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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to carry my son from room to room because he demands and points

13 replies

lhs198 · 08/03/2013 10:06

This may sound harsh but I am a tired reck at the moment after 4 days of poorly ds who has learned the power of a point and "Ahhh" to accompany. He was 1 last month he doesn't crawl, or roll, or have any intentions of walking any time soon. He just sits there pointing and ahhhing until someone (me) takes him to his desired location. Usually hovering him really uncomfortably somewhere so he can play with something he really shouldn't be touching (coffee machine, candle stick) He has no interest in toys even if I sit and play with him he just does the pointing thing. I have tried to ignore and just carry on playing but he is a strong willed lo. I just don't know how to engage him in play. He will play for a little while if I leave him so he can't see me but I do t really like doing that. I am an emotional reck today but I could just cry.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 08/03/2013 10:09

Firstly if you don't want him playing with something don't let him. Just because he wants to doesn't mean he can!

Will he scribble on paper? At that age DS loved "drawing"

mummymeister · 08/03/2013 10:10

You need to get out more - mother and toddler groups, play places, swimming lessons. For your own sanity you need to try and meet up with other kids and parents. he is only 1 and is going through a bit of a phase it will pass but until it does you need to do more things to get you out and about and stop feeling as trapped by this as you clearly do. believe me, i would swop my 3 teenagers like a shot to have them back at this age again. put him in the pram and go for a walk.

Fakebook · 08/03/2013 10:20

Can't you coax him into crawling/walking at least by placing objects a bit further away from him so he has to reach for them? He may skip crawling and start walking out of the blue. My dsis apparently did that.

CloudsAndTrees · 08/03/2013 10:22

If he's not rolling over at more than a year old, have you seen the HV for advice?

Flobbadobs · 08/03/2013 10:32

Well DD2 totally skipped the rolling stage but does a mean bumshuffle and is on the cusp of walking.
However if your Ds has no devolpment concerns and has learnt the power of the point he will milk it for all he is worth! My Ds did this instead of talking, he could make himself perfectly understood by pointing and making noises and until we sussed him we got whatever he wanted.
Place objects that make a noise just out of reach, sit behind them and really go ott in encouraging him to reach out for them, move them a little further away each time, play chasing games (crawling around him, play boo etc), put music on for him to 'dance' to, anything to encourage him to move under his own steam! Has he got a push along walker type of thing? They can be a brilliant way of encouraging them to pull themselves up, if you can stand the damn song the Vtech one is great and fairly reasonably priced.
Of he starts to reach for things he's not allowed to play with a firm 'no thank you', move him away and give him something else as a distraction will work if you stick to it.
After all that, if you have concerns about his movement, talk to your HV.
YANBU, its exhausting but with a little work it can be overcome.

LadyPessaryPam · 08/03/2013 10:33

He won't walk if you obligingly carry him everywhere! Put on music and headphones and read a book thus ignoring him and let him try to be mobile.

rainrainandmorerain · 08/03/2013 10:35

Is there a reason why you can't get out of the house easily? It sounds more as if that is the problem than your dc pointing at things and wanting to be accompanied to investigate. Which is a good thing, btw, although puts pressure on you as his his guide to the world.

Get put in the buggy, where there are many more things to distract you and him, go to a parent and toddler group, ditto - you need to try and accomodate this without it overwhelming you.

Or if at home, cart him around with you to do the things YOU need to do. I had a high needs ds, but when he could sit up but not crawl, I could plonk him in the middle of the bed and have him 'help' sort laundry with me. Big socks, little socks etc etc. Or plonk him on the kitchen floor with some saucepans, wooden spoons, tupperware and let him bash things around while I washed up. You've still got a small needy companion, but at least you feel a bit less dragged around by them...

TheBigJessie · 08/03/2013 10:42

Oh, you sound tired.

I know this might sound stupid, but have you tried crawling up and down in front of him yourself? I tried this with my twins individually, and they each started trying to crawl the next day.

Original poster

lhs198 · 08/03/2013 10:43

He has booked another app in few months to check progress. We do go to a couple of groups he is the same if he can see me he will just cry or point at me. I feel like a terrible mummy he goes to a childminder twice a week and I look forward to the days he isn't with me. I put things far way he can twirl and eventually get them or just cry. If I put his feet to the floor he just puts his legs up into stirring position. He doesn't really scribble he is just like a baby half his age. He doesn't talk I don't think he understands what I am talking to him about. My daughter was so different having conversations at this age. Maybe I'm expecting too much. I know it will pass just feeling frustrated!!

OP posts:

Original poster

lhs198 · 08/03/2013 10:45

And thank you

OP posts:

TheBigJessie · 08/03/2013 10:47

Go to the appointments, just in case. But he could be just developing at his own pace.

specialsubject · 08/03/2013 12:07

ask the childminder what happens there - you might get some hints. Attila the Baby is playing you up!

BackforGood · 08/03/2013 12:15

Another appointment with who ?
I'd be pressing for more questions to be asked if my 1 yr old couldn't roll or crawl or look like they were making any effort to stand/walk, and who didn't have any interest in any toys. Yes, I know some children don't crawl, and not walking at 1 isn't a concern at all, but added together, everything you say does worry me more. What does your CM say? What does your HV say?

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