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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To sometimes feel overwhelmed by silly stuff

18 replies

Spice17 · 08/03/2013 11:59

Is this a modern phenomenon I wonder? I sometimes feel completely overwhelmed by seemingly the most silly, little things.

I have a 5 mo old DD and we're staying at DBIL/SILs at the weekend, while DD is having a nap I'm trying to sort everything we need and getting in a real state about it. Wanting to look nice and feel confident, so spent ages trying to find clothes for me, then started to look for DDs clothes, matching coat, hats etc (am a bit OCD about this!)

Then moved on to thinking about toys, travel cot, milk etc etc, am at the point of literally piling it all up by the door now, so I don't forget anything and feel like I won't relax at all until we're on our way (I'm not joking) is this mental??

On another AIBU point related to this, am tempted to say to DH 'Right, you get all of DDs stuff ready' and see what we end up with when we get there! probably a vest, a summer dress and 1 sock Sure he would look at me like I'd asked him to fly to China to get me some rice for dinner.

OP posts:

pinkpaws · 08/03/2013 12:22

Afternoon I know just what you mean I also have OCD and like things to be so but even among my friends who are normal lol they say the same. The feeling of being overwhelmed is a common one . Funny not so many men/Dads feel like this and i believe its because we as women take on the task of sorting , caring , and running after everyone else while needing it to be all perfect . The answer i have found is to just not care if things are not so perfect if you can which i cant. Or just leave yourself more time I am afraid its part of being female.

MrsMushroom · 08/03/2013 12:24

I am a bit this way incined OP....is your DD your first? I was especially bad when my first was a baby...feeling everything had to be perfect. It DOES get better and you will get to a point where you won't worry about these things so much.

BlueMonkey13 · 08/03/2013 12:24

We go away a lot with our 2 DC and I have had to create a spreadsheet with a list of all we need to pack. I just print a new one everytime with a few changes if needed. I need to do this otherwise like you I would not be able to relax and worry about forgeting something.

TheSeniorWrangler · 08/03/2013 12:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsrobertduvall · 08/03/2013 12:30

I panic abut packing....it can take me days to even pack for myself.
Luckily we don't go away much and never as a family.

BerthaTheBogCleaner · 08/03/2013 12:34

Are you getting to sleep at night? When I'm sleep deprived it feels like my brain can't hold as much, and having to organise things makes me panicky.

There is an element of "if I get the packing right I can have a relaxing weekend" versus "if we leave the favourite cuddly toy and the nappies behind its going to be hell" too.

I have lists. I have a "going away for the weekend" list that I update and print out. Then I can pack in 3-minute bursts whenever I get a moment, or delegate to dh (as in "pack some things on this list and tick them off").

givemeaclue · 08/03/2013 12:35

My tip, make a list on computer. Print it every time you go away. It saves the need to think. I agree packing etc is a chore and can take ages getting all the bits together. Yanbu

Original poster

Spice17 · 08/03/2013 12:39

MrsMushroom yes DD is my first, how did you guess

Starting to feel like I really do have a bit of a problem. I spent about 2 hours Weds eve trying to find the 'perfect' clothes for me to wear on a weekend away with the ILs at the end of March and they're currently all laid out on the spare bed. I was totally knackered from a hard day with DD too, so god knows why I do stuff like that. I also pack for a holiday abroad about 4 weeks in advance and then keep reviewing it, taking stuff out, putting different stuff in, thinking I need a specific colour top and trawling round shops trying to find it.

BlueMonkey13 I would definitely have a spreadsheet like you (such a good idea) but don't have Excel on my laptop.

I seriously feel like I can't enjoy today at all, I'm so weird. I do feel a bit like I want to be the cool looking mum and not frumpy, so I stress constantly about it. And I panic that I'll forget something of DDs too (even if I could just pop out and get some more of whatever it is)

Oh dear, typing this is making me clearly see I have issues.......

PS I hate those people who are wearing something, throw any coat and scarf on and it clashes or whatever but still looks great!

OP posts:

Snoopingforsoup · 08/03/2013 12:39

Ha ha. I'm like that too.
Lists are great, but then I have actually emptied a suitcase to make sure 'that' T Shirt/charger/hat was in it and hadn't been missed.

I once asked DH to put a folded pile on the end of the bed in the communal suitcase and trusted him to zip up. I arrived at our destination and found lots of old outfits I'd made at fashion college, I'd previously stored them in the suitcase we were using. The majority of my clothes were still at home! That hasn't helped my packing horror.

Probably not helping - but I understand the nightmare. And yes, this inability to leave the house feeling secure does pass...It must or I'd never have trusted DH.

Wishiwasanheiress · 08/03/2013 12:44

I hate holidays. Lists to go. Lists of tasks. Lists of lists! Also takes me about 3 days to get myself relaxed. Once I've worked out unpacking, storage, food/meals locations, nappy changing best place, etc etc.

Thought this was just me. I get so tense before as I do it all. Dh basically packs the car then huffs about how hard it's been getting away. I've done a months prep and lost couple days of hols!

Don't feel same about going home. Just lob it together. Funny eh?

Eebahgum · 08/03/2013 12:45

I completely sympathise. Am currently at mil's (we came down last night for mothers day weekend) do yesterday was my manic packing day. Not so worried about matching hats etc but just trying to think of all the things he could possibly need over the course of a weekend blow my mind. For example, how many nappies do I need to take? (We've had 6 already and now i'm worried I'll run out). Like the idea of getting dp to pack and setting what we get - but think that might send me into more of a flap!

Wewereherefirst · 08/03/2013 12:49

I do lists for weeks before going away. I do try and think, in the UK at least, there's nothing I can't buy if I run out. It makes it easier to think that and take deep breaths.
You are not alone.

goodjambadjar · 08/03/2013 12:52

Agree with the lists! I went old school, I wrote a list and kept it in the suitcase/overnight bag. packed stuff in order and made sure the list stayed in the bag.. it meant I could pack it all for the return trip too!

RobotHamster · 08/03/2013 13:15

I have a list I can send you if you like? It's in Excel, but it would probably open up in word. Or I could save it as an image?

Pandemoniaa · 08/03/2013 13:25

Lists are the way to go and you don't need Excel to create one. I'd strongly recommend not starting to pack weeks in advance too because that way lies terrible indecision and even more stress.

Instead, make the sort of list that shows what you need to take and a reminder of when it will all need washing (i.e. 3 days before you go you tick off the washing part of the task). If necessary, rewrite the list rather than dragging all the clothes in and out of cupboards too. It's much easier to tinker with a list than it is sort through clothes.

Admittedly I don't get anxious about packing but for all that, without some sort of list I would go into very disorganised mode.

Ionasky · 08/03/2013 14:52

sounds to me like you're tired and over-thinking the trip although it's true the amount you have to take for babies is enormous - i wonder if you're a bit worried about judgments from ILs. it's hard but you'll be happier if you can let more things go - not that i'm good at it...

ProfYaffle · 08/03/2013 15:03

When my dds were babies, we spent a lot of time staying away from home as both sets of grandparents are an overnight visit distance away. I used to keep a 'master' packing list with everything on it, clothes, toys, medicines etc etc, I'd print it off a few days before every trip and add to it any specifics needed for that particular trip as they occurred to me. This stopped all the "must remember X" buzzing around my head and made the actual packing really quite quick as it was just gathering the stuff off the list.

Original poster

Spice17 · 08/03/2013 15:54

Glad to hear I'm not the only loopy one

Snooping Hilarious! That's why you can never trust DHs to pack, see, I told you all.

Robot thanks so much for the offer but have done a written list now, am hoping now it's written down, I will be able to get some sleep tonight

Pandermoniaa I agree that the 'weeks before' packing doesn't help, definitely makes the stress worse (but also makes me feel better in my mad little head!)

Have packed DDs clothes now, just everything else to go!

OP posts:

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