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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU? Or is my friend?

14 replies

CinderFeckingRella · 05/03/2013 22:33

My main group of friends who I spend a lot of time with consists of seven women.

One of the women in the group is probably like the Queen Bee of the group and generally the one who organises us meeting up. Sometimes she will just invite 2 out of the group, or three etc.

It used to bother me when I didn't get invited and sometimes still does - but I understand in a group of 7 you can't always do something and invite everyone.

On Friday me and two of the girls went out for lunch, I asked them and didn't invite any of the others. It wasn't meant in a malicious way or to purposely leave anyone out.

Anyway, friend found out that we went to lunch and text me to say that she was really hurt that she wasn't invited and when I didn't reply to her text she rang me up to say the same.

We left it where I apologised and explained my reasons were not malicious - but I'm still quite annoyed she did that, as no-one else did.

Was she being unreasonable to have said anything? Or am I being the unreasonable?

OP posts:

MagicHouse · 05/03/2013 22:35

YANBU at all if it's something that she does frequently. She can't really complain if you do the same, and like you say, it's sometimes impractical to include all of you at once.

Bakingtins · 05/03/2013 22:35

YANBU. Only U if you invited 6 of the group and left her out.

NotSoNervous · 05/03/2013 22:36

YANBU if its something she does too

Seabird72 · 05/03/2013 22:37

Could you have invited her? You admit to knowing how hurtful it can be to not be invited but then do the same thing to a friend. To be honest you should be allowed to just meet up with who you want when you want but I think it would have been polite to have at least responded to her text.

IncognitoIsMyFavouriteWord · 05/03/2013 22:37

Seriously I think this is bloody ridiculous.
Its like she didn't invite you for a sleepover so you did the same.

Have a

Original poster

CinderFeckingRella · 05/03/2013 22:39

To be honest you should be allowed to just meet up with who you want when you want but I think it would have been polite to have at least responded to her text.

Sorry I should have said she rang me about 15 minutes after she'd sent the text.

I would have replied - but wasn't sure what to say, hence why I didn't reply straight away.

OP posts:

quesadilla · 05/03/2013 22:41

YANBU. She probably knows that already but feels her Alpha status is being challenged. I would simply have pointed this out if I wre you.

Original poster

CinderFeckingRella · 05/03/2013 22:41

Its like she didn't invite you for a sleepover so you did the same.

No it wasn't a tit for tat thing.

I think in groups you become naturally closer to some more than others. The two I asked are the women I'm closest too and hadn't seen in a while - so asked them out for lunch a couple of days before.

OP posts:

MrsMushroom · 05/03/2013 22:45

Well she's had a taste of her own medicine. YANBU at all!

Turquoiseblue · 05/03/2013 22:45

i think she was/is being a tad unreasonable, she seems to want to dictate who meets with whom, none of her damn business......
just because you know a group of people, there is no hard and fast rule that everyone has to meet at the same time all together..it s small minded and petty... She s obviously threatened.

midastouch · 05/03/2013 22:47

YANBU thats rediculous is she 12??

cerealqueen · 05/03/2013 22:47

YABU to have aplologised - what on earth for, if she does the same thing?

Hassled · 05/03/2013 22:49

The "friend" is being unreasonable. You're adults - you can have lunch with whoever you like. Did you point out that you've been excluded before and have taken it on the chin?

ImperialBlether · 05/03/2013 22:49

I suppose if she's always arranging meetings and then realises others are meeting up and not inviting her, she could be pissed off, but in the end you are an adult, you see who you want to see and so does she.

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