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Original poster

to ask about being known by a middle name instead of first name?

80 replies

plasticcup · 27/02/2013 19:44

Is anyone known by their middle name or does anyone use their DCs middle name instead of their first given name? Due to rubbish intials of the names we really like for our new baby, we are thinking of changing the order of the names so that our first choice will be the middle name and he will be known by that name IYSWIM.

Has it caused any problems or confusion for anyone? I know lots of people used middle names in t'olden days but wondered how common it is these days.

OP posts:
apostropheuse · 27/02/2013 23:22

I've been known by my middle name since birth. It can be a bit of a pain as you're always referred to as your first name in official forms, in hospital, school register etc. It can be confusing if a young child is in hospital when they're being called by another name (as often happened to me). It's the same with bank accounts etc.

Then you forget what name you've registered for something with - or if you've registered with full name, but signed just middle name, or initial of first name and then full middle name.

I would avoid it if possible to be honest.

faulkernegger · 27/02/2013 23:22

Don't do it. I am fed up of explaining to people that my first name is not the one I'm known by. My parents did it for the same reasons as you - weird acronym the other way round - and I've spent 50 years saying "actually my name is...."

Moominsarehippos · 27/02/2013 23:32

My brother uses his middle name. I only found out when - was 15! My grandpa too - I found this out recently after mum died and I was sorting through old certificates. Grandma referred to him by his real name a couple of times late on but as she had dementia I thought shed got muddled.

LetUsPrey · 27/02/2013 23:34

My mum and my siblings are all known by their middle names. I think it was because their (siblings') names sounded better that way round. Don't think it's caused any major problems, although obviously I can't say that for certain.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 27/02/2013 23:34

My friends parents go by their middle names. Nothing wrong with doing that.

Tinuviel · 28/02/2013 00:09

I've never had any major problems! I have 3 names and was called by the last one until I was 18; hated it so changed to my 2nd name as my 1st was my mum's name. It was slightly embarassing at school being called the 'wrong name' and they still use my 1st name at the doctor's (just office staff, not my GP) but I would always use my full name for official stuff and my signature has all my initials and surname. None of the banks I've used have ever made a fuss either - my account name contains my 3 initials, so they can accept a cheque with any of those initials on.

With us it was a 'family thing' that started with my dad. Having said that, I didn't do it for my DCs - they have 3 names but use their 1st one.

lottiegarbanzo · 28/02/2013 00:40

I mentioned the bank issue. My account is in my full name with both initials on cards. Someone was having a funny day when they decided that cheques to my second name were not ok and I must ask everyone to make them out to the first name that few are familiar with.

dayshiftdoris · 28/02/2013 01:16

I use my middle name - made my own decision at 16 and changed it legally at 18 because I was about to start my midwifery training and I knew that I would have to sign notes with my legal first name....

Up until your baby is 12 months old you can change the birth certificate to whatever you want - it will be re-issued as if baby has always been called this

I would recommend changing the birth certificate - a friend did it and said it was simple...

I changed my name and ALL my documents nearly 16yrs ago but I still have to present my legal name change documentation with my birth certificate for mortgage stuff, work stuff and with the CRB I have put my original name... not to mention the fact that some relatives still call me by my first name Angry

DueInSeptember · 28/02/2013 11:50

Both myself and my husband are known by our middle names. It's ok day to day but anything official and they will call us by our 1st names. We even got married as our first names and I didn't like to correct the registrar half way through the ceremony. It can be a pain in the ass, we gave both our daughters one name only (as well as a surname).

Flobbadobs · 28/02/2013 11:54

DH os known by his middle name although for official stuff he uses his first name. When we married in church I made the vows to his middle name but the certificate has his full name.
He's never been known as his first name at all, his parents for reasons best known to themselves gave him a first name they would never use and then his 'real' name as the middle one! Confused

KatherineKrupnik · 28/02/2013 11:59

DP has always been known by his middle name. He hates it & contemplates changing it. I found it really weird marrying 'Thomas' - couldn't keep a straight face. Don't do it!

eavesdropping · 28/02/2013 12:05

I can't understand why anybody would do this.

Just either keep the names in the "right" order and sod the acronym, or choose different names

NotADragonOfSoup · 28/02/2013 12:08

I am known by my middle name. It is a minor irritation rather than a PITA but I wouldn't do it to a child of mine.

ladymarian · 28/02/2013 12:09

My dad is known by his middle name. It causes a lot of confusion! He had a nightmare going on holiday once because he had booked flights online using the name he uses normally (ie his middle name) but as his passport states his full name the airline initially said it wasn't the same person!

TBH I probably wouldn't do it to your child!!

Jins · 28/02/2013 12:09

I've always been known by my middle name and it was a proper pain in the arse until the time that I deedpolled the vile (currently very popular) first name to the depths of oblivion that it deserves to be in.

Until I got rid of it I was constantly missing calls for appointments because I didn't recognise the name they were calling out and countersigning cheques to prove that I was who the cheque was made out to.

It's an administrative nightmare

NotADragonOfSoup · 28/02/2013 12:12

Thinking about it, I'm sure my dad is known by a first name that was added at his christening and isn't on his birth certificate. It doesn't seem to have caused any problems (although I must ask him!)

freddiefrog · 28/02/2013 12:17

BiL's (DH's sister's husband) family do this.

All the first born boys traditionally have the same name as a first name, but they're all known by their middle names to avoid confusion Confused

So DH's nephew is officially named (for eg) John Michael, but is always known as Michael

I don't think it's caused any aggravation, but seems particularly convoluted and pointless to me

specialsubject · 28/02/2013 12:20

don't do this. DH has this (first name shared with father, known by middle name) and endless minor hassle when introducing himself to people who have seen his full name, ensuring group travel bookings have the right name etc.

give the baby the first name you will call it by. There is plenty of choice, you must be able to find one that you like.

makingdoo · 28/02/2013 12:24

Please tell me why people do this? If its a family name thing then why not use that as the middle name. I just don't understand! Obviously people are going to assume you are called by your first name.

Both my parents are called by completely different names than their legal names. It's very confusing at times!

Don't do it. Children face enough obstacles growing up - their name should not be difficult!
My parents gave me an unusual name and although its pretty, it's a real PITA as no one can spell it!

nextphase · 28/02/2013 12:26

Please don't do it!
I often don't hear a call to an appointment til it is repeated, and I think who's this idiot Next who can't listen for their name, Oh, DOH, its me,
The bank are starting to get twitchy accepting cheques to Phase as the account is Next Phase.

It was done to aviod silly initials for me also - but I could have married someone who would have made my initials even sillier!

Can yuo add in another name if you really love the 2 you've got?

RocknRollNerd · 28/02/2013 12:53

Another one saying (based on my mum's experience) that it is a royal pain in the arse. My mum has always hated it, same tales as everyone else - not knowing what name people are using depending on the degree of 'officaldom' involved, having to explain that she's not called x but goes by y (combined with y being a name that people frequently bugger up the spelling of), needing to ask for cheques to be reissued, docs not matching proof of ID etc etc etc.

Bear in mind as well that the initials problem will only be solved if your child always goes by x.y.p. or x.y. plasticup. That doesn't always happen - he could end up as y.p. y.plasticup x.p. x.plasticup etc. Sometimes you just have to suck it down that your dream name just doesn't go with your surname/initials or whatever - it's why I'm not called my mum's preferred name (think something along the lines of me ending up as f.rocknrollnerd) and I had to sadly rule out the name I really wanted for DS (similar problem despite him having my married surname).

Hullygully · 28/02/2013 12:57

boring

freddiefrog · 28/02/2013 12:57

Sometimes you just have to suck it down that your dream name just doesn't go with your surname/initials or whatever

Yes, I agree. I couldn't give DD2 the middle name I wanted as I couldn't face saddling her with GIT as her initials

BrainSurgeon · 28/02/2013 13:02

Identical situation to Xmasbaby, but I didn't have my name changed. I ended up using my 'real' first name in official situations, which I hate :(

georgedawes · 28/02/2013 13:06

Don't do it! My dhs parents did this and it has caused so many problems for him.

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