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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have defended myself?

15 replies

wedwose · 02/03/2013 17:12

I just passed someone in street who muttered loudly "an excuse me would be nice...". She was with 2 friends, they were all walking slowly and she was limping slightly. I had only just come up behind them and as I was walking at a normal pace it was natural for me to pass them on one side which I did. It was either that or slow right down and be right behind them which in the event I don't think they'd have liked either. I've had times in my life when I've been less than mobile so I realise how important it is to give people room and to be thoughtful if you're more mobile and I left plenty of room to ensure I didn't bump into her. In the circumstances I thought her muttering was more than a bit off and her friends sniggered and it was clear that as it was 3 against 1 they didn't think I'd say anything. But I decided to point out that, yes, I'd passed her but I'd left plenty of room. After a pause she said "yeah, but you didn't have to act like you were going in the bushes to get past me." Hmmm. So her complaint was in fact that I had given her TOO MUCH room. At this point the other woman with her started to swear at me even though I'd already shrugged and moved off, the young man with them just looked a bit embarrassed. It was all over in a few seconds but AIBU to have stood up for myself?

OP posts:

Murphy0510 · 02/03/2013 17:13

YANBU but they sound like trouble making scummy twats

Nittynana · 02/03/2013 17:14

You just can't please everyone.

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 02/03/2013 17:15

YANBU - she sounds like she had an attitude problem tbh. Do be careful in future though in case it escalates in to something violent. There are some really nasty and aggresive people out there who use opportunities like this to start a fight.

Original poster

wedwose · 02/03/2013 17:50

I thought as much. [Smile]

OP posts:

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 02/03/2013 19:00

I was in a hurry once to find Ds and DH in a large store so was rushing round, said excuse me to some people and went past them and the bloke says in a nasty voice 'oh someone's in a hurry' I stopped turned round and said 'yes actually I am, I said excuse me , is there something else I should have done?' he shut up and went red

GW297 · 02/03/2013 19:14

YANBU. I hate it when people do things like this. I find it upsetting and unnecessary.

Poppet48 · 02/03/2013 19:16

YANBU, Pathetic trouble making people.

xigris · 02/03/2013 19:21

I don't think YBU to be pissed off annoyed at these girls' attitude: they sound rude and ignorant to me. But I think you were sensible to leave the situation when you did. A couple of years ago, a man was fatally stabbed in Crystal Palace for asking someone to pick up the litter they'd thrown on the pavement. Sadly, it's just not worth the risk

HollaAtMeBaby · 02/03/2013 20:04

YANBU! I am quite mouthy and tend not to let these things go - some people seem to enjoy intimidating others/starting trouble and I think it's important to give as good as you get, otherwise they win! Had something similar happen recently when I overtook a weeble-shaped Jeremy Kyle woman and her teenage daughter going up an escalator - I said excuse me as I passed the daughter, then the woman yelled after me for not having immediately said it again to her! so I said "oh, I'm so sorry... SORRY YOU'RE NOT FIT ENOUGH TO CLIMB THE STAIRS" then stalked off. I am quite big and feisty though and the woman was very fat so couldn't have caught me if I'd had to run away from her

TheFallenNinja · 02/03/2013 20:11

YANBU. This is exactly the culture of fear these scumbags try to create.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 02/03/2013 20:11

I'm feisty too but would probably try and avoid confrontation with scary strangers for fear of being stabbed or followed and then murdered

BlackholesAndRevelations · 02/03/2013 20:12

Oh but I can't keep my mouth shut sometimes, so no YANBU.

DrRanj · 02/03/2013 20:23

Yanbu. Once I was walking through a door and I saw that a few paces behind me was a woman in a mobility scooter with an able bodied companion. So I waited and held the door, the friend approached and I thought had taken the task of holding the door of off me iyswim so I smiled and went on my way...

Then I heard the (able bodied) woman shout "omg, she just let the door go - how rude" etc etc. so the able bodied lady had clearly just ducked through the door herself and expected me to hold the door while they both went through, but I didn't realise, it looked like she was going to hold it...

I didn't say anything just scurried off red faced as I felt perhaps I was in the wrong, but when I thought about it I was the one who had waited there for a good few seconds when I was in a hurry, if iwas that selfish I wouldn't have bothered!

By the time I had realised she was talking about me it was too late for me to go back an apologise for the misunderstanding, but it did upset me as I generally try quite hard to have good manners and be courteous.

Toadinthehole · 02/03/2013 20:39

YANBU.

So clearly yanbu on the facts given that it's hardly necessary to ask.

Original poster

wedwose · 02/03/2013 22:09

I hadn't done anything wrong, she was in the wrong. It was fairly minor and often people on here say suck it up, no biggy, nut I hate feeling that perhaps I shouldnt have said anything in case they turned on me. It's bullying and it is what stops better people than me speak out agsinst much worse things, that fear maybe I shouldn't say anything, what if I get stabbed/beaten up....

OP posts:

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