Have NCed as Dh knows my nickname and obviously I dont want him to know this is me...
Things have been a bit hard for DH recently for various reasons and he is missing his friends a bit. His birthday is in a couple of months and so I would like to throw him a surprise party. He's 25, so not milestone, but enough of a step to warrant a decent party.
Slight issue is that one of his best friends has the same birthday as him. it's never been an issue in the past as they've always had joint parties/dinners/drinks, and to be honest I would have been happy to continue this tradition (as would DH) had it not been for last year. Last year, the BF's DP (who I shold mention is also one of my DH's best friends, them all having gone to uni together) organised him a party for the BF without even mentioning it to my DH. It was a bit shocking when she invited me and DH to this party which was held on their joint birthday date without even so much as an acknowledgement that DH might not be able/want to come due to the date. DH wasn't that keen on going as he knew it was the BF's sole party, meaning that onlty the BF's friends would be there, rather than a mixture of their friends like normal - they have mutual friends, but obviously other separate groups of friends that usually come together on that date too.
She did this about a month before his birthday so it was too early for us to have arranged anything. We did some things with DH's other group of friends, but all of their mutual friends did go to the BF's party as it was organised first. Glad we didn't go in the end as it turned out she'd got a cake just for the BF with his name on it and iniststed on giving him his presents at the party etc etc.
Anyway, none of that was really anything to get too "knickers in a knot" about, it's just that i am worried about organisaing DH a surprise party because of the mutual friend situation. If I just go ahead and arrange it, I'm as bad as her and do exactly what she did last year, putting mutual friends in an awkward situation and being rude to her and the BF, but otherwise, I have to ask her first and i feel a bit reluctant to do this given the lack of courtesy from her last year and the fact that making it a joint party sort of takes away the point of it.
I am happy to make it a different date and can tell her this, but should I really even be worrying? WIBU to just organise it and stuff her?