To despise my boss..... I think she's a bully

[Blurry29]

Ok, I am aware where I'm posting BUT would genuinely like some perspective and opinions please.

In my opinion she is a bully. She is unprofessional beyond the extreme. She will often play different shifts off against each other but will deny all knowledge when all staff are together

Brings far too much of her personal life into work but scolds quite openly when others do the same. She will berate a staff member who mentions any personal info during a handover shift.

I am aware that she is in an EA marriage and I do feel for her in this respect, he is awful to her BUT I do also believe she takes this hurt and anger out on unassuming girls at work.

Most of the time she will openly bully and embarrass some of the younger girls but this has now moved on to a small collection of staff (myself included)

I have only been with the firm for 18 months but this has been going on for a few years now, it has resulted in the girls writing anon letters and holding one to ones with general mangers but to no avail.

My boss is in a stressful position, that I understand but seems to be taking this stress to the extreme.

There are currently no conduct or work issues with any of the staff and if there ever is an issue there is a routine in place to deal with these.

We are a great bunch, we have shown her massive support in times of stress, taking on extra hours, extra work etc we've even clubbed together for flowers and gifts when we know she is low but it all seems to be forgotten now.

She has started ignoring some of us when we speak also, give the job we do, it's hard to ignore staff when communication is so important.

I am lucky to be leaving soon but the problem will continue which is a shame

There is one girl in particular who she is vile too, really really awful, but the girl just says "oh I get used to it now so what's the point in fighting it"

I suppose my questions are;

What can we do now?

If I ask for a one to one with her would it cause issues down the line with finding a new job?

Anyone got any experience?

AIBU to really really dislike her??

I hate bully's and feel there is no place for them anywhere but don't want to get myself into trouble either.....

Thanks x

If she is bullying then this needs adressing. It seems to have been going on for far too long.

My best friend is currently going through a similar situation and I will give you the same advice I gave her, try to resolve it with her first hand but if it doesnt change or gets worse, report it to her senior or to HR. Even better, get the other girls she has bullied to report it as well. It wouldnt cause issues for you getting a new job, it should be kept confidential.

The woman in my company has already had 1 complaint against her for unfair dismissal. Now she is getting worse to the point where the entire team are complaining to my friend about her treatment of them. My friend tried to resolve it with her, but she has now started bullying my friend.

There is no place for bullies no matter what age they are!

What industry are you in, there was a lady who o used to work for in a pub who was a lot like this, and because the staff were mostly casual, there werenno formal contracts and we had no access to her line manager or any of the higher Ups in the company and no real protection, it felt as though we had no option but to accept her behaviour, I've left now, but always felt that we were treated badly. What is it like in terms of security and more senior staff for you?

'What can we do now?

If I ask for a one to one with her would it cause issues down the line with finding a new job?

Anyone got any experience?

AIBU to really really dislike her??

I hate bully's and feel there is no place for them anywhere but don't want to get myself into trouble either.....'

I would leave it. You have tried this

'it has resulted in the girls writing anon letters and holding one to ones with general mangers but to no avail.'

so I doubt anything you do now will work. It is possible that management see it differently, and it is also possible that you may be misreading some of her actions.

I think you are possibly BU to dislike her so much.

I think I dislike her so much because I dislike bullying. I dislike people that abuse their power which I think she does.

I do appreciate every ones comments though xx

clearly the company won't do anything, some managers are teflon-coated however crap they are. I would hate to speculate on why this happens.

you are taking the only possible action - to leave.

I would suggest writing down specific examples including dates and times and any witnesses. Take this to HR if you have HR or senior mngmt if not. It is difficult to do anything about anonymous letters, you need to give specific instances.

In my experience it sometimes just takes a word from HR or a senior manager.