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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed off at DH re: DDs lost comforter

45 replies

BlackMaryJanes · 02/03/2013 19:21

DD has a Miffy figure that she absolutely adores. It is very rare (was mine when I was a child) and thus, irreplaceable. Consequently, I never let DD take it out of the house. This has never been an issue. She plays with it constantly in the house and when it's time to go out I remove Miffy then distract her.

DH (who knows that Miffy is rare and how important it is to DD) let her take Miffy out with the inlaws for the day - and they fucking lost Miffy. FFS I am fuming and feel quite upset. Now DH is all: "You're overreacting and spoiling the weekend". Fuck him. He's not the one who has to deal with the consequences of this 24/7, I however (as a SAHM) will have to deal with the tantrums and crying.

OP posts:

NorthernLurker · 02/03/2013 19:52

Toys get lost when people take them out of the house when they're not supposed to! I'm with the OP

PoppyWearer · 02/03/2013 19:55

YANBU, I was paranoid about losing DC1's comforter when she was little. He should have known better!

I hope a MNer can help you with a replacement.

FBmum · 02/03/2013 19:55

this is closer, but has a different colour top on. Not the same as having the original back though, I know...

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Kawaii-Hawaii-Costume-Miffy-Bunny-Dick-Bruna-squishy-Super-Rare-/190805680809?pt=UK_Toys_Creative_Educational_RL&hash=item2c6ce7a2a9

Original poster

BlackMaryJanes · 02/03/2013 19:58

Thanks everyone. I'm going to 'make' DH buy one of those replacements!

OP posts:

MrsDimples · 02/03/2013 20:02

Well Done FBmum I saw that one too, but couldn't get a link.

KatyTheCleaningLady · 02/03/2013 20:13

Have you tried Twitter? If you can find a photo that looks like the one you lost, I will tweet it and ask if anyone found it in that area. People will Re-tweet it and it may be found! I've heard of luvvies being reunited with their tots that way, before.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/03/2013 20:18

The OP posted a link a bit further up the thread, Katy - and tweeting it sou ds like a lovely idea. I hope Miffy is found.

I don't blame you for being cross, though - Miffy wouldn't have got lost if your dh hadn't let your dd take her out of the house - to the in-laws was bad enough, but out to the park?

autumnmum · 02/03/2013 20:22

When our DD was 18m my DH took her out for a walk in the pushchair with "Mabel with the label" even though he knew Mabel wasn't to leave the house as DD wouldn't go to sleep without her. DD dropped her, DH didn't notice till he got home. We live in a small village and he immediately retraced his steps but we never got her back (she was about 30cm tall so not easily lost). ELC no longer sold the same doll so I bought two of the nearest match. DD was distraught for about 24 hours and now eight years later still sleeps (with the rather tatty and smelly) replacement. The number 2 I bought for a spare has never been used and we often compare how vile the one she sleeps with with the one that is still box fresh. I feel your pain!

Toadinthehole · 02/03/2013 20:29

YABU. He made a mistake. Everyone does. This stuff happens.

Hardly fair to criticise his reaction when we aren't told what she said to him.

larks35 · 02/03/2013 20:30

I/DS lost my DS's favourite teddy when he was about 2 and I spent 4 times the amount I'd paid for the original replacing it on Ebay. We then lost it again and he quickly agreed that doggy was a suitable replacement. I do think that we as mothers place a little more importance on comforters than our children do! I can understand if you are upset at losing your old comforter but I think your DD will quickly get over the loss if you encourage her to do so.

sarahtigh · 02/03/2013 20:31

my DD has a small cat called "cat" imaginative I know but my DH though not that domesticated knows that the whereabouts of "cat" IS of paramount importance

it got dropped once in a layby sort of fell off car seat while shutting door I think, he volunteeered to drive the 40 mile round trip to look for cat, thankfully DD was asleep so got it into plastic bag and washing machine as very muddy beforre she woke

your DH is unreasonable to a.) not understand importance of Miffy b.) that miffy needs to be looked for c.) that losing miffy will cause upset and he should have checked miffy was with him before leaving

cat is now only allowed at home when we go out he has to stay in car seat to look after it and keep seat warm, she did have him in nursery bag when she first started though

Bluemonkeyspots · 02/03/2013 21:02

I totally understand and would be livid if dh lost dd's blankie.

She is to put it mildly a handful and sometimes we do have to take blankie out the house with us incase we need it.

Think it would be sentimental reasons for me though, it has been on holiday with us the last few years and I often catch her midday sneaking into her room to give it a quick sniff.

Twattybollocks · 02/03/2013 21:39

Yanbu to be annoyed. After Rescuing my daughters beloved moth eaten remnant of a teddy bear from a restaurant in florida the night before we flew home, I feel your pain. The teddy is now grounded permanently!

Sirzy · 02/03/2013 21:44

YANBU. Especially with it being quite small the keeping it in the house rule makes sense. DS is attached to a blanket and a dinosaur both of which would be pretty easy to replace but even so they never go further the house or car unless we are going into hospital or on holiday.

apostropheuse · 02/03/2013 21:45

yanbu to be a little annoyed that he took the for-home-only toy out of the house, but it's just a toy. It's really not worth getting worked up over.

Really serious things happen in life, things that matter.

I think you need to get things into perspective.

aldiwhore · 02/03/2013 21:56

YANBU for being annoyed.

Your DH INBU for thinking that it's only a toy.

I try not to encourage getting attached to 'stuff' (or rather, it's always JUST STUFF even if my kids love it) so I don't really 'get' the whole blankey/comforter thing, made easier by the fact my boys didn't really have anything like it. CERTAINLY nothing rare, that couldn't be replaced easily.

Saying that, I am not everyone. Yes, DH should replace it, purely because he was 'parent in charge' when it got lost.

AnameIcouldnotthinkof · 02/03/2013 22:04

YANBU to be annoyed that he took miffy out of the house.
When my DD was 4, DH took her to the park with bunny. DD fell asleep towards the end of the day and they left without bunny. When he got home and I asked him where bunny was he drove back and spent the whole night looking and he couldn't find it.
DD was upset when she woke up and DH felt horrid. The bunny was made half way across the country in a special shop that had closed down shortly after we bought it.
Tow days later as I was walking the dog through the park the lady who lived across the road ran towards me with bunny. She had seen DH and DD playing with him during the day and when she when out she saw that bunny had been left behind and she had taken him in.

DD was over the moon to have him back. Bunny stayed at home from then on, and my other DCs have had the same rule for their toys.

I imagine that your DD would get over it at somepoint. But Miffy was yours too so I can understand why you are upset.
Hope you find Miffy or and Miffy replacement.

Original poster

BlackMaryJanes · 03/03/2013 10:15

The first thing DD said when she woke up this morning was "Where's Miffy?" :( Now she's looking around for it.

OP posts:

countrykitten · 03/03/2013 10:53

Ebay.

TheEndTisHere · 03/03/2013 11:49

Miffy has gone on holiday and will be back soon. That will explain all sorts of if she turns up in different clothes and slightly different.

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