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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to move house solely for primary school?

44 replies

oldmacdonaldhadaseagull · 06/03/2013 11:51

This isn't a burning issue yet, but will be next year and it's playing on my mind a lot.

We currently live in a rented house. It's a lovely house, in a lovely road, completely suited to our needs and affordable. We looked around a lot of shitholes before finding this one.

The only issue is the area we live in. The diplomatic way of describing it would be as very socially deprived. Lots of high rise flats, poverty, unemployment. The horrible way to describe it would be as very chavvy. This wasn't a problem for us initially - all we cared about was the house itself, not the area.

But our DD is growing up and next year, we will have to start looking at primary schools. If we were to sign another contract on the house next year, then obviously we'd be applying for schools in this area.

So here is the bit I imagine I might get flamed for - AIBU to not want DD to go to school in this area, and to want to move out of our lovely house purely so that we can move to a more MC area and have her go to a school there?
I have had a look at the local school's Ofsted report and test results and it's actually not bad. But I just worry about the children that would be her peers - would they be coming from families with the same outlook on life as us? Could this affect DD in anyway?

My instincts are telling me not to send her to school in a socially deprived area. AIBU?

OP posts:
50BalesOfHay · 06/03/2013 11:55

You're right, you will get flamed, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to do your best for your children. Those from your current area may be fine though, why not spend some time in around the school at the beginning and end of the day and see what your impressions are?

BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 06/03/2013 11:56

YAB judgemental and assuming things of families you don't even know.Hmm

Callisto · 06/03/2013 12:04

I'm not going to flame you for not wanting to send you child to school in a socially deprived area, thought there will be plenty on here that will Hmm.

I was going to say don't move, but as you're renting and in a really bad area it may be your best bet to ensure your DD gets the best possible education. You need to research rentals and schools in the areas that you're looking at - and be aware you may not get into your first choice school. I also think that checking out the schools in the area you are currently in is a good idea.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 06/03/2013 12:07

YANBU - you do what you got to do...you wouldn't be doing anything wrong by moving to an area where the schools are better.

You are her parents, it is your perogative to live wherever you feel is better for her.

ophelia275 · 06/03/2013 12:09

Do what you want and what you feel is best for your child. It is nobody else's business what you do. You don't have to be a martyr and live in a crappy area just so that you can show mumsnet you are pc. In the real world things don't work like that.

I would move personally although I think it tends to be a choice between nice big house in crappy area and small house/flat in good area these days. You never know what will happen with the house and your landlord could sell/ask you to leave and then you'd be stuck in a crappy area with your dd in a crappy school. At least if you get your dd into a good school then even if you have to move her place in the school stays.

AngryFeet · 06/03/2013 12:17

I moved houses for primary school and I am currently moving again for secondary choices. I don't give a shit if it makes me a snob or whatever. I am not sending my kids to a school where the GCSE pass rate is 30% and where the police turn up weekly to deal with fights etc.

The other kids they make friends with and spend time with in teenage years will be a big part of what shapes who they are. So I will give them the best opportunities I can.

YANBU.

Floggingmolly · 06/03/2013 12:21

You would not be unreasonable at all. Everyone I know, including ourselves, chose their home on the basis of accessible schools.

Sugarice · 06/03/2013 12:21

Nothing wrong with doing what you consider to be the right thing for your dd.

Start looking at moving to another house in an area you prefer, good luck!

TheChaoGoesMu · 06/03/2013 12:23

I would if I was renting, makes it easier to move closer to a decent school.

Sinkingfeeling · 06/03/2013 12:25

YANBU, but make sure you check out your current local primary school and any in the areas you're thinking of moving to first. Visit them, talk to the headteacher and parents of kids at the schools if possible and observe the atmosphere, behaviour of pupils, wall displays etc. You might find that you prefer your local school, even if on paper it seems 'worse' than others in the area.

Cherriesarelovely · 06/03/2013 12:26

I did the same thing. Well, I had to move anyway so carefully chose a house in the catchment of the school I wanted her to go to. I have taught in alot of different schools and enjoyed it but that doesn't mean I would want my Dd going to them all. I don't blame you at all.

fromparistoberlin · 06/03/2013 12:27

I am a bit torn on this one

Now our area is not deprived, but neither is it MC, DS school is ofsted outstanding but its not chocca with little white MC children, put it that way

I was (naively) very surpised to find out that people are moving to send their kids to a more MC school down the road. In fact some of the conversation I had frankly depressed me. People even said they did not want to send their DC to our school as it was too ethnic

That said the second nearest school is fed by the council estate and NOONE wants to send their kids there

so I can kind of see where you are coming from , move but at the same time have an open mind as ethnically mixed schools can be really great happy places

mummymeister · 06/03/2013 12:30

before doing anything go and have a look around the school as well as looking at the ofsted. its a big decision to move and you might find that you move somewhere else to be close to a better school which is then oversubscribed and you end up living somewhere you dont want and your dc being at an even worse school than the one you moved away from. if this is your first dc then you need to be aware that a fairly high percentage of kids do not get their first choice school.

Justforlaughs · 06/03/2013 12:31

Would I move? - Yes! Do I think that by moving you will have no issues with the school or your DD's peers? No!
Every school and area will have it's own issues. Many affluent, high achieving areas, at the moment, are having massive problems with teen suicides. Other, fairly well-off areas have huge problems with drink and drugs etc. Not all schools who are privelidged to cater for the "privelidged" few are achieving well either.

Original poster
oldmacdonaldhadaseagull · 06/03/2013 12:42

so I can kind of see where you are coming from , move but at the same time have an open mind as ethnically mixed schools can be really great happy places

It's nothing to do with the school being ethnically mixed - the whole city we live in is predominately white. I wouldn't have an issue with that anyway; it's about this area and worries I can't even properly articulate. Just a general unease about all of DD's peers coming from families which I know are very different to ours.

Thanks for the replies...I am pleasantly surprised to not have received overwhelming YABUs. We will be carefully researching various areas and schools before making any move. Is there a certain time of year that primary schools tend to hold open days?

OP posts:
RugBugs · 06/03/2013 12:43

YANBU

I'm refusing to move for the same reason.

We're currently in catchment of an outstanding school with 25% of pupils getting 2x level 5, if we move to where we can afford to buy we'll be just out of that catchment (which was 450m last year) and DD would go to a school god knows where as we'd be in something of a black hole.

Terranova · 06/03/2013 12:43

Gosh you are renting. Do it! Its easy, you have time on your hands and you don't have to sell in a dire market.

I agree with the above poster, every school has different issues, our local comp isn't great, our 2nd comp is very middle class, people pay over the odds in property to get Thier children in, but it has some serious problems (drugs) which parents refuse to admit to.

Who gives a toss what others think, you do what is best for you and your child.

KellyElly · 06/03/2013 12:47

I would do whatever was right for my child and their education and I imagine anyone who had the choice would as well.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 06/03/2013 12:48

Remember, what a good school now might change in a years time. Also schools in area of deprivation can have the advantage that they may attract more funding for various things.

fromparistoberlin · 06/03/2013 12:48

i posted to fast OP, I think my comment is directed at others not you! do what you think it best

newgirl · 06/03/2013 12:53

go the open days as soon as you can for as many local schools as you can

my kids go to a great primary but if you look at the local area it is one of the least posh areas in the city - but it is a great school with hardworking teachers and children. Not what youd expect at all. There are smarter areas but the schools are not as good - its only one indicator.

Cherriesarelovely · 06/03/2013 13:03

That is very true newgirl, that was one of the things I learned from doing a couple of years worth of supply teaching. Definitely do not judge a book by it's cover where schools are concerned. Also, don't dismiss one school because it was "only good" according to OFSTED in favour of one that is deemed "outstanding". Go and look and see for yourself.

Original poster
oldmacdonaldhadaseagull · 06/03/2013 13:10

This particular school got "good" in its last Ofsted report...I've just double checked the test results though and only 5% achieved Level 5 in English & Maths, which is one of the lowest in the city (there are some schools with over 40%) - for some reason I thought they'd performed better than that. So it's not just the area, but shoddy results too.

OP posts:
bangwhizz · 06/03/2013 13:16

I would be a lot more concerned about which secondary school you are in the catchment for.

bangwhizz · 06/03/2013 13:17

I doubt you and OFSTED are looking for the same things in a school.Stand by the school gate at pick up time and that will tell you a lot of what you need to know about whether you want your DC there.