Upset with a family member - sorry - long post.

[Phoebe47]

I am feeling very upset with my younger sister. Maybe I am being unreasonable but I feel I have good reason to be upset. My niece will be ten in four days time and I have sent her a card and some presents. She is the daughter of my older sister not the sister I am upset with. My older sister and her family have just moved house and I do not have their new address yet as all my family live in another country (within the UK) and they are not good at keeping in touch. I am the one who makes the effort to do so as I am the one who moved away. My younger sister lives near to them and knows their address but will not tell me it as she says it is not her place to do so and my other sister will be sending out change of address cards soon - but not in time for me to get the birthday present to my niece. So I asked if I could send the present to my younger sister's house as she will be visiting my older sister on niece's birthday. She said yes that was fine so I wrapped everything up and sent it off. Today I phoned her to see if the parcel had arrived and she told me yes and the presents were gorgeous and niece would love them. I was a bit bewildered by this and asked her how she knew what the presents were and she admitted she had opened the parcel and unwrapped the presents. I asked her why she had done this and she said it was because she was not expecting a parcel so she looked to see what it was. This was a lie as she did know what the parcel was as I had phoned her to say it was on its way. I asked if the parcel had been damaged in any way thinking that might be why she had opened it but she said no it was fine. The parcel was very clearly marked to my niece, had my sister's address on it and she knew it was coming. She had just opened it because she wanted to look at the presents. I asked her to re-wrap the presents and put new gift labels on but she said she didn't think it was necessary and she would put the presents in a carrier bag and tell my niece who they are from. I am so annoyed with her and very upset. Maybe I am just being unreasonable and I will have to let it go anyway as I don't want to fall out with my family but I am really fed up with her.

Could you not have rang older sister and asked her for her address?
Doesn't sound like YABU though, it's very rude to unwrap her nieces present, and odd behaviour to not give you the address.

why on EARTH would she not pass on the address?

she sounds very odd indeed, I would not be impressed at this. In fact, are you sure she isn't planning to pass the gifts off as her gifts?

I'd ring you older sister and tell her that you have sent your DN's presents to your younger sister and tell her what you've sent just in case your younger sister decides to try and claim credit for any of them.

x post

I would be livid.

But why on earth couldn't you just ask older sister directly for her address.

That's awful.
But like the others have said, why didn't you cpntact your dsis directly?

Thanks everyone. My older sister is changing her telephone provider and has not got either a phone or a number as yet. She has a mobile but it never seems to be switched on. I have sent her a text to her mobile though so am awaiting a reply. I am not at all well myself at the moment so a bit vulnerable which has made me even more upset about this. My DH has told me to let it go and just keep communication with my sister to a minimum and not get stressed about it. He was very definite about what he thought of my sis though - could not possible repeat it on here! Your supportive replies have made me feel better. What lovely people on mumsnet.