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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel alarm bells ringing when dd told me about a game her friends play

22 replies

PrincessScrumpy · 28/02/2013 20:57

dd had just turned 5 and is in reception. Today she said she had a bit of a head ache as 2 girls in her class were playing a game and she didn't want to party but they screamed a lot during the game. I was driving and innocently asked what game they were playing (just conversation) and she said, a game where the pretend man tries to kiss your bum and you rub and scream. she then went on to say they play it all the tine and keep asking her to play but she doesn't want to.

I'm really uncomfortable with this. I know children are fascinated with bums but the kissing bit is weird... Isn't it?

Do I raise it with dd's teacher?

OP posts:

Original poster

PrincessScrumpy · 28/02/2013 20:57

Run not rub!

OP posts:

littlemisssunny · 28/02/2013 21:00

Hmmm, I know kids think bums are funny and say silly things, but it wouldn't do any harm to mention it to the teacher so they are aware, probably innocent and kids do have strange imaginations!

Mollydoggerson · 28/02/2013 21:00

That's a very strange one, yes I think I might mention it.

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 28/02/2013 21:06

I'd certainly check this out...

drivingmisspotty · 28/02/2013 21:09

I'd mention it too I think. But wonder if one of their mums has been trying to protect them. 'if a man ever tries to touch/kiss your bum run away and scream.' Not the way I would put it, admittedly.

highlandcoo · 28/02/2013 21:10

Yes, definitely mention to the teacher.

This is only one incident but if other questionable stuff arises the school will be aware of this as part of the picture.

I had to go in and talk about something similar and they noted it just in case.

TattyDevine · 28/02/2013 21:18

It might be weird, but then it might be that someone's given one of them a pep talk saying nobody is ever allowed to touch you or kiss you anywhere you don't want them to, and if they try to you run and scream or tell someone or whatever so in actual fact it might be perfectly innocent. But if you are really uncomfy with it you could mention it to the teacher and she could brief the midday assistants and keep an eye out generally for any safeguarding issues.

PleasePudding · 28/02/2013 21:20

I'm so worried about this because I have a son who is in reception and he's started kissing bottoms.

I thought it is was because I love their bottoms - still at 3 and 4 I think their bottoms are so beautiful and perfect and sometimes pat them and say lovely bottom. (while they are dressed). I worry that I shouldn't have done this as my poor boy now has no idea that it's not appropriate. I don't want him to be thought of as weird because of me loving their bottoms. God I sound obsessed, Im not at all really, just constantly amazed by their perfection - all of them, not just the bottom.

have told him not to pat anyone's bottom at school it bottom kiss - which actually isn't something I do but he just looks really confused. I then had the whole don't touch someone in bottom or between legs chat but don't think I dealt well with it.

PleasePudding · 28/02/2013 21:23

Sorry I just wanted to clarify that the 'they' are my two DC.

PleasePudding · 01/03/2013 00:53

Oh god no one has a similar experience

BiBiBroccoli · 01/03/2013 01:02

Lol PleasePudding - I can sense you freaking out through my screen

My littlest is bottom obsessed and last week got his willy out in the playground - that was a fun conversation with his teacher! I think lots of reception aged children go through this phase and usually it's just silliness. Mention it to the teacher if it's worrying you and chat to DD about what is private etc but it's probably nothing.

LittleEdie · 01/03/2013 01:07

Me and my friends played some games (in the '70s) that would ring alarm bells if my DD described them to me.

But yes, of course YANBU.

LittleEdie · 01/03/2013 01:12

PleasePudding It's normal to think small children's bottoms are adorable. Please don't feel bothered by that. My DD is 4.5 and I'm just starting to have the 'don't show your pants to anyone but parents and grandparents' conversations. There's bound to be a transitional time.

MrsSham · 01/03/2013 01:21

I think like others have said maybe a prep talk taken very literally by the dcs rather than any indicators of abuse. I think the star angle man and run and scream indicates that as sadly most children who are abused are not abused by a strange man where they will run and scream as many small children are abused by familiar adults.

MrsSham · 01/03/2013 01:21

Strange not star angle grrr darn auto correct.

MrsSham · 01/03/2013 01:22

I would talk teacher though so she can maybe keep an eye out and nip n the bud

PleasePudding · 01/03/2013 07:57

Thanks Bibi and LittleEddie, that's massively reassuring! I hope the teacher was understanding Bibi about the willy thing?

I vaguely remember one of my school friends showing me (unasked) his willy when we were at school, it was standing up and he started batting it down going "I hate it when it does that" I found the whole thing quite interesting at the time.

pigletmania · 01/03/2013 08:12

Yes definitely tell the teacher, this is happening quite often so there could be concerns with those children

Cyclebump · 01/03/2013 08:19

Just checking in to say to Pease... My DS is 23 months and has the most adorable squidgy bottom ever. I blow raspberries on it (after bath time only, when it's clean!) and never stop marvelling at its perfection. My mum was exactly the same with me and my sisters.

Little bottoms are gorgeous!

SPBInDisguise · 01/03/2013 08:22

Please I am also obsessed by my DCs' lovely bums. I definitely still kiss 3yo DD's. Don't think I kiss 6yo DS's any more :( but not 100% sure. Defintiely normal!

fromparistoberlin · 01/03/2013 08:26

yes, its a bit dodge

sigh, I so hope that none of her friends are experiencing abuse?

doctorhamster · 01/03/2013 10:14

I kiss my 3yo's bum its just so lovely and squidgy!

I would mention to the teacher, although its probably nothing to worry about.

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