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AIBU?

to be a little bit surprised and annoyed at this?

37 replies

Greydog · 08/03/2013 18:39

Today I have been to a funeral for an old, dear friend. One of the so called mourners was taking photos of people at the crematorium. I couldn't believe it. And not discrete pictures either - full camera set up. It made me really angry - I felt it was so disrespectful. What do you all think?

OP posts:

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YouTheCat · 10/03/2013 15:16

You would 'like' photos taken of mourners?

I'd comment and say you and others were quite appalled that this person was taking photos at a funeral where people were there to say goodbye to a loved one not pose for bloody pictures.

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YouTheCat · 10/03/2013 15:16

Supposed to say 'who' not 'you' - stupid brain.

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zukiecat · 10/03/2013 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elliejjtiny · 10/03/2013 16:14

If she ddn't have the family's blessing then it's unacceptable and rude. I have photos of DS4's funeral but that's only because I don't have many photos of him (miscarriage at 13 weeks) and also the hospital chaplain and the crematorium staff had made a huge effort for such a tiny baby and I wanted to remember that.

Who has "liked" the photos on facebook? The family or just randoms who know the photographer but not the person who died?

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Goldmandra · 10/03/2013 16:27

I think I would find it comforting to have photos of a loved one's funeral to look back on.

It is a time when family members get together, not having seen each other for years for a start. It is also a time when I might not remember details I wanted to be aware of later.

However I think the photographer would should be very, very careful to make sure of the family's feelings and that they had express permission from those he was photographing. I can think of a few of our family who might hold back tears for fear of looking naff in a photo and that would be so wrong.

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TheChaoGoesMu · 10/03/2013 16:36

I think its quite a nice idea, if its what the family wants and people are happy to have their photos taken.

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MrsMushroom · 10/03/2013 16:59

Irish people and other cultures do this a lot. It's personal. You're wrong to call it distasteful.

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ceres · 10/03/2013 18:04

mrs mushroom - i'm irish and in the trillions of funerals i've been to i have NEVER seen anyone take photos.

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HollyBerryBush · 10/03/2013 18:07

I've seen a funeral videoed but in fairness the children were very young (pre school) their father died at a young age, so it was done so they could see just how loved he was, because their memories would fade very quickly.

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Floggingmolly · 10/03/2013 18:07

Another Irish person here . Never seen this in my life, and if I did I'd struggle to bite my tongue.

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IceAddict · 10/03/2013 18:46

I have photos of close family together at a close relatives funeral but only 2 or 3 pics. Which i took late on when everyone had had a drink and were all reminiscing. I think it's a little odd to me to have a photographer or to put said photos on FB, but that is my opinion. A friend of a friend has pics of their stillborn baby as profile pics on FB. I was a bit taken aback as, if you go to search for the person to add as a friend you have no choice but to look at a baby that has passed away

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pickledparsnip · 10/03/2013 18:54

The fact they have put them on Facebook is really inappropriate.

My mum took photos at her dad's funeral. A bit unusual perhaps, but it was her dad & she wanted to. She was grieving, so in my opinion could do whatever the hell she wanted.

I have photos of my Gran in her coffin, my mum took some too. We were both utterly devastated when she died, just wanted one last photo I guess. Daft really as it doesn't even really look like her.