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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To warn DD that she was being followed late at night

20 replies

Geranium3 · 27/02/2013 21:00

DD,17 has a part time job a couple of evenings/week and she gets bus back after at about 9pm and i pick her up for the last few miles back to our rural village from the nearest town and i wait in the railway station carpark though i can see dd from when she alights from bus approx 100yards away.
Last night , and i could "get" the whole picture from where i was waiting in car, i noticed a man who appeared to be following my DD and only when it was obvious that she was getting into a car,did he hesitate and walked back out of carpark.
DD was blissfully unaware of this, looking at her phone as usual! I casually mentioned it to her but she said i was imagining it!
AIBU to say more to her as her routine with bus time is always the same and think man was on same bus , don't want to crush her confidence though

OP posts:

sweetieaddict · 27/02/2013 21:09

Of course you should tell her. Her safety is paramount and her not looking at her phone in dark carparks and being fully aware of her surroundings is crucial. Go with your instinct.....

hmc · 27/02/2013 21:11

No brainer - yes you should tell her

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 27/02/2013 21:11

YANBU, definitely. Tell her, and maybe even exaggerate a tiny bit to make her take it seriously. Better safe than sorry. Too many people think it can't happen to them, till it does.

Original poster

Geranium3 · 27/02/2013 21:11

thanks sweetieaddict, thought i was being over reactive

OP posts:

Annunziata · 27/02/2013 21:12

Definitely, definitely tell her.

Rosa · 27/02/2013 21:12

I would stress the safety aspect and also maybe the chap wanted to snatch her phone so maybe its best esp at night to keep it in her bag/pocket and be aware if whatis going on around her.

Bearandcub · 27/02/2013 21:13

Yes tell her.

Scootee · 27/02/2013 21:14

Or course tell her.

I personally don't think it is a good idea to be looking at a phone when walking down the street and I would tell her to stop doing this.

LondonNinja · 27/02/2013 21:14

Tell her.

beeny · 27/02/2013 21:14

Please please tell her.I work as a criminal barrister the world is full of weirdos.

Phosphene · 27/02/2013 21:15

Please tell her. She is 17. So much happens these day, better be safe than sorry.

sweetieaddict · 27/02/2013 21:18

I logged in just to respond to your post and felt very nervous reading it and I'm not even her mother......you really can't do enough regarding this imo...it's great you're picking her up though (reminds me of my own mother many years ago now!) but maybe pick her up literally outside the bus stop so she doesn't have to walk through any dark, unlit car parks reducing her vulnerability.

LeChatRouge · 27/02/2013 21:18

Can you wait nearer the bus stop? Or pull out of the car park as it drives past, wait behind it at the bus stop and she can hop out straight into your car?

Don't like it. What would you do if he grabbed her phone or worse.....her?

yummumto3girls · 27/02/2013 21:18

Agree tell her, she needs to be aware of how to protect herself. If its a regular bus driver I might even be tempted to have a word with the bus company or CCTV at the station, it might be someone that needs monitoring!

FeckOffCup · 27/02/2013 21:21

I would tell her that looking at your phone while walking isn't great, but if she always gets picked up from the bus and is in your sight the whole time then what is going to happen to her? I would consider telling the police about it though in case the guy switches from your DD to an easier target, they might want to keep an eye on the area for a while.

Isityouorme · 27/02/2013 21:27

Tell the police please.

Original poster

Geranium3 · 27/02/2013 21:28

thank you so much for all your responses,glad i am not being over anxious, i will chat to DD now and many thanks for all your advice

OP posts:

cheeseandbiscuitsplease · 27/02/2013 21:37

Should you tell her??
I can't actually believe you have had to post this as a question???

FakePlasticLobsters · 27/02/2013 21:40

Not over anxious at all, she needs to be aware.

And I would report it to the police as well. They might have had other complaints or be able to patrol the area a little more.

But I think in all the advice they give out, people who attack women often go for someone who looks distracted.

She could have been mugged or the man could have started to attack even in your sight. Realising you were there would have scared him off quickly but she could have been hit or pushed over and hurt before he knew you were there.

It won't crush her confidence to learn how to defend herself or to understand that she needs to be aware of who might be around her. Get her an attack alarm too.

blackeyedsusan · 27/02/2013 21:44

I would let the police know too. non emergency number, might be nothing but sort of phone call. thought they should be aware etc... just in case there have been other odd reports...

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