To feel a bit sad about this?

[teacher123]

Right, I have a 10mo DS and have just (today) been diagnosed with anxiety and PND after many months of feeling pretty rubbish. My DPs know that I've been feeling awful and encouraged me to go to the drs.

DH does shifts and is working all day on Mother's day so am spending my first mothers day on my own. I had hoped to go and see my parents who live 1 1/2 hours drive away but had forgotten that I'd agreed to do some paid work for a couple of hours in the morning. Money is really tight at the moment, so I couldn't turn it down. So I rang my parents last week and said that I was really sorry I couldn't now go, would they like to come here for lunch and see DS? They said no, as they were busy on the Saturday night and early on Monday morning and didn't want to do the drive. Fair enough said I.

Fwd to this morning. I ring my mum and tell her that the dr has prescribed antidepressants and some counselling and I'm feeling a bit low, but glad that things are going to change. Then we got onto the weekend, she asked what I was doing on Sunday. I said, well working in the morning, then nothing really as am on my own with DS. It then transpires that she and my dad are going to visit my sister and her husband for lunch. Who lives about an hour and a half drive away from them (in a completely different direction to me).

I just feel a bit sad. AIBU?

It does seem a bit off to say they can't come over to you but can manage the same distance the other way to see your SIL.

Is it a one off thing or part of a bigger back story?

If it's one off then I'd just put it down to complicated weekend stuff, you only told your mum today that you're not feeling on top of things so they're not doing it to deliberately snub you.

It's possible as well that they might change their plans again so they can see you, or do something like keeping in closer touch with you to make sure you're OK.

It's good you've been to the docs, hopefully it won't take too long before you're feeling a bit better

My parents are lovely and I have a very good relationship with them normally. I think they've been thoughtless rather than unkind, but just feel a bit sad.

They've been encouraging me to go to drs for a while as I've not been coping terribly well.

I think my mum had forgotten, as she then started saying -'but DH will be there with you' and I kept saying 'no, he won't he's at WORK!'

Oh well, will have to have flowers and breakfast in bed on Monday instead!

Ach well, I wouldn't give it a second thought then, they sound lovely

DH 'forgot' to get me anything for my first mothers day, he thought that because DD1 was only 4 months old that it wouldn't mean anything!

He knows better now (not that I'm into it big time or anything)

Flowers and breakfast in bed on Monday will more than make up for it I'm sure

Of course you're not being unreasonable. You are feeling sad and diagnosed with PND.

I am absolutely sure your parents had just already made arrangements, it would be difficult to cancel one sister to see another.

Take the medication and the counselling.

Plan to have a nice day with ds on Sunday and get a nice bottle of wine for when dh is home.

This will pass and things won't always seem sad and difficult.

I know they haven't done it to upset me, and they are probably feeling far worse than I am as my mum had that definite 'I've just realised I've put my foot in it' tone of voice!

Will probably spend most of Sunday in Costa eating tiffin! Now suddenly that doesn't sound too bad...!

Costa tiffin is rather lovely, and I might now have to venture there on Sunday myself

Mmmmm tiffin. I might have two pieces...

Make it a special day between you and DS anyway. The costa treat sounds like a good start!
And then perhaps make plans with your mum for another day and have that to look forward too as well.

And happy first Mother's Day - enjoy it!