to think warning your neighbours you're going to have an all-night party doesn't make it ok?

[getmeaginandtonicnow]

I've often heard people say that if you tell neighbours in advance, then they won't be annoyed on the night. I don't understand why. It's still annoying!

The woman behind me came round on Sat to say, yet again, that they were going to have a party that night. It went on until 5am, all her windows open, my house shaking with the noise. I wouldn't mind if special occasion etc, but she does it every few weeks. What use is it me knowing in advance? I mean, I can't exactly move out for the night or anything! She genuinely thinks politely telling people beforehand makes it ok to then ruin their night. She's a nice person apart from this, I find it really strange.

[BinarySolo]

I really sympathise. We had a neighbour who used to listen to his music and have he tv on at maximum volume. He'd smoke pot and stay up until about 5 am. Not funny when you've got work the next day. I had a particularly early start one day and it went on until about 3 am - I was leaving the house at 6 am. I cried that night, but wouldn't let dh knock on the door as the neighbour had been drinking and smoking dope with a rough-looking mate. I still have an aversion to Coldplay and Faithless, I can't get no sleep. Oh the irony.

We'd also hear him argue\had sex with his gf. Nice!

[KellyElly]

Call your local council noise nuisance team. Ours are just fabulous. They come once & measure the decibels, and issue a warning.

[atthewelles]

YANBU. When people say 'warn your neighbours' they are usually talking about a one off event eg a 21st birthday party and even then they usually invite the neighbours to come in for a drink as a courtesy and assure them that the music will be switched off by a certain time.

The people next door to my mother have two sons who used to have parties nearly every second weekend that went on until all hours. It was incredibly annoying. The people on the other side had one or two parties for special events. Always invited my mum in for a drink and always made sure the noise was kept well down after midnight. Needless to say, their kids have grown up to be lovely adults while the other pair are still inconsiderate yobs.

[mrsjay]

Yanbu till 5 am is taking the piss we live in flats and have a young guy living next door he has a few parties but mostly women clip clopping out the building at daft oclock I wouldnt put up with music till 5 am

[ubik]

the students upstairs warned us of a 21st birthday party - and as it was a one off we didn't complain even though they were still going at 7.30am (music had been turned off in the early hrs though)

I can forgive a special event/one off, but every few weeks is just too much. Send the noise team round.

[EldritchCleavage]

When she comes round, you negotiate. Our neighbour's son did this, and I said 'Music off by 1am though, yes?' He was a bit taken aback, but agreed.

And in your case, I think you have to say it is happening too often and you're not happy.

[digerd]

I've never had, wanted or been able to do an all night party until 5.am. How old is she , a teenager? And all windows open in the winter ? What are they doing to get them so hot? Jumping up and down all night?

What do the other neighbours say?
Not only do I find it really strange but also intolerable.

[samandi]

If they've come round to warn you that shows an element of consideration. I would feel more happy about going over to complain if a neighbour had warned me first. Perhaps she doesn't realise how loud it is - I would go over and talk to her. The windows should be closed and the music turned down to a reasonable volume after midnight at the least.

If it's a one off I'm inclined to think fair enough, but I know how annoying it is when neighbours have parties so frequently. It is inconsiderate, and she needs to be told!