To be upset by my Moms comments about my size - I'm pregnant!

[NoTeaForMe]

My Mom keeps telling me how enormous I am, I'm 28 weeks pregnant and have been feeling quite good about my size. I haven't put on that much weight, definitely less than last time and at my midwife appointment I actually measured on the smaller side of normal! So why does it bother me? Why am I feeling sad again after a phone call with her telling me I'm 'enormous' I told her I'm smaller and she said 'well I'm surprised, you look enormous to me!' When I saw her the other day she called me fat! Everyone but her tells me I'm looking good/well!

AIBU to be upset?!

Have you told her it upsets you?

Definitely YANBU! Do you think she's doing it to make herself feel better? I think I'd be preparing a couple of snappy remarks if she does it again.

Suggestions: 'Really? You think I'm enormous? Oh mother, I know your eyesight is supposed to decline with age but I didn't think you were THAT old yet!'

'Did you mean to be so rude?'

'Hmmm.... long pause' Repeat every time she says it so she'll get bored.

'Call me fat/enormous again and I'm going to teach the baby to tell everyone insert embarrassing thing for your mom here

You: "That's very hurtful and rude Mum. I'm surprised that you feel the need to be so critical during such a special time in my life. If you haven't got anything nice, kind or positive to say to me, don't say anything."

If Mum carries on saying it and ignores your wishes....

You: "Mum, I tried to tell you nicely before and you've paid no heed to my wishes so do be a good mum and FUCK RIGHT OFF."

I haven't really told her it upsets me as much but when she said I was fat I said 'Mom, did you actually just call me fat' in a shocked voice and she just said 'well you seem to have grown even more in the last few minutes!' I spoke to her about the midwife appointment and when she said she was surprised and that I'm enormous I just said 'well then you're obviously wrong aren't you' and cut the conversation short.

I don't understand it, I honestly think that if I said I was fat she'd tell me off and say 'no, you're pregnant, there's a big difference' or words to that effect!

Start saying it back to her. 'Gosh, you know, I was thinking the same about you, you seem really bloated today!' Plus of course any of the 'Mum, stop being so rude and thoughtless. I've told you already'.

Would any of you actually say any if these thins to your mom though?!

YANBU to be upset. Could you tell her it upsets you? She possibly doesn't know she's being offensive.
My mam is extremely critical of others and abusive and she used to make comments like this. I measured between 3-5 weeks behind in both my pregnancies, was sent for growth scans (all fine) and only gained 6kg in my second one and she still said I was massive. Try and ignore it. I never said anything to her as she's always been like that, I just tried to remind myself that she's always picking fault with people and it's her that has the problem not me.

I expect she means it as a compliment. Shows your baby is growing well.

I always had small bumps and no one ever said that to me

Hell, yes, I'd tell my Mum if she was being a cow. She won't melt if her adult offspring tell her some home truths.

Mind you, my Mum kept telling me I looked great whereas I actually looked like an orca in a dress and wig. Which was actually annoying in its own way.

My mum is exactly the same, I'm 22 weeks and every time I see her she delights in telling me how enormous I am. I've tried to say to her that it's not very nice but she just says 'well you are!' then tells me how much fatter than the royal incubator I am. My solution is to try to ignore her, it's not working though!