I've arranged to take my mum out to lunch on Mother's Day, and my two children will be coming as well as they want to be with me on Mothers' Day. This is the first time I'll have done this as we used to live away and didn't tend to see my mum on Mothers' Day as she used to spend it with my late grandma.
Now my mum has asked if her partner can come along too and is cross with me for not inviting him in the first place. I don't really want him to come because
a) I really can't afford to pay for him and he always, always orders the most expensive things on the menu if he's not paying, which he rarely is. However, my mum has said she will pay for him so he can come;
b) I wanted to do something with just our family, and he has made it clear that he doesn't see himself as part of the family, doesn't want the children to call him grandpa etc etc (he decided this after about six years of them calling him that, so it's kind of stuck, but that's the sort of man he is), doesn't come to their birthday parties, doesn't do cards or presents etc (although we do for him);
c) he is grumpy and antisocial and won't talk to us. My mum brought him along on my birthday meal and he didn't say two words, let alone happy birthday. He was in my house yesterday and didn't even say hello.
I will probably end up having him along just to make life easier and avoid an argument with my mum, but I feel the niceness has gone from this occasion and I don't really want to do it now. AIBU to just want a meal with my mother on Mothers' Day?