Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to not want to go to this wedding?

22 replies

LoveYourSweater · 05/03/2013 22:56

During uni I lived in a house of 5 women, one of them is getting married this year and we have all been invited. We have all stayed in touch and are good friends.

The other three women are all in long term committed relationships and will be bringing their partners ... and I broke up with my partner in October. No children are allowed either, which isn't a problem as my ex would have our DD that weekend anyway.

It's just I won't know anyone at the wedding (apart from the bride and groom) but the three women and their partners - I really don't want to be the only single one there. (We will have to stay overnight too as its a few hours away)

I know this is a stupid reason not to go as I do want to see my friend get married. Aibu to not go?

OP posts:

plantsitter · 05/03/2013 23:00

YABU.

I always think a wedding invitation is an invitation not a summons, so you shouldn't go if you don't want to. But it's clear you do want to go! Is it possible there will be other people from Uni that you vaguely knew? Is it possible there will be a gorgeous single man there? Can you just get drunk and have a dance with your friends?

I think you would be silly not to go just because you think you will be the only single one there.

aldiwhore · 05/03/2013 23:00

I would ring the bride and see if, because you have no partner at present, you could bring a plus one? Take a friend.

I think YWBU to miss out, BUT I totally understand why you'd be anxious about being there alone.

I've known a few single people meet their future husbands at friend's weddings, so meh, who knows, you may actually have a ball! Also, if you Uni friends are together, if you're anything like me and mine, the partners will be subjected to hours of us rebonding and feeling a little left out, not YOU!

I would seriously consider enquiring whether you can bring a +1.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 05/03/2013 23:01

Have you been invited with a +1? Have you got another friend you could take along?

If not you could maybe speak to your other friends about how you are feeling so they make sure you aren't left alone.

WorraLiberty · 05/03/2013 23:02

I agree with aldi about the +1

It won't hurt to ask.

KC225 · 05/03/2013 23:03

Agree with Plant - IT'S A WEDDING. Spruced up single men on their best behaviour - go get one ......

JollyGolightly · 05/03/2013 23:07

YANBU to be a bit apprehensive about attending the wedding, but you would be very U to let that stop you going. Just go. I bet you have a fab time.

CloudsAndTrees · 05/03/2013 23:09

It would be unreasonable not to support your friend and celebrate with her on a day that will be very special to her because you will be single. You are very unlikely to be the only single person there.

Iamsparklyknickers · 05/03/2013 23:10

There are lots of reasons I would happily agree for anybody to avoid a wedding for (overpriced, overponced bloody parties grumble grumble) - this ain't one.

You want to see your friend get married, you've got enough people you know there to have a 'group' - go!

Don't let being single dictate what you will and won't do, it's all the same stuff, if you enjoy it when you've a bedwarmer you'll enjoy it without. Hell, treat yourself to an overnight hotel room and have room service breakfast in a bubble bath the next morning.

How would you feel sitting at home on the day knowing they were all there?

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 05/03/2013 23:13

Ask the bride if you can take a friend, im single, so for my sisters wedding, i took my closest and longest friend to the wedding, you just gotta ask.

Piemother · 05/03/2013 23:18

I went to a friends wedding with about 5 married couples v soon after I separated. It was fine and mostly people just tried to look after me in a nice kind of clumsy way. I was pg too so feeling super self conscious and single. If these other couples are your friends they will understand and support you. If you are really feeling uncomfortable at least ring the other couples and tell them. They will want to keep you company more than likely

TheSecondComing · 05/03/2013 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bickie · 05/03/2013 23:22

Go! My friend in similar situation met her wonderful DH at a wedding she was very scared about going to solo. But YANBU - very normal reaction.

MummytoKatie · 05/03/2013 23:24

I have been with dh since 1999 but about 18 months ago I went to a wedding on my own due to a combination of childcare and holiday issues.

Full wedding including overnight stay. And all my friends are so paired up we are a little li,e Noah's Ark.

It was FAB!

I travelled with a couple so had someone to arrive with. I danced and did girly stuff with the girls. I drank port with the lads. I flirted (just a teeny tiny bit) with the best man.

Go!!!

midastouch · 05/03/2013 23:56

Go.. you never know you might meet somebody! I agree about the +1 no harm in asking?

HairyHandedTrucker · 06/03/2013 00:51

yabu and weddings are a guest way to meet people. go out. mingle.

ZillionChocolate · 06/03/2013 07:13

Yabu for the reasons above.

I think it's definitely worth mentioning it to your old friends. Might be worth checking with the bride if you can share travel with other guests, would be a good way of having some company/splitting the cost.

At weddings I find that there's quite often a gender divide, and past any formal bits women and men tend to separate. I'm sure that your old house mates will be looking forward to you all catching up, rather than talking to their own husband who they see all the time.

Take a deep breath and say you'll go!

Ledkr · 06/03/2013 07:23

This happened to me just after I split with dh. I felt just like you but went and had a lovely time. I hardly knew anyone but got chatting easily especially after a few wines then ended up really enjoying myself.
I wonder if you could as if. Friend could just come for the evening do so you've hot someone to hang out with. You will love it I bet and I've also heard that its a god place to meet a partner.

HollyBerryBush · 06/03/2013 07:28

You can't hide away from other couples forever.

And you never know who you might meet there!

MidnightMasquerader · 06/03/2013 07:36

God knows when I go to a big knees-up like that, DH is not top of my list of people I want to spend the entire evening with!

Do you honestly think your friends are going to be all wrapped up in their husbands ... or looking forward to a good catch up and night out with friends?

You know the answer.

ScumbagCollegeDropout · 06/03/2013 07:41

YABU.

I went to a wedding last year as a single.

I hooked up with the only single bloke

Go have some fun!

fromparistoberlin · 06/03/2013 08:28

what scumbag said!!!!!

rollmopses · 06/03/2013 08:38

Why the agony? Simply tell her that unfortunately you are unable to attend. Why do people feel so obligated to trot from wedding to wedding? Ghastly affairs, most of them.
Apart from family and best friends, one should never have to suffer the tedious proceedings or, worse, the utter vulgarity of such events.

[Grump]

Flip