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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am i asking to much from mum?

19 replies

vicki2122 · 28/02/2013 19:29

Am i asking to much from my mum to move out of home and in with my dp i have looked after my sis for 10 years im 27 28 this year and my sister is 10 and now i have told her im leaving home she dont like it and she dont want to talk to me about it is it my fault?

OP posts:
lurkedtoolong · 28/02/2013 19:33

Don't ask, just do it.

CognitiveOverload · 28/02/2013 19:35

Just do it. You have a life to live.

SkinnybitchWannabe · 28/02/2013 19:38

Go for it. You only get one life so do what you want.
Good luck

Original poster
vicki2122 · 28/02/2013 19:39

I no but i dont wanna just walk out and mum think i have just left her? I need to be selfish really and think of myself?

OP posts:
yellowbrickrd · 28/02/2013 19:43

When you say 'looked after' your sis how do you mean? Babysitting and making tea or more substantial care? Is there some reason your Mum can't cope? Whatever the reason you are entitled to your own life and independence and your Mum would be unreasonable to try to guilt you into staying.

prettywhiteguitar · 28/02/2013 19:44

Can you organise some help for her ? To ease the situation ? You need to live your own life

Original poster
vicki2122 · 28/02/2013 19:45

I did everything fot my sister tea bathing taking and pickin up from school and while im at home i do washing iriong and tidying up

OP posts:
HoHoHoNoYouDont · 28/02/2013 19:50

Why did you do everything? Was your mum unable to for some reason? Perhaps a disability?

Original poster
vicki2122 · 28/02/2013 19:51

No she goes to work and works alot

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 28/02/2013 19:55

YANBU.

Will it cost you more money to live with your DP?

Who will look after your Dsis?

Your DM doesn't want to talk about it becuase she knows you are ripe and ready to leave, but will leave her in the lurch regarding care for your Dsis.

Can you find a compremise, such as you still look after your Dsis at certian times. (I imagine she will miss you very much if you just walk out of her life).

JengaBlock · 28/02/2013 19:56

Can you organise some help for her ? To ease the situation ? You need to live your own life

^ this. You need to speak with her. How long was she expecting you to look after your sister for her? It isn't really fair on you.

Original poster
vicki2122 · 28/02/2013 19:57

I dont mind looking after my sister at times but she doesn't want to talk to me about it?

OP posts:
Original poster
vicki2122 · 28/02/2013 19:58

I wish my mum would just be happy im leaving my life? But shes not?

OP posts:
HecateWhoopass · 28/02/2013 20:02

Because you do so much, that's why. And if you are not there, she will have to do it herself or pay someone to do it.

With the best will in the world - that is not your problem.

Are you to remain in the house, doing all those things, until you are given permission to leave? When? When your sister leaves home?

No. You are going to have to be ok with her being cross.

Leave. Make your own life. She will have to adjust.

You don't need to talk about anything. You don't need permission and you don't need approval.

You simply need to pack.

ilovesooty · 28/02/2013 20:05

Well said Hecate

Just get on with your life. You aren't your mother's unpaid servant.

Original poster
vicki2122 · 28/02/2013 20:07

I have been packing my stuff already cos im going soon but do i leave her a note to say i have gone?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 28/02/2013 20:09

FFS. Just GO!!!! Good luck. Wink

lollilou · 28/02/2013 20:13

If she won't talk to you then you could leave her a note. Explain why you are leaving, give her a contact number, tell her you love her and go.
Good luck in your new life.Smile

Original poster
vicki2122 · 28/02/2013 20:16

Thank u for your advice

OP posts:
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