Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to be a little bit surprised and annoyed at this?

37 replies

Greydog · 08/03/2013 18:39

Today I have been to a funeral for an old, dear friend. One of the so called mourners was taking photos of people at the crematorium. I couldn't believe it. And not discrete pictures either - full camera set up. It made me really angry - I felt it was so disrespectful. What do you all think?

OP posts:

YouTheCat · 10/03/2013 15:16

You would 'like' photos taken of mourners?

I'd comment and say you and others were quite appalled that this person was taking photos at a funeral where people were there to say goodbye to a loved one not pose for bloody pictures.

YouTheCat · 10/03/2013 15:16

Supposed to say 'who' not 'you' - stupid brain.

zukiecat · 10/03/2013 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elliejjtiny · 10/03/2013 16:14

If she ddn't have the family's blessing then it's unacceptable and rude. I have photos of DS4's funeral but that's only because I don't have many photos of him (miscarriage at 13 weeks) and also the hospital chaplain and the crematorium staff had made a huge effort for such a tiny baby and I wanted to remember that.

Who has "liked" the photos on facebook? The family or just randoms who know the photographer but not the person who died?

Goldmandra · 10/03/2013 16:27

I think I would find it comforting to have photos of a loved one's funeral to look back on.

It is a time when family members get together, not having seen each other for years for a start. It is also a time when I might not remember details I wanted to be aware of later.

However I think the photographer would should be very, very careful to make sure of the family's feelings and that they had express permission from those he was photographing. I can think of a few of our family who might hold back tears for fear of looking naff in a photo and that would be so wrong.

TheChaoGoesMu · 10/03/2013 16:36

I think its quite a nice idea, if its what the family wants and people are happy to have their photos taken.

MrsMushroom · 10/03/2013 16:59

Irish people and other cultures do this a lot. It's personal. You're wrong to call it distasteful.

ceres · 10/03/2013 18:04

mrs mushroom - i'm irish and in the trillions of funerals i've been to i have NEVER seen anyone take photos.

HollyBerryBush · 10/03/2013 18:07

I've seen a funeral videoed but in fairness the children were very young (pre school) their father died at a young age, so it was done so they could see just how loved he was, because their memories would fade very quickly.

Floggingmolly · 10/03/2013 18:07

Another Irish person here . Never seen this in my life, and if I did I'd struggle to bite my tongue.

IceAddict · 10/03/2013 18:46

I have photos of close family together at a close relatives funeral but only 2 or 3 pics. Which i took late on when everyone had had a drink and were all reminiscing. I think it's a little odd to me to have a photographer or to put said photos on FB, but that is my opinion. A friend of a friend has pics of their stillborn baby as profile pics on FB. I was a bit taken aback as, if you go to search for the person to add as a friend you have no choice but to look at a baby that has passed away

pickledparsnip · 10/03/2013 18:54

The fact they have put them on Facebook is really inappropriate.

My mum took photos at her dad's funeral. A bit unusual perhaps, but it was her dad & she wanted to. She was grieving, so in my opinion could do whatever the hell she wanted.

I have photos of my Gran in her coffin, my mum took some too. We were both utterly devastated when she died, just wanted one last photo I guess. Daft really as it doesn't even really look like her.

Flip

1 2