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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell you about my accidental shoplifting and ask - has it happened to you??

137 replies

Spice17 · 01/03/2013 10:54

Mortifying and please no flaming, this was 100% accidental.

Shopping with DM, her DH and my DD in her buggy yesterday and we're sharing a basket, I plonk loads of baby essentials in it and then wander off to get some toothpaste, leaving them looking at crockery. Anyway, I chat to a friend I know on the till next to the one I'm paying at and leave.

An hour later, I go to top up the car parking and find the toothpaste in my bag! Can only asume I absentmindedly chucked it in the bag as I had it over my arm as you would a basket. Imagine if someone pulled me aside, I genuinely would have had no idea and they would have been thinking 'heard that one before Darlin'.

There's another one too can you tell I'm ridiculously 'Miranda' in my general uselessness!

On my lunchbreak a few years back, popped into a clothes shop, when I got back to work, a size 8 sequinned playsuit was attached to my bag by the hanger. The odd thing was, not only did no one stop me in the shop but I walked all along the high street and no one batted an eyelid. I took that one back but it was extremely embarrasing and the shop assistant was looking at me like I was a little bit loopy.

Please share, I feel like a total klutz!

OP posts:

LaalRatty · 01/03/2013 11:23

Not the same but this reminded me. I'd just given birth to dd2. Someone had bought me a gift from John Lewis but it was faulty. dh took it back as he had stuff to do anyway and said he'd do it all at once. A few hour later he came back and I noticed that he had a pair of my huge belly warming frayed and ragged (complete with slightly bleached crotch) maternity knickers stuck to the back of his fleece. :o

ClutchingPearls · 01/03/2013 11:26

I, while heavily pregnant, placed a barney DVD into the buggy hood in woolworths, forgot about it. It was only after DD2 was born and I used the buggy again that I saw it, 3 months after they had closed.

In my newborn haze I convinced myself that my £2.99 theft was responsible for the woolies collapse.

I couldn't return it, and wouldn't let DD1 watch a stolen DVD, so sent it straight to the charity bag. Still have a tiny bit of guilt that someone, somewhere has a stolen DVD.

WannabeWilloughby · 01/03/2013 11:28

at Laal.... thats brilliant! poor dh

LaalRatty · 01/03/2013 11:32

He got a lot of stares. I'm sure if he'd nipped into Asda someone would've told him. John Lewis customers let him walk around looking daft.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 01/03/2013 11:34

I like this thread.

I work in a library that has all sorts of fancy sensors to stop you walking out with the books - it's a non-borrowing library and some of these books are worth well into three figures.

I managed to walk out with six.

I did give them back though. And I know someone who claims he has walked out with a priceless fourteenth-century manuscript, too. He also gave it back.

On a more mundane level, I had brain-melt in the supermarket one time, and ended up calmly popping a couple of painkillers out of the pack, swallowing them, and putting the pack back. I don't know what I was thinking, it was only when I was putting my shopping away I realized I'd done it and it must've been on the CCTV but no-one had stopped me.

And I didn't go back because I was 19 and too embarrassed.

rainbow2000 · 01/03/2013 11:37

I was outt a few weeks ago with ds5,he was in his pram and i was in the butchers.
Went to fruit n veg shop and halfway home i happened to look at him and he had a packet of salmon in his hhand.

It was to far to go back wiht but ds1 said it was very nice.

Sparklingbrook · 01/03/2013 11:39

6 Milky Ways from Asda. They went through the checkout under my bags for life in the trolley.

I have become a huge fan of Tesco Scan and Shop but I live in fear of not scanning something because I am away with the fairies.

WilsonFrickett · 01/03/2013 11:39

LRD that really made me laugh, especially putting the pack back!

I once was in a high-end department store looking for a bra and the lady at the changing rooms was very frosty (If modom wanted a fitting perhaps modom would have preferred to telephone in advance). So I tried on a handful of bras and decided not to hang them all back on their hangers as I normally would, because I was cross with the caah.

Of course, I got home and the most expensive one had fallen off into my other shopping .

But because it didn't fit, I posted it back.

NannyPhlegm · 01/03/2013 11:42

Here we go.

DH and I, out on our first date...lunch in a lovely little artisan cafe in town. Had a gorgeous meal, talked for ages, pleasant time being had by all. Two hours later, we got up to leave, still deep in conversation...put on our coats, collected our bags, and walked out, still talking. When we reached the car park, I thanked him for the meal, and thought it was strange reaction when his face turned puce. It was only then that it dawned on me that neither of us had paid, or even asked for the bill. We walked back shamefaced to pay up. I don't think the cafe owner believed that it was a honest mistake. We were too embarrassed to ever go back

Purple2012 · 01/03/2013 11:43

I used the self service at the co-op. I was halfway across the car park when I realised I hadn't paid. I went back and said I think I forgot to pay for this. The lady behind me at the till wondered why her bar of chocolate cost over £9

Spoonful · 01/03/2013 11:46

I have done it too. Saw toilet rolls were 1/3 of normal price so I put some under the pram as I only had a little basket. Went to pay, went home.
Only remembered the toilet rolls the next week when I went to set off to baby group. I didn't go back!

IsItMeOr · 01/03/2013 11:52

No story of my own to share, but some funny ones here. And do go some way to explain LRD those partly opened packets of things you sometimes see in supermarkets, which always make me wonder what had happened. Now I know - it was MNers (and their offspring).

Seabright · 01/03/2013 11:54

Just to set all of your minds at rest, to commit theft you have to have two elements:

Actus reus - the act of taking the item
Men's reus - the intention of permantly depriving a person/corporate body of the item

So, if you take something without intending to, there is no crime, as you had no intention to permanently deprive.

LaalRatty · 01/03/2013 11:54

Nanny the owner should have been grateful tbh. You went back and paid. What more could you have done?

kimorama · 01/03/2013 11:56

It happens. I once took a carton of milk accidentally

NannyPhlegm · 01/03/2013 11:59

I'm glad you said that LaalRatty. I always felt that too. But the owner was really very curt to us. We were shamefaced to start with, and started babbling to fill the silence, and he didn't say one word to put us at ease.
DH and I still talk about that day, and it the memory still makes me uncomfortable

Fakebook · 01/03/2013 11:59

I once "stole" a massive roll of painting paper from toys r us and some hair clips from M&S. I went back and paid for them both next time I was in the area.

JennyPiccolo · 01/03/2013 12:07

I seem to have done this loads of times. I accidentally nicked a signed terry pratchett book (hardback!) from borders about a million years ago. Waited about 3 hours to get it signed and was so relieved to get out of the queue I forgot I still had to pay for it.

Sparklingbrook · 01/03/2013 12:12

We were in the Blue Planet Aquarium DS2 was a toddler, sat on DH's shoulders. As we exited the gift shop an member of staff dashed after us. DS2 had helped himself to a fishy mobile off the ceiling.

LaalRatty · 01/03/2013 12:13

I know how it feels tbh. I once found loads of little items pushed under the buggy seat (ds had clearly been helping himself at the till) and when I took it back there was no word of thanks, no smiles nothing. In fact when I decided to have another browse she (girl on the till) was watching me closely. I wished I'd kept all 5 mascaras and various tins of vaseline.

LulaPalooza · 01/03/2013 12:30

Seabright that's not quite correct.

The definition of theft at Section 1(1) of the Theft Act 1968 is
"A person is guilty of theft if he dishonestly appropriates property belonging to another with the intention of permanently depriving the other of it"

The actus reus is the taking of the property and not giving it back and the mens rea is the dishonesty and intention.

So, you/ your DC could pick something up by accident and take it home but if you then discover it and then do not take it back then technically you are guilty of theft because the dishonest appropriation comes at the point you discover it is in your possession and choose not to take it back.

Having said that, I doubt whether the CPS would worry about prosecuting most people for a pack of chewing gum/ minor items.

IneedAsockamnesty · 01/03/2013 12:35

I've never understood the suspicion shop staff have towards people who return accidentally liberated items.

Surly very few real shop lifters who don't get caught have future conscience attacks and return the ill gotten gains unused.

Once when I had a mega headache I went in boots picked up paracetamol and a bottle of water,I took the tablets at the counter after paying.

About an hour later glanced at the receipt to see I hadn't paid for the water so went back and paid the assistant was weird with me then gave me a tenner to much in my change so I tried to hand her the tenner back whilst saying she had made a mistake, only to be informed loudly that I was trying it on she didn't make mistakes and she was fed up with dishonest customers.

Novemberish · 01/03/2013 12:41

Nanny, I had a similar situation of forgetting to pay in a quite upmarket cafe/bistro. I admit my friend and I made the mistake in the first instance but when I noticed and went back to pay (plus tip) I was breathless and giddy with apolies and reassurances that I have never done anything like this before and was so mortified... the staff were very curt and got the very stern manager out to give me a good talking to. Felt like I was 5 years old.

Back when I was probably little more than 5 years old, my mum had gotten a job in a well known department store and when out shopping on one of her first days off had popped in to show me off chat to her colleagues. A little while later, walking through town she suddenly burst into tears at the realisation there was an item of clothing on a hanger attached to the belt of her coat. She was terrified she would be sacked from her first proper job and hysterical at the thought of going back. I was hysterical also at seeing my mum in this state for the first time. What I really remember about the day however is that her colleagues were lovely and took pity on such an easy mistake and so we got to have biscuits in the managers lounge while we both calmed down .

Beamur · 01/03/2013 12:45

My DP has driven off without paying for fuel! He got pulled over by the Police who were very nice to him, as was the garage owner - it was clear it was a mistake. Apparently the chap in the garage watched him fill up, then DP stared into space for a bit, faffed about, got back in the car and drove off. The Police escorted him back to the garage, he paid the bill and all was well.
I accidentally nicked something from B&Q a while ago by putting two items together by mistake through the self check out. I was mortified when I got home and realised. It must happen a lot of those kinds of tills.

dothraki · 01/03/2013 12:46

As a teenager my siblings and I used to have a kitty and get the allthe presents out of that. I went to Lewis's and bought 5 board games. The assistant packed them all up. When I got home I was just sorting out how much I had spent...........shock horror - I'd only been charged for 4 games. I wasn't going to travel 8 miles back to the shop - I can't remember what I did with the money - but I think my mum probably told me to give it to charity

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