To expect DH to feed 9 year old DS

[wangle99]

DH agreed he'd get himself and DS dinner as I was going out. I normally wouldn't trust him to remember but after a big conversation today which DH said I'm overbearing will never let him do anything etc i was quite happy to let him do this as I wouldn't be home to 'interfere'

Just got home and he said he 'forgot'. DS is 9 wheat/gluten/dairy intolerant and very underweight. He doesn't think of eating and it is important to make sure he eats sufficiently.

I am livid.

Words fail me.

So he fed himself toast but didn't feed ds anything? How selfish, and yes neglect is a word I would use.

What? Is this part of a pattern? What else does he not do because you 'won't let him' and has he got a history of forgetting that too?

Pretty poor to not be able to feed something to a child, really. It's hardly rocket science - even with intolerances, since I would assume you have gluten-free foods in the house as a matter of course for your DS to eat.

Is he using not-so-subtle means to stop you going out? He sounds like a tosser, tbh. Certainly like a useless parent.

Are there other issues? I wonder how overbearing you really are?

Your DH is unfucking believable. Do yourself a favour and LTB. It is neglect and someone who couldn't feed our child but could feed himself would be out on his ear. Selfish selfish bastard.

Conveniently selective memory by the sounds of it. Only I notice your dh didn't forget to feed himself. What an utter cockjuggler.

oh goodness, you got one too?

the children's dad was hopeless at consistently remembering to feed them/give them a drink/clean their teeth/change a nappy/dress them appropriately. (just a baby vest, in winter?) could not make the leap from I am hungry to the children are hungry too.

oh and I got the you are nagging/you can not expect me to remember the first time comments... wanting it both ways.

I shall have to note cockjuggler as a new insult. It made me

Seriously? Leave the bastard. He knows there are health issues, he 'forgets' to feed his DS, then asks a fucking ridiculous question?

LTB. Better for you and your DS.

Wanker.

that is ridiculous. My DD is not keen on food and has only ever said she is hungry three times in her almost 12 years on earth.
My DH would no more think of not feeding her than not feeding himself. The very fact that yours made some toast for himself says it all really.

That's awful.

My only ds is just 8mo but not long after weaning him my DH got up early with him on a Saturday so I could rest and ate breakfast himself without giving ds any baby porridge. I know it's not the same thing but I was even a bit cross about that as DH had been moaning for months that he wanted to feed ds ( he wouldn't take bottles). Here was his chance and he forgot! He hasn't done since.

In your situation I'd be livid. He has had 9 years to get used to being responsible for someone else!

Why don't you only feed yourself and ds this evening, and when dh when dh asks for food just say "what do you expect me to do about it" and that you forgot.

Sorry but I think this must be only a tiny part of your problem. Can you honestly say he is a good husband or father in any way?

I'd put money on the fact that you have real relationship issues. Perhaps you've not realised quite how big until now?

The fact that everybody thinks it's terrible for an adult to remember to feed himself but "forget" to feed his son- especially one that needs to be reminded to eat for his health, should make you look at other things in your relationship. What else have you "been putting up with?" His childish response too raises a massive big red flag.

Please think very carefully about this and how you are going to deal with it. It is not something you can brush under the carpet and make excuses for.

How can you "forget" that a child needs food?

I could understand if it was a teenager and they often sort themselves out if you're not there....but seriously???