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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DD swapped a £60 doll for a Mcdonald's toy

58 replies

DowntonNappy · 27/02/2013 09:21

Yesterday, dd's school was holding a 'recycle your toys' day. The infants had to bring in a toy they didn't want anymore (which had to be in good condition) and swap it for a toy another child had brought in.

So i asked dd to pick a toy that she wanted to recycle. She picked her old Baby Born doll that i'd bought her two years ago. She's hardly played with it, and her gran bought her a newer one this Christmas.

I told her she had to be sure, because she wouldn't be able to get it back. She told me she was sure, and wouldn't compromise by taking in a smaller toy instead such as one of her cuddly toys.

Anyway, she came home yesterday and showed me what she'd swapped it for - a toy from a Happy Meal, which didn't even work (it's one of those ones you twist the dial on to make it spin, and it was missing the dial).

AIBU to be annoyed about this?

I wasn't expecting dd to come home with anything extravagant btw, just something she'll be able to play with. She hasn't even looked at the Happy Meal toy since she showed me it.

OP posts:

JenaiMorris · 27/02/2013 09:48

Look at me being all French with my "confort"

olgaga · 27/02/2013 09:49

But she's come home with something she chose, for whatever reason - she might like the colour, or be intrigued by it.

She's hardly going to be bothered about the price or condition! She liked it, she chose it, independently. That's the fun of it for her.

Just leave it be. If your daughter is happy with her choice, it's a win-win.

drjohnsonscat · 27/02/2013 09:51

That is a bit annoying. As you say, it's not the money but just the fact that the doll was a meaningful toy and the mcdonalds thing is not. No child can spend more than 30 seconds with a mcdonalds toy. I'm guessing you'd be happy if she came home with a jigsaw or something - not expensive but purposeful.

TomArchersSausage · 27/02/2013 09:52

I think I would have intervened there. Oh well too late now, someone's picked up a bargain.

Children don't tend to look at the cost of things though as a benchmark of value. They can love a MacDonalds toy just as much as an £ thing. It's a nice viewpoint really

Plus3 · 27/02/2013 09:59

Yabu - the doll was of no value to your DD, and she picked something she wanted.
You did the right thing - sent in a toy that could go on & be played with and loved, that was no longer needed in your household. You are not in control of anything else beyond this.

Let it go

EllieArroway · 27/02/2013 09:59

I must have done, Callisto. Just seemed like a stupid remark to me still does.

HopAndSplash · 27/02/2013 09:59

So, of her 2 £60 dolls, she took her old one into school to swap as she didn't want it. And you didn't mind her doing this. I'm therefore assuming money isn't a big issue when it comes to getting new toys (or presumably you'd have sold the more expensive toy to buy her new ones rather than give it away).

It could be the other child doesn't have many toys/shares their toys with a younger sibling so mum just said to get a little toy to take in and they picked that.
Your DD didn't show you the toy, so she's obviously not bothered. And hopefully you've learnt what sort of toy to send next time.

SneakyNinja · 27/02/2013 10:11

Haha kids eh?

Yeah in your position OP, I would be silently gutted but hey what can ya do? Bet the parents of the other child were over the moon!

greenfolder · 27/02/2013 10:20

If i was asked to send a toy in to swap, I would send in a macdonalds toy. its throwaway stuff. i would expect her to bring home similar tat. you were frankly bonkers for sending in a £60 toy and i think the school is bonkers to come up with such a scheme.

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot · 27/02/2013 10:25

There's no way I'd have let her take in such an expensive toy.

She wouldn't compromise - she is a small child, YOU are the parent. She doesn't need to compromise, she needs to do as she's told. Fair enough if she didn't want to choose another toy, then she doesn't get to do the very bloody stupid 'Toy Swap.

What she brought home was pretty crap, but that's the sort of shite that attracts kids isn't it and tbf the parent probably didn't realise it was broken and it was more the level of toy that is expected at these things - not £60 dolls.

Also, why would her GM buy her another when she's shown no interest in the first one? Seems daft to me.

drownangels · 27/02/2013 10:35

TBH why didn't you just say 'No, you are not taking that one in' and if she moaned so be it.
That's what I would have done.

What would you have eventually done with the doll anyway. I gave the toys to the charity shop when my kids out grown them. If you would have done this you have lost nothing.

Pagwatch · 27/02/2013 10:42

Tbh I can see why you would be taken aback but you allowed her to take it in.

Children are not interested in how much things cost. They are also more likely to swop with a friend so your DD chose without factoring price into it. She was always going to do so.

I think you just feel like you have been had which I can understand but honestly don't let a child that small make free choices unless you are genuinely prepared to del with the downside.

BeCool · 27/02/2013 10:49

YABU - there is no loss to you, your DD made her choice re the swap, she's clearly indifferent about the whole thing.

Bin the broken Happy Meal 'toy', be thankful you've recycled an unused toy without gaining another (one less delight cluttering your home up), and don't give it another thought.

mummymeister · 27/02/2013 10:50

Introduce her to ebay for her unwanted toys. your never to young to learn that something expensive that you dont want can easily be sold for something that you do

vesela · 27/02/2013 10:57

I hope the baby doll has a better chance of being played with, now.

But on the other hand, I can understand your sadness - you chose the doll for a present for her, you hoped she would love it and you must have been a bit miffed when her grandmother bought her another one a year later.

CecilyP · 27/02/2013 11:14

I don't think YABU, and if an infant school organises a swap day with such young children, I would expect the staff to take a bit more responsibility for what is swapped. And, in this case, it is not just the relative values of the toys, but also the toy your DD ended up with doesn't even work.

I would complain to the school, and if they are not able to help, make sure you get your DD to take in some valueless tat next time.

FakePlasticLobsters · 27/02/2013 11:27

My Mum and her sister were children in the fifties.

One day when my Nana took my Mum to the dentist they came home to find out my Auntie had given Nana's best coat to the rag and bone man in exchange for two balloons. She always says in her defence that they were those marble effect swirly coloured balloons, so she thought she was getting the better deal.

I can see why receiving a broken toy in exchange is annoying, regardless of where it came from or how much it cost in comparison to the one your daughter exchanged.

Can she take the broken toy back to school and choose something else, or perhaps even get her doll back if nobody chose it?

Feminine · 27/02/2013 11:30

Elephants

atthewelles · 27/02/2013 11:33

I agree that the staff have a responsibility to ensure some quality control in relation to what's put in the pot for swapping. Allowing a broken happy meal toy to be used was foolish of the teacher concerned (and a bit mean of the child's mother).

DesiderataHollow · 27/02/2013 11:33

FakePlasticLobsters... I've heard that story before! Are you related to me I wonder?

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 27/02/2013 11:33

YABU, you let her take the doll. you are the parent and you are in charge. it would have be plainly obvious to me that it isn't going to be swapped with something of equal value as no.other parent in their right mind would send in a £60 toy.

currentbuns · 27/02/2013 11:38

The toy is no longer "worth" £60, because your dd didn't like it anyway, rendering it effectively "worthless." The monetary value is only really relevant if you would otherwise have sold it, but even then, the resale value on eBay is presumably significantly less than £60 anyway.
Is she happy with the toy she swapped it for? If so, YABU.

SirBoobAlot · 27/02/2013 11:44

YABU. You let her choose the doll, and you knew she'd be swapping it. You can't then get pissy with her choice because you'd have done something else.

olgaga · 27/02/2013 11:49

current is right. A second hand Baby Born doll is certainly not worth £60. There's one here, about to go on ebay.

You can pick up tons of BB dolls and accessories very cheaply at any car boot sale!

Stop beating yourself up about the "value" - that simply isn't the point! The point is the children get to choose. If your daughter was bullied into handing her doll over for a piece of tat that would be one thing. If she chose the piece of tat, and is happy with her choice, then you should be happy for her!

drownangels · 27/02/2013 11:52

I really disagree that the staff are there to act as quality control workers.

The parents and children were given the same information - to bring in things that could be swopped. It's not the teachers position to stop 'trade' between the kids, it's up to the parents to decide what toys the child takes in to be swopped.

Once the teachers start putting their own value on things the whole bring and swop becomes pointless.

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