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AIBU?

To think babies can't be spoilt?

65 replies

Softlysoftly · 28/02/2013 15:18

Just that really. Should have stayed out of it but just got involved in a conversation about putting babies in/on something most of the time so they don't get "spoilt" by being cuddled.

AIBU that cuddling a baby won't ruin them for life.

We are talking weeks old btw not once sitting/crawling

OP posts:
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smellysocksandchickenpox · 03/03/2013 18:36

well this week I've had it suggested to me that DS gets sick and upset if lay him down flat because I have him "used to being held in that thing" ("that thing" being sling).. erm noooo, I use "that thing" BECAUSE he has reflux and lying down causes him pain! Hmm FFS

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ChunkyPickle · 03/03/2013 18:45

When people talk about a rod for my back I just laugh, snuggle in closer and tell them that he's such a nice, soft, warm rod.

That either makes them give a little soppy smile, or embarrasses them enough that I can change the subject :)

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yaimee · 03/03/2013 18:50

I wish my 15mo would let me cuddle him, I only get one while I'm giving him his bottle! I wish he'd spoil me with some cuddles Sad he's too busy nowadays!

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mrsstewpot · 03/03/2013 18:51

GoatBongos, I know - very worrying that she wasn't encouraging me to hold him as much as possible. I was trying to establish bfing as well and of course was behind as I hadn't been able to hold him.

He wasn't premature and so was quite lively - looking for stimulation and interaction. It was quite apparent she didn't want him getting used to that!

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AlisonMoyet · 03/03/2013 18:51

isnt it SPOILED?

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yaimee · 03/03/2013 18:51

I wish my 15mo would let me cuddle him, I only get one while I'm giving him his bottle! I wish he'd spoil me with some cuddles Sad he's too busy nowadays!

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yaimee · 03/03/2013 18:52

I want them enough to post that twice apparently!

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PopeBenedictsP45 · 03/03/2013 18:56

Yes I had this with DD as I carried her everywhere in the sling. "She'll expect to be held all the time now!"

I said "GOOD."

I'm glad I did because she started crawling at six months and after that refused to be held/cuddled at all!

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tomatoplantproject · 03/03/2013 19:05

In that case my very smiley & happy baby who sleeps through is spoiled rotten. I cuddle her a lot and I feed her to sleep too. I am therefore a bad mother! But she is only 4 months old and needs her cuddles and quite frankly i don't have the heart to start controlled crying and don't want to change what we're doing to change her sleeping throughness. The only thing that makes me sad is that my back is too sore for me to wear her in a sling so she sits in her buggy and chats to me instead, and the sling is reserved for her daddy (who is also naughty and spoiling her with cuddles).

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NayFindus · 03/03/2013 19:10

YADNBU people do speak a load of cock sometimes don't they, is this not like saying 'oh my god don't feed them, they'll expect it ALL the time...' grrrr, love my baby's cuddles. I'm 39 this year and I'm often to be found whining 'I'm snuggle deprived, I neeeeed cuddles'. My 2 year old is well trained. I just have to open my arms and ask (but really, I shouldn't have to ask ffs....)

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BubbleGunsGirl · 03/03/2013 20:33

Absolutely agree that you can't spoil a baby with cuddles, feeding on demand, kisses, etc. But likewise i believe you cannot spoil a baby, a toddler, a child, a teen or an adult with affection, quite the opposite actually.
It is the gift giving, materialistic purchase (in place of affection or because of guilt) that can spoil anyone.
Ignore the comments and kiss your baby as much as you want.

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smellysocksandchickenpox · 03/03/2013 22:16

oh you can definitely spoil children! I know a child that cannot be taken into/past any shop without being bought something, and once they have that thing the novelty of it is worn off in about 2 mins and they're asking for something else

cuddles don't make spoilt children though, unless you are trying to raise a ruthless killer, and then yes, cuddles might spoil that plan a bit!

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AScorpionPitForMimes · 03/03/2013 22:39

Well, my two cuddles and fed-on-demand DDs are now 10 and 12, and you couldn't want for two more independent girls. And even better, they still like being cuddled.

I remember a friend of mine expressing amazement when DD2 (3 months old) was grizzly and in the middle of a growth spurt. She said 'You're not still feeding on demand, are you?' So I shot her my best sunny don't mess with me smile and said 'No, I just like to air my boobs out.' She never said another thing, and amazingly enough we stayed friends.

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redwallday · 03/03/2013 22:50

Babies don't keep. Simple as that really. One day they aren't going to want all our out pourings of affection, kisses and cuddles so enjoy it while you can. My biggest hope though is that when my children have children, they will cuddle them whenever and however it is needed Smile

My daughter is 20 months and weighs 2stone 5lbs and I still carry her in a sling. She is always at her calmest in the sling and often snuggles into me and strokes my arms while in it. Even now she will fall asleep snuggling her mummy.

So I will say it again, babies don't keep! Enjoy them today because tomorrow they will be all grown up Smile

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dikkertjedap · 03/03/2013 23:55

Totally agree. Also agree with all the posters that you cannot spoil any one (baby, child, whatever) with cuddles and love.

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