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AIBU?

to think the police need to be occupied by more serious crimes

81 replies

LittleTurtle · 28/02/2013 16:05

Ok, so a while ago, a very close ex colleauge of mine told me that he was on his way, drunk from a party and saw a 'hooker' and curiosly asked her 'how much for a blow job' This is a popular hooker street. The girls said ' No I'm not a hooker, he ashamedly, profusely apolosised. So he walked on and three policemen, undercover came to him and handcuffed him for lewd behaviour etc. The took him to the police station and said he had a caution and took his fingerprints etc. though they say said his parents would no tnow about etc now is he is worried that he is a sex offender.

What worries me the most was that at the time he told me, I got a hit and run while 8 months pregnant. I crossed at a lights and some angry guy came rushing towards me even though the rules cleary state to not harrass someone already crossing lights. I was too shocked to take the full number plates and had a partial and a sign on his car. I then filled in a police report and was told because I did not have the full registration they could do nothing. But the next lights had a camera and I gave them the exact time I got hit and what time they coud see him in the previous and next camera. .

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LittleTurtle · 01/03/2013 16:58

The man was turning right at the light, I had every right to cross at the time because the cars had stopped on my side, the cars coming to my right were going straight. The guy just exhalarated as soon as he had a chance to turn and cut a corner as he did - did not stick to his own lane, thereby breaking atleast 3 rules.

So you think the fact that I did not die and was merely bruised is nothing?

What I am saying however, is that I was accepting of the fact that my case was minor because I did not actually die, just annoyed that the police did not take the time out to investigate properly, when I thought they were investigating murder or something.

Do I think a man insulting a lady on the street and apologising for it is less of a crime than someone trying to run someone over? yes I do. Do I think someone dying or getting raped is more of a crime than what happened to me? Yes I do.

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squeakytoy · 01/03/2013 17:02

I am still confused, but it does sound like you were crossing when you shouldnt have been. Was there a green light showing that it was safe for pedestrians to cross or not?

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squeakytoy · 01/03/2013 17:03

And yes, it is lucky that you were not more seriously injured, but if you were crossing the road when you shouldnt have been, then it really is not the fault of the car driver.

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LRDtheFeministDragon · 01/03/2013 17:05

I'm not sure I would describe propositioning someone for sex as 'a man insulting a lady', even if I used words like 'lady'.

It does come across rather unpleasantly as if you think him buying sex would be absolutely fine if only she'd been a hooker, not a 'lady'. And while legally you are correct it's not a crime to pay for sex, it is pretty disgusting to proposition women in the hope of getting it. I am glad he was caught out.

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ThreeWheelsGood · 01/03/2013 17:19

Why on earth are you defending your colleague's behaviour OP? And why are you connecting that event with what happened to you, they have nothing to do with each other? YABU as everyone has already said.

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Buzzardbird · 01/03/2013 17:22

I don't think anyone said what happened to you was "nothing". I think we all agree that must have been terrible for you, especially being pregnant and worrying about your baby.

I don't think it makes your OP correct though. A law is a law, if people are caught breaking them, they should be enforced.

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LittleTurtle · 01/03/2013 17:27

Go read the whole thread again Three and everyone else before responding.

I am annoyed that the police despatch 4 coppers to a minor crime and yet never even bothered with a serious case. Also me and a two people I know were were robbed in the area, the police seemed non-chalant. All this time we were thinking there are no resources to investigate the crime only to find that they can dispatch so many resources to an insult.

By the way the woman was in no danger, my friend was a knob and broke the law that fact I do not dispute.

Just thinking to myself that a hit and run, robbery and god know what else is treated less of a crime somehow.

Please note that I make an example of my case because I know it happened as a fact, what I dread most however is that someone else in the area had a serious case and it was dismissed like our case.

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WorraLiberty · 01/03/2013 17:29

Both cases here are criminal.

The Police can't be everywhere at once though.

I hope your friend learnt his lesson.

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LRDtheFeministDragon · 01/03/2013 17:29

I have read the thread.

I don't think you are right.

These two things can coexist, you know.

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Buzzardbird · 01/03/2013 17:37

I am sure that I am on a hiding to nothing here but I will try again anyway;

The woman was on a 'known street for prostitutes' and she was part of a sting operation to probably stop this happening, hence the four pcs.
Obviously the woman wasn't hurt and couldn't be as she had police watching her, but that isn't the point is it?

If she had been someone's daughter waiting for a lift from a friend's house then your 'friend' would have possible really frightened her. Is that ok with you?

I can't understand why you are comparing what happened to you (which again, was terrible) with a completely unrelated case? Confused

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AvonCallingBarksdale · 01/03/2013 17:38

I'm really Confused by this - and, yes, I have read the whole thread. The two events are unrelated. What happened to you was very unpleasant, as was what your friend did. You seem to be under the misconception that "hookers" are there as consenting adults. You may find a little bit of reading up on the sex industry would prove illuminating. Regardless of whether it was a sting operation, your colleague was still behaving in a nasty misogynistic way.

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BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 01/03/2013 17:42

LittleTurtle therein lies your problem. He was not insulting anyone. He was being lewd abusive and intimidating.

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Sunnywithshowers · 01/03/2013 17:43

I have read the thread too and I think YABU.

I'm glad you're not badly hurt and you're going to be okay. It's wrong that some idiot drove illegally and hit you.

It's also wrong for your friend to approach a woman on the street for sex. He is a misogynistic idiot and deserved to be cautioned. Women should not have to be harassed and frightened going about their business.

Both of these things are wrong - it's just bad luck that the police weren't there to witness the driver in your case.

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BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 01/03/2013 17:45

I think I am wasting my time to be honest. You seem hell bent on proving that you are more worthy of police time and resources than a scared woman or desperate sex worker. Best of luck with your life and your baby OP. Be glad you are not seen as the dregs of society.

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ThreeWheelsGood · 01/03/2013 17:46

I had read the whole thread before posting, thanks! YAstillBU.

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Boomerwang · 01/03/2013 17:50

The bloke cautioned for lewd conduct was set up. Either they really were hookers and knew the coppers were around so they played it down, or they were undercover. There doesn't just happen to be a bunch of girls hanging around in the street for no reason.

Sorry about your experience with an asshole driver, but when you say 'hit and run' were you actually hit?

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Boomerwang · 01/03/2013 17:51

Sorry my bad, ignore the last part of my post. I thought it was someone else saying they were hit on the leg!

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MechanicalTheatre · 01/03/2013 17:55

Your friend is a twat, that driver was a twat, but I'm failing to see the link.

Soliciting is illegal.

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ThingummyBob · 01/03/2013 18:02

I'm glad you wer not injured in the car incident OP, but really you YABVVU to be defending your colleague like you are Confused

I used to work nights at a halifax bank call centre in leeds on street well known for street prostitution(city centre).

One night before starting work at 9pm as I walked from my bus a man pulled alongside in a car and asked 'how much love'. I told him to fuck off, quite loudly and clearly. He did not fuck off but followed alongside me until I got to the security gate at the entrance to the car park.

Silly twat then turned around and sped off. We called the police and someone from the vice team came out to see me and look at the security footage from the gate.

About a week later they came back (with rape alarms for all of us who did nights) and said that the man in question had been visited at his home in london, with his wife present, and was asked not to harrass people for sex whilst he was away from home on business.

I think your friend got off very lightly.

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LadyBeagleEyes · 01/03/2013 18:05

Just to repeat what everybody else have said.
The two incidents were not related.
And I can't believe you're defending your creepy friend.

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ChairmanWow · 01/03/2013 19:26

Two possible conclusions I can draw for your behaviour on this thread:

  1. You are one of those people who believe they are always right and refuse to listen to reason from other people
  2. You are trolling


I'm putting my money behind 1. You told a PP to read the thread. Can I suggest you do the same and either take into account peoples responses (the vast majority of which are that YABU) or delete the thread to save the rest of us going round in circles with you.
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thebody · 01/03/2013 19:36

Sorry about your accident. Horrible.

The sting operation may have been because local women have been harassed and touched by twats like your friend and have complained to the police who were doing a fantastic job of catching knobs like this.

Maybe the sex workers have regularly been beaten and attacked by clients at this area.

If tour friend had propositioned me on my own I would have been very very scared. If it had been one of my teen dds walking home they would have been petrified.

He behaved disgracefully and deserves what he got.

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kinkyfuckery · 01/03/2013 19:47

I just feel that a guy asking another adult about mutual sex should be less of an offence than this potential manslaughter

Seriously? You honestly believe sex workers take part in "mutual sex".

Your ex-colleague is disgusting. They should have strung him up by his bollocks.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 01/03/2013 20:08

I post this a lot in threads about sex work. I will again because I think that maybe the OP doesn't know how this crap works. At a shelter I worked in we had a 'bad dates' file so that the women could warn each other about some of the extremely dangerous men who were preying on them. I read it once.

I have never been so horrified and disgusted in my life. Rapes, assaults, violent sexual stuff, stalking, repeated harassment and just the worst kind of behaviour you can imagine. Nasty, nasty stuff from 'family men' in nice cars with nice clothes on. Many, many different stories about different men in a very short period of time.

I have also had a desperate woman crying, tell me she was prostituting to pay for drugs that night. She didn't want to go but ended up doing it. She is now dead. I know her sister who cleaned up and is fine. Normal, nice woman. Her sister didn't make it though.

I saw a couple who were withdrawing. The man was really hurting and the woman went out working to pay for drugs so he could use. When he had used the money for drugs, he beat her up for 'cheating on him'.

This is just a snapshot of the 'mutual sex' that is sex work.

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PleasePudding · 01/03/2013 20:51

OP this is a really interesting article. It in part it outlines the benefits of police dealing with punters in a heavy handed way. It is quite difficult to read and it may change your view of your colleague.

m.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/jan/15/why-men-use-prostitutes

As others have said YANBU to think that the police should treat your hit and run seriously but YABU to think that the police have limitless resources or to think that protecting women on the streets - prostitutes or others should be a low priority.

Happy hooker is a myth.

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