WIBU not to read ds1 a bedtime story last night - feeling guilty

[lecce]

For the first time ever ds1 (6) did not get a bedtime story last night and I am feeling shit about it. He bit me as we were getting ready for bed - not hard, it was messing about that he took too far. It was very unusual for him, he hasn't done it since he was a toddler. I stayed pretty calm and went in ds2's room to read to him. What makes me feel bad is that ds1 then came in and apologised and I didn't relent . I tucked him in and he hid under the covers and didn't read himself - which he always does after I've gone downstairs. He kept saying, "I want a better mummy, I want my proper mummy back." .

The thing is, I feel I may have been looking for an excuse not to read it anyway. Things are tough at the moment - I work f/t and dh, usually a sahd, has MS and is having a relapse. I find the whole time from 4.30 -bedtime so exhausting and don't really enjoy it much, yet it is the only time I see the dc during the week . Even when dh is well I find myself watching the clock till bedtime and at the moment I am even more stretched.

Sometimes I think what was the point of having children as I can't enjoy them. Bedtime story is the one guaranteed quality thing we do in the week, and I didn't do it last night.

so do it tonight. Explain again why he didn't get one last night, and you hope it doesn't happen again because you missed telling him his story.

He does need to understand that a consequence of HIS actions doesnt make YOU the bad guy.

You need to stop feeling guilty about things like this - it is your job to discipline him, not to feel guilty when he is sad about being disciplined.

I think you WNBU. Biting is a big deal in this house and I would have done the same. Your ds will not be harmed by you following through on a punishment. Give him a cuddle when you get home, I bet he will have forgotten it.

Hope your dh feels better soon.

He kept saying, "I want a better mummy, I want my proper mummy back."

OMG he is learning very young how to manipulate you isn't he? He is 6, he is old enough to take consequences and you need to cut yourself some slack. You cannot be everything to everyone all the time. Please don't martyr yourself.

Ywnbu - actions have consequences and you've taught him an important lesson! Of course he'll try to make out it's your fault, he's learning how to get his own way. If it had worked and he'd got the story, what message does that send?

Hope I'm as strong as you when mine gets that big

You sound stressed out. Your punishment may not have been unreasonable but it sounds to me like you feel you handled it badly/overeacted. If so, ds is 6 he is able to understand an explaination. I often apologise to my kids after the fact if I think I have been unfair and I think this makes for better relationships and more mutual respect. If you think you were unfair say so, say sorry, explain why and move on.