Letting the phone ring for ages.

[MrsKoala]

I have a few people in my life (1 friend and my parents, altho Mum is getting better) who call up and let the phone ring and ring for ages. I have a small baby and am often upstairs in the shower or baby napping, and they let it ring and ring. The friend even rings repeatedly every 3 mins or so till i answer. When i do they are indignant if i am annoyed and say something, and I have had responses such as 'fuck you then, i'll never call if i'm such an inconvenience' and then phone slam.

If i call someone and they don't answer within 4-6 rings i hang up.

So aibu to think it's rude to let the phone ring for ages? And can you buy house phones you can mute? I keep my mobile on silent because of them, but they just ring the house phone. It has never once been important btw.

I have spoken to these people numerous times and they are adamant i am being weird.

i think it's really cheap and old. we are moving abroad soon so i'm not investing in a super dooper new one now. but Dad just called. DS is teething been crying all afternoon and i eventually rocked him off, i didn't want to leap up and wake him in my arms and the phone just went on and on grrrr. Dad knows he's teething, i've asked so many times but as usual he just thinks only of his needs...'i want to speak to koala so i will call...how dare she be busy...nothing is more important than me...i'll carry on ringing then tell her how many crocuses are in the front garden, shell love that' aarrrrgh

do i have to pay extra or specially order 1571?

yes building, with dad especially i just get a stream of consciousness of what the dog is doing and what he can see out the window, how lazy my mum is and what housework she HAS to do when she gets in from work (despite him being home all day). utterly bizarre. i think i needed a rant - i feel much better now

Landline phones still have recording facilities , I expect and hope so.
I have mine set for 9 seconds, I think - did it years ago and forgotten how I did it. Also have additional handsets in 2 other roooms, and am in a bungalow so never upstairs.
I did it due to annoying telesales which never talk on the recording.

All family and friends know this, as I'm getting on a bit now and a bit slow at dashing to the phone I listen to who it is and answer if I want to.
Most recordings are left while I am out.

Don't have 1571 so don't know if you pay extra.

Your friend is out of order and plain rude and nasty

PopeBenedict, you are right, it's annoying when it's considered normal for you to be contactable all the time, every second of the day. And 'missed calls' means you have little choice in calling back.

just unplug the phone from the socket when you want some peace. Put mobile on silent and if anyone mentions it, just say phone is playing up and doesn't always ring.

Mine did actually do that at one stage and I couldn't understand why people said they called but no answer when I had been in all the time and the phone hadn't rung once!
Was intermittent so no rhyme or reason as to when

unplug the phone!

Definitely unplug it from the socket, I used to do this when DS was little and I wanted to nap when he did and was always getting stupid sales calls - and the beauty is the person at the other end hears it ring and ring and ring and you hear nothing bliss!

PS your friend sounds like a nightmare, I couldn't have a friendship with so much pressure involved to respond immediately to calls!

This drives me bananas. All it says to me is that the caller believes that their call is so unbelievably important.

Thanks yes i never really thought about unplugging it. it kind of happens more spontaneously tho, like ds falls asleep when we are upstairs and i quickly hop in the shower. I must make a conscious effort to unplug it.

Another thing they do (including MIL) is call on my mobile if my landline is engaged. Then when i answer the mobile they say 'there's something wrong with your landline, i'm just getting an engaged tone' Then i say 'yes, i'm on the phone' and i get a kind of puzzled response of 'well i was trying to get thru'. They all have very Narc traits so cannot comprehend me not knowing they would want to call and be sitting there waiting.

I am at this... Possibly because I haven't had a landline in over 5 years!!

Get rid of your landline

Get rid of your so-called friend

Put your mobile on silent when baby is sleeping

Sorted

Your father is exceptionally rude. You need to tell him his behaviour is not acceptable.

OP if they have Narc traits you DEFINITELY need to get rid of your landline

On most smartphones you can direct certain numbers to always go to voicemail too....

and then the emails...'are you okay? i've called 17 times in the last hour and there's no answer, you must be dead because that's the only possible reason you wouldn't want to hear my story about seeing a cocker spaniel which looked just like our friend barbara'

What I find more annoying is MIL will let it ring ONCE and then hang up. She'll do this over and over and over until we call back, cos she's too tight to pay the cost of the phonecall if we picked up! If you want to call us, let us answer the bloody thing! It's never anything important either. I unplug the phone when it starts and let her waste an hour pissing about.

ooooh that IS even worse youheard! i'd be furious.

It's amazing that you have sooo many people who do this in your life. One or two, maybe... but all of them? Sheesh.

This is precisely the reason I chucked my house phone in the bin. I hate the phone at the best of times. I particularly hated hearing it blaring through the house when we had just settled baby DS, got our DDs to bed and maybe sat down to have half an hour of peace and quiet. Only to answer it to someone phoning 'for a chat'. Infuriated me.
The worst thing though, was between the hours of 5-7, you know, the time when you have young children that you are usually cooking tea, collecting from clubs, rushing back from supermarket, overseeing homework, bath time, bed time, a combination of any/all. It did always tend to be childless friends calling or people with older children calling. And they couldn't understand why I didn't have time to answer the phone and chat for half an hour.
Binned the phone and now only answer my mobile when I feel like it.

yes, i was very bad in a past life apparently kinky. my family is narctastic. some of the tales i could tell are hilarious/ludicrous. my friend is a self absorbed alcoholic so finds it hard to believe anyone doesn't want to either hear his up or down. i use my phone to distance myself and regain control on my terms.

I hate the phone (if you don't know this about me, the chances of me wanting to speak to you are slender to nil), my DM doesn't like some people ringing her, DSis doesn't like her baby woken/work interrupted by the phone.

So, I have caller display and decide if I want to answer, DM has fairly short ring before answerphone kicks in and I let her know it's just me (she either picks up or rings back), if I ring DSis I leave 3 rings and put down so she can decide whether/when to call back.

We use email a lot, especially if it's a three way conversation.

Regular callers I almost never answer to include DP and DSS family (I am not their secretary), International and Unavailable numbers, and one or two others.

DP has bought me a mobile for emergencies, I've used it once when out with DSis so she would know the number if we lost each other. I've had it 18 months! The only call ever received on it was a wrong number (not counting Vodaphone texting me how much I could save by topping up my credit).

I answer my phone if and when i feel like it, i hate how available we are all expected to be nowadays!!!