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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think lack of sleep is affecting every part of my life

16 replies

happymschicken · 28/02/2013 09:48

When I was pregnant with my first DC 4 years ago, sleepless nights didn't really figure. People kept telling me to make the most of uninterrupted nights and lay ins but fool that I was, I assumed my DS would be sleeping through from 2 months (thanks GF - book went in bin after one week).

Therefore it was a shock when he needed feeding every 2 hours and I'll readily admit the first 6 weeks nearly broke me and my DH.

Of course over time he slept much better and at nearly 4yrs old, he goes to bed without much fuss but will usually wake at least once a night calling for me or my DH but it's cope-able I suppose.

When I had my DD last year, I was absolutely dreading the sleepless nights but she was a great sleeper from the word go. It's only in the last few weeks that it's all gone to pot. I was up for hours last night and then her crying woke my DS - you get the picture.

My DH is brilliant and we share the load but I don't think I've had an uninterrupted night's sleep for at least a year. To be fair, nor has he.

I know this is part of being a parent and I know all the sleep training methods but the lack of decent sleep is killing me.

On the odd occasion when I do get a decent night's kip, I feel like a different woman the next day. I'm full of energy, I'm optimistic about life and feel great.

But on a bad day I just feel dreadful and I dread the nights. It's brilliant if they sleep well, awful if they don't. I reckon physically, I've aged 10 years! My skin certainly looks like it despite eating reasonably healthily and looking after myself.

We had sort of discussed having a third but there's no way I can cope with another few years of bad sleep and nor can my DH. It probably sounds over dramatic doesn't it?

I'm not saying if I'd known all this I wouldn't have had children but I don't think I realised how much I value my sleep. Tell me it gets better.

OP posts:
KellyElly · 28/02/2013 11:46

My DD is only three and sleeps in my room, so even though she is a good sleeper I still have a disturbed sleep frequently as she sleep talks, snores, moves about a lot and occasionally cries of when she wakes up. Also the lack of ever having a lie in is a killer.

All the people I know who have older children say it gets better as they get older, so I'm sure it will. When they're teenagers you'll be having the opposite and writing a thread about not being able to get them up Grin.

happymschicken · 28/02/2013 11:51

I know it sounds like I'm just having a winge-fest and I count my lucky stars every day that I've got two lovely DCs but I never thought the lack of sleep would be this bad!

Take this morning, I can hardly keep my eyes open but I've got a ton of work
get on with that needs total concentration. Last weekend, when my DD was being particularly sleepless, my DH and I spend the entire weekend sniping at each other just because we're so knackered.

OP posts:
TranceDaemon · 28/02/2013 11:55

You and DH need to start giving each other some sleep time off. Work in shifts if you can, so you both get some uninterrupted sleep time.

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture!

N0tinmylife · 28/02/2013 11:56

Could you invest in some ear plugs and take it in turn getting up with the DC's. At least that way you would both get a decent sleep every other night? Lack of sleep is torture!

happymschicken · 28/02/2013 11:59

We do take it in turns to have a lie in at the weekends and that does help.

I suppose I've hit a low today because we were woken up so many times last night I reckon I only had 2 hrs uninterrupted sleep.

God only knows how single parents cope and those with more than two kids!

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Flobbadobs · 28/02/2013 12:01

Not over dramatic at all! It does improve but, as my Mum pointed out years ago you get used to waking up as they get older and your sleep pattern changes. This was particularly useful with DC3 as she hit the sleep regression phase at 4 months, I found I could function with less sleep and didn't feel like a bag of shit the next day.
YANBU though, lack of sleep over a period of time can destroy you and in my ce when Dc1 was a baby distorts everything into a Big Issue. I once cried when Ds was a baby because I couldn't find the remote control... Blush

happymschicken · 28/02/2013 12:01

We do take it in turns to get up but when it's half a dozen times a night it doesn't really help.

I hate myself for wishing my DD's baby years would speed by so I can sleep - how sad is that? They're little for such a short space of time.

As you can see, I'm getting a little sleep obsessed.

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StitchAteMySleep · 28/02/2013 12:01

I am in the same boat as you with a 1 year old who has been ill or teething for over a month and a 3 year old who has nightmares. I have not had an unbroken nights sleep since 2008!

I feel like I am wading through a bog most days, it definitely affects my entire life. Motivation zero, libido through the floor, emotions all over the place.

Today I have taken extra iron plus 1000mg vitamin C which helped me feel less foggy headed and managed to wash my hair for the first time in two weeks, small achievements make me happy.

I like to remind myself that when they are teenagers I will struggle to get them out of bed.

I'm sure there will be many along soon to reassure us it does get better.

Flobbadobs · 28/02/2013 12:03

I found Berocca helped in the first few months after DC3 was born, it gave me a bit of a boost until I could find somewhere to nap.. (I follow the rule sleep when baby sleeps to the letter!)

happymschicken · 28/02/2013 12:04

I think part of the problem is that I'm a typical type A personality and I need a certain amount of control.

Obviously their sleep is something I don't have much control over although I am strict about their bedtimes and not getting out of bed etc.

Luckily my DH is the complete opposite otherwise we'd be in real trouble.

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happymschicken · 28/02/2013 12:07

stitch I know what you mean.

Both DCs have had either a cold or sickness since December. The last few months have been one big illness really.

I'd kill for one evening where DH and I could watch a film, eat a meal and drink a glass of wine without having to tramp up the stairs to settle them.

There is light at the end of the tunnel though- DH has booked a night at a hotel next weekend. The GPs are having the DCS. I hope he's not hoping some tomfoolery because I intend to spend the time sleeping!

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BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 28/02/2013 12:10

My DS is 10 and he doesnt sleep through the night. He has always been a terrible sleeper and is also very anxious and gets panicy.

Last night I was with him whilst he dropped off (took 20 mins)...he woke at 11.50, was in with him till 1.30 and then he woke again at 2.30 so I was in with him till we got up this morning.

We have tried everything, being firm, leaving him to cry, being horrible...nothing works and so now I am just waiting for him to grow out of it...and have ordered him a bigger bed so we can all be more comfortable.

DH and I take it in turns to do the night shift....we are well used to it now.

Apart from sleeping he is a super kid though and he will grow out of it as will your DC :)

sheeplikessleep · 28/02/2013 12:13

happy - same here. DS1 is 5 and a half and DS2 is 3 next week. DS2 has woken at 5/5.30am every day since he was 10 months old and refuses to start the day any later. And we get the wake ups / resettles in the night as well.

We are away for a night on Saturday, I'm so looking forward to it. I hadn't realised how much I need sleep until having kids. I go to bed at 8.30pm most nights, or else I feel rotten the next day.

happymschicken · 28/02/2013 12:17

sheep you're a braver woman than me!

I joked to DH last night that once a month, one of us should go and stay at the local Travelodge for one night just to get a good night's sleep. Even the Travelodge seems attractive when you're sleep deprived!

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sheeplikessleep · 28/02/2013 12:40

DS1 has always been a good sleeper.
DS2 has always been an early riser (and took quite a bit of night weaning off milk too).
I'm sort of hoping the pattern will alternate and our final babe will be a good sleeper.
Can but hope Grin

middleagedspread · 28/02/2013 13:36

You poor thing.
My DC are older now, but I do remember dreaming about booking into a B&B on my own & sleeping a whole night uninterrupted.
i promise you they grow out of it. In fact, my teens have to be dragged out of bed now.
It will all seem like a bad dream in a few years.

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