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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to strangle Super Nanny?

77 replies

HenD19 · 26/02/2013 10:05

Don't get me wrong, I love JoJo and have extensively watched her shows but rapid return with your own child in the middle of the night is so frustrating and not half as easy as watching her and her clients do it on tv. After nearly 3 hours my DS aged 2.3 finally went to sleep. DS, DH and I are exhausted. Just hope it takes less time tonight as promised by S Nanny as I will hunt her down and ......

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SirBoobAlot · 27/02/2013 11:37

Bearbehind - oh sod off.

There were complications with my last operation, which he wasn't at all bothered by, and I ended up coming home a day later than was thought. I'm a single mum, so that meant he was with my parents all day, which hadn't been the plan. I've been visiting different hospitals for the last six months, which he is aware of, because again, he either has to come with me, or someone else has to look after him when they wouldn't normally. He also knows that I am poorly because my pain is to the point I cannot get on the floor / cannot have him on my lap for stories / anything else we would normally do.

I am in no way projecting my anxiety, he is anxious. He told me he was anxious about it, and told me exactly what he is worried about - logical three year old concerns. He is very articulate, and I have always focused on allowing him to express himself. We've talked about what's worrying him, and gone over exactly what is going to happen whilst I am in hospital and when I get home.

He is going to sleep normally, and then wanting to come in and cuddle at 2am. We used to co-sleep, then he started preferring his own space, so if he is now coming back into me, I know it's for a reason.

And for you information, I'm fucking terrified. They will be doing anything between blasting away endo to a hysterectomy, and I won't know until I wake up. In front of DS, I've been very practical, and made it an exciting adventure to Nanny's house, to the point that he said to me this morning, "Can you have your operation today please, Mummy, I want to go to my sleepover!". So I'm not projecting. But he is three, and a very aware three, both because he is bright, and because he has seen my heath deteriorating. He wants me to have the operation so we can play again, but is worried because it didn't go to plan last time. Which is entirely understandable.

So you can fuck right off.

Bearbehind · 27/02/2013 12:56

sirboobalot you do sound like you are having a shit time and I am sorry if I have upset/ offended you.

I just genuinely found it interesting that you were so dismissive of someone who has made a career from working with children and has cleary helped many people. She obviously has a substantial knowledge of children so even if you don't agree with her methods I don't think she can be dismissed as what she does works for some people.

I suppose the point is everyone is different and deals with things in different ways.

badtasteflump · 27/02/2013 13:06

I would like to put Supernanny on the naughty step until she learns to stop 'tawkin' like Chas & Dave Grin

SirBoobAlot · 27/02/2013 14:53

I'm dismissive of someone who handles situations badly. I also find it incredibly frustrating that she and others like her make their fortunes from dismissing normal child behavior as a problem. Especially small babies.

As parents we often have unrealistic expectations of children, and these people encourage them.

Jo Frost especially has no childcare qualifications, and no children. She has made her money out of frightening children into behaving the way she wants them to - sitting on the naughty step until they apologise?! - and thus not actually looking at the reasons they are behaving that way.

Leadership though force earns you fear, not respect. That is my big issue with her. No one is asking the children what is wrong.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 27/02/2013 14:55

I have tried absolutely everything to get my DS to sleep through the night without calling out.

I have now given up and am waiting for him to grow out of it. I have today ordered him a new bed, a small double bed, to make life more comfortable.

He calls out in the night because he is frightened and anxious and no way am I leaving him feeling like that....might work for some but not for us.

IfNotNowThenWhen · 27/02/2013 15:07

snowme I don't really think it is a good idea to "bend to your childs will" at all times Hmm
Children have to fit in with a family, and learn to fit in with what the world they live in does, i.e sleep at night, do things in the day.
If I bent to ds's will I would be unemployed, living in a house made of chocolate with a 300" TV showing nothing but Cartoon Network 24 hours a day.

I also don't think you necessarily need to sacrifice "everything" until they go to school.
For me, that would have meant sacrificing my sanity (which would happen v. v quickly for me on 4 years of sleep deprivation).
Better a sane (ish) mother and a child who sometimes has to suck it up imo.

fedupwithdeployment · 27/02/2013 15:10

I am lucky and my DSs have always slept well (combination of Baby Whisperer and a bit of early evening routine from Gina Ford). But I have a friend who sounds like she is having terrible sleep problems with her 2.5 year old - any suggestions as to which book might be best? She lives abroad and I am seeing her next week. What worked for me is fairly irrelevant for her.

ComposHat · 27/02/2013 15:19

She's a loud mouthed moron who knows next to nothing, how she has managed to eek out a TV career on both sides of the Atlantic amazes me.

Most of all I can't stand the way she pronounces acceptable as 'asseptable'

It makes me grind my teeth in horror every time she says it.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 27/02/2013 15:45

fedup I have read a lot of them and just adapt to what DD needs. I don't like baby whisperer and gina ford myself. For a toddler, I really like toddler taming. It has a sleep chapter but it's a more general book on how to deal with tantrums. For sleep, the author recommends control crying. But he explained it very well that the key is not let the toddler be hysterical. It's not about increasing the time between going in. DD used to wake up to get into our bed. I've tried CC before but she got so hysterical after 10min. After reading toddler taming's CC technique, I changed to going in every 5-10min instead. And it worked because DD didn't have time to get herself into a right state.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 27/02/2013 15:47

But actually at 2.5 years, I assume your friends little one will no longer be in a cot, isn't it? Mine is still in a cot and grobag.

HenD19 · 27/02/2013 19:54

38 returns to bed and I didn't particularly stay calm. In the end I sat next to him as was do pissed off with the whole thing and he fell asleep in about 2 mins! I'd experimented with him today by not letting him sleep too. He will def be having a nap tomorrow......exhausted.

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cumfy · 27/02/2013 20:55

I just had a look at a clip on her website.

Reminds me of why I don't watch TV any more.

LadyKinbote · 27/02/2013 21:25

I've always been absolutely convinced Jo Frost had a son! A quick google has proved you all right, she has no children. No idea where the fictitious son came from...

maddening · 27/02/2013 21:30

If he normally went to bed ok and has been teething and possibly hasn't finished I would suspect teething - have you tried calpol these nights?

HenD19 · 28/02/2013 13:10

Not teething now just being awkward. I sobbed in the night as I'm so tired, I feel I'll, my husband has gone skiing for 5 nights, our extension is stating on Monday and DS was awake and in and out of bed from 2.30-4am. I don't think 'super'nanny's return to bed works....it's a myth.

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HenD19 · 28/02/2013 13:11

'I'll and 'starting'

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HenD19 · 28/02/2013 13:12

Aaah 'ill'

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fedupwithdeployment · 28/02/2013 14:53

Thanks One Toddler Terror - I will see what he's like when I visit, and may send her a copy later!

Kiwiinkits · 28/02/2013 20:48

You have to bend to their will,not the other way round.
Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me...
no wonder you're knackered!

JiltedJohnsJulie · 14/03/2013 19:54

forgetme, if you are thinking of bfing I'd give Tracy Hogg a miss, she's on the Kellymom: books to avoid list and her feed then activity routine is very counterintuitive for a bf baby. Most will feed to sleep, in fact ats one of the benefits of bfing, you know you can knock them out with a feed.

Try Babycalming by Caroline Deacon instead. I read it before having dc2and she was a very happy and content baby. Only wish I'd read it before having dc1.

forgetmenots · 14/03/2013 20:08

Thanks jiltedjohnsjulie (great name!)

The breast feeding part was one of the bits I was going to leave out as I admit I found it a bit hard to process - I was more intrigued by her method of interpreting cries and settling baby. I will definitely check out the one you've recommended though, thanks for the tip!

JiltedJohnsJulie · 14/03/2013 20:11

Has the baby arrived yet?

forgetmenots · 14/03/2013 20:16

No, got a couple of months to get thinking!

JiltedJohnsJulie · 14/03/2013 20:21

Lovely time of year to have a baby, I had dc1in the spring and can remember lots of lovely long walks Smile

RobinOgg · 14/03/2013 20:22

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