To be cross that my friend said my baby has a small willy?

[Zara1984]

Just that. She said he had big balls but a small willy (while I was changing his nappy). Why would you say that about a 4 month old baby boy?

Am I being over sensitive? I feel like this is just the start of awful sexual stereotypes put on him.

I can't believe everyone's so outraged by it - if she just mentioned it by way of comparison, then surely it's more likely just to be something she noticed fairly innocently isn't it? In the same way that my friends and I have compared: height, foot size, length of time doing sad face before actually breaking out the tears, amusement expressed at farting etc. There is nothing competitive about it, just noticing differences between babies who are all at pretty much the same stage of development especially when you happen to see them side by side or notice something which is considerably different from your own. I personally wouldn't be offended by someone mentioning the size of any of my son's body parts - OP is it just because she said it was small? Would you be as annoyed if she had said it was much larger than her son's?

YANBU; she sounds like a right wierdo. This is taking competetive parenting to dizzy new heights; my babies genitals are biggger than your babies genitals. I mean WTF!

It does go the other way. I've had numerous people commenting on the size of my son's willy when he was a baby (large). I wasn't offended. Which has resulted in me having entire conversations with both DM and DMiL about the size of pretty much every male in the families willies. Isn't it just a body part like any other really? Like looking back in the family tree to see that Great Uncle Brian had a big nose? Or that Granny has knobbly knees. Or Auntie val was a martyr to her elbows?

Very rude and odd, I would have said Hes a baby his willy is ment to be like that! I would have told her that body parts come in all shoes and sizes, silly woman!

I have never understood the social acceptability of talking about the size or shape of your son's genitalia in public. But mums in my NCT group seem to discuss it jokingly. I don't get it. And personally I think it's a double standard as you wouldn't comment on a baby girl's (surely).

I think it's just yet another bit of competitive parenting: I've got a friend who has to have the best or be the best at everything in comparison to us. It's all very wearing and imo so unnecessary. We were changing our babies' nappies together once and I could see her craning over to get a quick shufty at my son's willy. She then went on and on and on about how sorry she felt for another friend who's baby boys willy was (adopt whispery voice) tiny. She followed this bizarre statement up with (adopt loud ringing tones) "of course Englebert's willy is huge!! He's a very well endowed boy; just like his father!!!" Why? Why!?!* Ignore ignore. That's my advice. I have 3 DSs and they vary in that department hugely (pardon the pun)

*not his real name funnily.

DoJo I don't think it was just because she said it was small, but perhaps I might have been less affronted if she had said my DS' was enormous. In my head it I think it was like this: "Eh? Does she go around looking at other baby's willies to compare with her DS'? And my sweet lovely perfect DS has a small one? But small always = bad when it comes to willies, surely? So this is derogatory? Does that mean people are going to tease him? Eh? WTF is going on here..."

Also I think there was a bit of me being horrified because discussion of willy size is something that's generally done in a sexual context. And I don't want anyone to think of my sweet little baby in that way.

But maybe I'm overthinking it.

I just find it odd that anyone would comment on a baby's genitalia.

I would probably have been extremely insulting back tbh.

Is it not possible that she said it in a lighthearted kind of way without any hint I competitiveness? I suppose if she was very close friend who's never been mean or competitive I wouldn't over think it like you're doing.

I had no idea babies willys came in different sizes I am going to be a creepy lady peeping over at the other mums at baby singing changing their baby boys at baby massage tomorrow.

Very odd of your friend to comment.

We did joke when I was pregnant that DS was not shy, there was no chance of not knowing he was a boy at his 20 week ultrasound, i think he might have had a baby erection because it was unnaturally big and pointy uppy. Now it is just a willy, like a 1/10 version of a grown up willy.

I think it was a very odd thing to say.

God knows in this world having a huge willy is still seen as being a wonderful thing so it was a negative comment.

So she's either a bit dim/insensitive/rather mean.

But ignore her.

I have to say my DB, upon seeing DS1 bing changed for the first tiem announced "he wont have trouble with the girls will he???" >nudge nudge<

I was a bit , what if girls didnt float his boat.

But also, at the child minders (summer, paddling pool, all the kids had shucked thier clothes), I was absolutely awstruck at the then 3 yo who had one that touched his knees (I kid ye not) and it took all my powers to not stare. One can only hope he grew into it because he'd never get underpants to fit if he didnt!

PS - I can spell, honest!

I remember my sister comparing my son's willy unfavourably with my nephew's under the guise of being 'concerned' about it. I was quietly furious. She also went on to be 'concerned' about my daughter's perceived lack of chin so I decided maybe this was more about her than my children.

I think it really weird to comment on a child genitalia. Seriously weird.

I suppose I just think of their willies like any other body part at this age, just one you don't see as much because they are in nappies, and it's the reactions to the comment which sexualise it for me, but I didn't hear how she said it so maybe it's just the way I'm interpreting it from your OP. Would you be bothered if she had said your son had smaller hands than hers, or longer toes? As I say, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest but then it wouldn't occur to me that someone was sexually stereotyping my tiny baby either.

OP I totally get your crossness; when my sister first saw DS being bathed she came out with "Oh he's got such a tiny willy, it's sooooo small!"

She didn't mean it nastily as such, but her sons have 'famously' large willies (again ) and I've heard all about them numerous times...
Tbh I think she'd rather they were less well endowed, she's rather sick of her DSs willy competitions and coming downstairs to breakfast to find them comparing erections...

Do you think you would've been as upset if she had said your ds had a bigger willy than her ds?

I am so glad I dont have a willy to worry about

Thats revolting Tiddly

OP YANBU

The fact that she saw fit to compare and contrast is strange enough in itself, Girl, whoever actually "won" the competition.

Weird weird weird!
Who on earth has conversations about a baby's genitals? I'm afraid I wouldn't have been cross OP, I would have said "what the fuck are you on about?" And laughed in her face...
Some people feel the need to comment on everything...

Jesus christ, i'd have catsbummed her into oblivion.

Mind you if it wasnt socially acceptable for women to put down / laugh at men who arent lucky enough to be blessed with a huge willy it probably wouldnt be an issue.

I have a 16wo DS and a 2.10yo DD. I have honestly never thought to look at a naked baby/baby being nappy changed and compare genitalia. But then, I wouldn't necessarily compare any physical aspect of a baby - they'll all different one way or another!! I might possibly say something like 'DS has a sticky out belly button, so does DD, but your dc doesn't.' Or 'DS loves getting naked for a nappy change, just like DH' although obviously DH doesn't wear a nappy

I would find it a very strange comparison to be made, regardless of whether it was favourable or unfavorable.

Having said that, a friend with 2 DS once commented that her youngest was a tripod... But I think that's different because it was her that raised the subject & making the comparison iyswim.

YANBU.

It's just odd

Ds4 is 5 weeks old and I spent hours listening to the women in the next bed to me go on about her newborns massive balls, the whole family were at it. Also how "contented" he was at the grand age of 3 hours while my 2 day old screamed in the background

Your friend, op is an idiot.

Question your friendship from now on. If a friend can make such a crass and ignorant comment about his penis, I'd be wondering about her opinion on anything from now on.

So of course you are not being unreasonable.