I have a really good friend, although I feel we are drifting a little at the moment and I am wondering how much energy I want to 'invest' in the friendship anymore. Our DDs used to be good friends but they don't really see each other anymore.
Ultimately I am slightly fed up. She complains that she never has enough time but she constantly fills her time up with activites. Some can't be helped but some can. Her DF (fiance not friend) gets fed up with the amount of their free time that she plans things, weekends can all be booked for up to 2 months at a time. She complains a lot about not having time for this and that but I am a little fed up of hearing it now. It seems to be the same excuses all the time and I think it is just how she is. It has been 6 years of friendship (we met at NCT, have older DDs the same age and younger DS's of similar age) and nothing changes.
I had a significant birthday last year and she was making me a present (it was suppose to be a surprise but it took so long she had to tell me). I got it 10 months after my birthday! It is something that takes a couple of hours to do.
A couple of years ago we planned a dinner party between us. She was hosting but I was suppose to be sorting out the details as she didn't have time. However trying to pin her down to sort out things was a nightmare as she was always too busy to think about it. I had other people who were involved wanting to know what they were doing and they kept asking me as they needed to know but I never knew. I ended up saying "do this" to friends who asked then the host said she didn't want that and we had to change things. On the actual day, I felt really ill. I knew I couldn't pull out but I made her aware that I felt dreadful and I couldn't have a late night. She had had yet another crazy day and wasn't going to rush (this was suppose to be a celebration for me, just at her house as it was bigger). When I arrived she was clearly pissed at me and didn't even speak to me for a while so I sat awkwardly in her house feeling out of place. She later said that I upset her because she went to so much effort and I apologised profusely but I was feeling rough and that didn't seem to matter because of the effort that she went to when she was so busy. It was coming up to midnight and we STILL hadn't had the last course and I was struggling to stay awake and I had to drive home when I said I needed to leave but she announced in front of everyone that I couldn't because someone specifically bought something for me and I had to eat it. When I did eventually get to go she said "I couldn't let you leave without eating it" I felt like shit and felt like everyone was looking at me, which they were. I know it was a while ago but it seems like she does things, I want to know details, shes too busy and if I am not always available or am ill then she gets out put and I am the one apologising.
This seems to be getting a pattern. I am trying to be supportive at the moment as she is going through a rough patch but I don't get replies, becoming a common theme, as she is too busy to reply. She likes to get together when we can but it is getting increasingly obvious that this is few and far between. Although she wants us to remain good friends, I feel that I am waiting around for her to be less busy, which I don't see happening and I don't feel like I want to just keep waiting for her to slot me in when she can. I had this with previous friends and it got on my nerves.
There is more but I feel I have gone on long enough!
AIBU to be feeling fed up and like I am hanging around waiting for her to have free time or am I being a bit of a cow and should be being more supportive when she is stressed a lot? Genuinely don't know. 