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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell people off who park in parent & child spaces but have no children with them?

557 replies

Ameybee · 28/02/2013 15:47

This does my head in when I'm struggling to get 2 kids out the car in a normal space yet some idiot without kids is parked in the child space!!

I told a lady off today! I said 'do you know this is a parent & child space?' She said 'yeah' I replied 'so you're just being inconsiderate then?' She thought about it then made up some bullshit about her child being 'down there, in that shop!!' - she had just driven in!!! Clearly lying. So, would you say something to someone!???

OP posts:
Sirzy · 01/03/2013 07:22

So babies do only parents deserve things which make life a wee bit easier? What about the pregnant woman mentioned earlier do people really think life shouldn't be made easier for them?

Or the person who is temporarily disabled so doesn't have a blue badge but struggles to get out - should life not be made easier for them?

TantrumsAndBalloons · 01/03/2013 07:29

I fail to see how a parent with a 6 year old possibly needed that space more.

EeyoresGloomyPlace · 01/03/2013 07:30

Sirzy, if you read people's comments above you'd have seen no one was debating the use of the spaces by people in actual need, it's the use by people who are just lazy and selfish that is irritating.

There are always loads more disabled spaces than p&c anyway so I would hope those requiring a space would use their allocated space first and the p&c second.

Isn't much of this just common courtesy, or lack of in the case of the woman OP encountered?

Sirzy · 01/03/2013 07:32

I assume you haven't read any of whiteflames posts then Eeyores? She seems to think that a parents with a 6 year old has a greater need than a heavily pregnant woman.

Not everyone who needs extra space is registered disabled.

You don't know why the woman the OP encountered had decided to park there. She could have been selfish, she could have had a reason. The OP was still out of order to challenge her.

RubixCube · 01/03/2013 07:33

Yabu my dp uses them if there no disabled bays left

TantrumsAndBalloons · 01/03/2013 07:36

But the point is, no one can possibly know what need someone has.

If there's only 1 space, who should get it? The person with a 6 year old who might have other reasons to need it, or the mother with a 2 year old?

Who decides who needs it more?

It's a parking space. You don't know why people are parking there. So park if there is a space, if not park somewhere else.
But becoming judge and jury on who is more deserving is madness.

Sirzy · 01/03/2013 07:37

exactly Tantrums.

threebats · 01/03/2013 07:44

God, this reminded me of an incident about 3/4 years ago. I was loading my shopping into my boot, in a regular parking space across the way from the P&C spaces. There was a woman next to me doing the same. I had reversed into my space, she had driven into hers so we were top to tail then. When she was done loading her shopping, she took her trolley and tried to get between her car and mine, to leave it on the path. When she couldn't fit through, she took my wing mirror and tried to push it into the car.... I went, 'Oi!' Like that and she turned around and absolutely growled at me, 'I could not get a space in the parent and child space. I have a baby in the car! ' I mean, she shouted/growled it at me.
I told her that the baby would be quite safe in the car while she walked, oh 10 more steps in the other direction to get to the path. And she declared me a stupid, childless idiot.... So I informed, actually I had three children and not one of them had incited me into an act of stupidity in a car park.... Get off my fecking car woman....
Honestly, this happened. The baby was asleep in its seat in the back of the car? Not screaming or howling or looking for its mum... Bloody entitled parking and idiots like this have driven me mad ever since.

everlong · 01/03/2013 07:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toddlerama · 01/03/2013 08:26

They just need to make all the spaces wider. The selfish will always be among us and they will always want the space they deem the best. The problem is you can't get a baby seat out of the car without opening the door fully, and lots of supermarkets only offer toddler seats in trolleys so you need the car seat for the baby to sit in! So when someone selfish decides to park there because they can or because its not a legal right, you end up circling the car park despite there being other spaces because there's no point parking if you can't get out.

Parents who use them when the kids are waiting in the car are the worst. Come on, you know what it's like to get a car seat out with two other toddlers trying to force their way past you. Don't be a dick. Hmm

everlong · 01/03/2013 08:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fairylightsinthesnow · 01/03/2013 08:30

No, you can't always KNOW there is an issue but its a fair bet if, when challenged, the people get REALLY arsey and defensive like the bloke who swore and called me a bitch the other week, that they don't have a reason such as temporary mobility issues say. This chap was loading up his very flash jag with shopping and had fairly obviously parked there so his car wouldn't get damaged. I asked very politely if he knew they were P&C and his exact words were: Yeah so? Fuck off you bitch and mind your own business! Lovely.

Imaginethat · 01/03/2013 08:33

Seriously though, about two thirds of shoppers have children with them and only about one zillionth of the car parks are P&C. So who is the most entitled? Maybe just park where you can and save your energy for real problems.

valiumredhead · 01/03/2013 08:40

This is such a funny thread Grin

I wonder how many parents would use the P&C places if they were all placed at the other end of the carpark

That ^

debbie1412 · 01/03/2013 08:42

Yanbu it drives me mad ! I never get a pc space and and struggle to get the car seat out if their is a car parked nxt to us. I'm also not bothered about walking distance it's the width of the parking bays I need. I also hate people who park in them with children above the age of 5.
Totally agree with you x

valiumredhead · 01/03/2013 08:45

When ds was small there weren't P and C spaces - no one struggled, they just parked and got out of their cars, sometimes it was a bit of a tight squeeze but no one got angry, no one complained or fumed. What's changed?

Sirzy · 01/03/2013 08:48

Parents have come to expect them and therefore now rely on them.

Nobody who NEEDS these spaces has yet managed to tell me how they cope in normal car parks which don't have P and C spaces though.

landofsoapandglory · 01/03/2013 09:01

I can not believe the amount of people who get their knickers in a twist over a parking space! The only people who should have a designated space is the disabled, the rest of you should park where ever!

All this bollocks of 'I can't get little Johnnie's seat out!' What do you do if you go to a hospital, or a council car park in town because they don't have them? You just have to suck it up and get on with it!

When I had DS1 P&T spaces were sort of just coming in, but we coped if we couldn't get one, even when I was on crutches and 8months pregnant with DS2 we could manage! When my DSis has DN, we'd go out in my 3 door car, with DN in her seat in the front, my mother, nan and sister in the back and me driving and we'd all manage to get out of the car without the need of a P&T space!

Theas18 · 01/03/2013 09:08

Mums net has given me a parking complex!

Parked in P+C child in lidl because all the disabled spaces were taken (BOTH mum and dad have blue badges FFS!) they DO need both space to open the doors wide and the shortest run to the shop possible as they totter along ( or in dads case try to fall).

I was twinging with guilt all the time I was shopping thinking there will be a thread about me I know it!

TantrumsAndBalloons · 01/03/2013 09:10

See, this is the thing. No one needs these spaces.

It's a bonus if one is available. And of course we would all rather our lives were easier. That's why they have a few of these spaces.

But realistically, it's not necessary. So if one is available, that's good. You get on with your shopping and its made it that bit easier.

But...it's the..I don't know what to call it. The absolute insistence that these spaces need to be available because people cannot get out of cars or stop their DCs running off. Because it isn't true.

You can do it. Maybe it's a minutes more effort but you can do it.
Because we did it when there were no P&C parking, you do it when places don't offer P&C parking.

The spaces aren't legally enforceable AFAIK and I imagine its because they aren't necessary. They are just there, to help and if its available, park in it.

I guess people have many reasons for parking there with no DCs and yes, laziness is probably one of them. And, yes it would be nicer if they didnt.
But it would also be nicer if I could park outside my house every day. But I can't. Because its not my space. And even though it would be easier for me, I can't question people about parking there, and thinking I was more entitled to the space because it makes my life easier.

WestieMamma · 01/03/2013 09:24

Sirzy, can you not see that a parent and child space is for parents and children (or disabled people if these spaces are taken).

I frequently use them even when the disabled spaces are free for 2 reasons. Firstly there is an increasingly common practise of putting them closer than the disabled spaces (Tesco, I'm looking at you Hmm). Secondly, I will park in the space available which is best suited to my needs and sometimes that means a p&c space over a disabled space.

I've also been shouted out for using them many times because as someone up thread said, they breed a sense of entitlement. You'd be amazed at how many people put their convenience above my need.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 01/03/2013 09:41

I'm confused.

People saying they can't get carseats inand out. Do you not just park ever so slightly nearer to the left side white line of a space and put the carseat on the right hand side of the car?

It's what I did, it was much easier.

Babybeesmama · 01/03/2013 09:43

I think this thread has completly missed the point now!

I agree with eyeore that there are in most cases a lot more disabled spaces than p&c spaces (there are 3 where I was), if I was disabled and couldn't find a space yes I think its totally reasonable to park in a p&c space but if it happened frequently I would speak to the store about providing more disabled parking.

I didn't 'fight' with this woman, I merely asked her if she realised. Wouldn't normally bother but was pissed off and tired!

I've decided that the majority of people on this thread think I am not being unreasonable! And those who don't agree are going off on a totally different tangent!

Over and out!

Babybeesmama · 01/03/2013 09:43

Amazing - what if you have 2 kids? And no one said they couldn't actually get them out in a normal space - just that its more difficult!

TheChaoGoesMu · 01/03/2013 09:50

It makes me wonder how all these people who can't control or hang on to their child (thus absolutely needing a parent and child parking space), manage when they park in other places such as council carparks. Or perhaps they don't go anywhere else other than the supermarket for this reason. It must be very difficult. Poor dears.