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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be this fecked off with dh, dm and mil. Especially Mil. (long, sorry)

34 replies

MsWetherwax · 25/02/2013 19:51

I know I am really, but I am so fucking annoyed!

I had an Emergency C Section when I had dd two years ago. She was whisked straight down to special care unit, and was bought up to the ward an hour or so later when I'd come round. Everyone round the bed so we all met her at the same time. I would have liked a bit of time on my own really, but was too tired to argue.

Today, out of the blue, mil says 'looking back, I feel a bit sorry for you, being out cold like that when she was born. You should have seen her first really' I was a bit Confused so asked what she meant.

Turns out that they all traipsed down to the fucking ward without me to have a look at her first! Angry Then lied about it for the next two years! Fuckers.

I'm fucked off with them all, but really, if you've kept schtum for 2 years, why tell me now? I know it isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I'm gutted nobody thought 'hang on a minute, maybe we should wait for MsWetherwax' :(

OP posts:
TwelveLeggedWalk · 25/02/2013 21:31

The lying is shit. No question about that. But look on the positives, your DD came into the world surrounded by people who loved her and wanted to see her and take care of her. They wanted to protect you at the time, which is understandable. They shouldn't have strung it out so much. But it could've been a lot worse (of course it's not a competition, but for example it was nearly 12 hours before anyone other than medical staff saw my two as I was wiped out and DH was on a mad tour of Eastern European airports trying to get back!)

sukysue · 25/02/2013 22:29

Look this is just awful but turn it around and put urself in their shoes wunt u rather babs had some adoring ppl looking after her till u were able to. I had this happen to me but don't let it upset u they didn't mean any harm and thought they were doing right .

rhondajean · 25/02/2013 22:41

I had an emcs - dd was a 32 weeker - they held her up to me but I had no glasses on and they would have been as well showing me the placenta...

I hunted DH down to the SCBU to be with her because I knew I would be ok.

But I asked him to go, I wanted someone with her, I wanted to know she was okay. I totally understand why they went but at this point, why the blazes didn't they just keep Sctum!

Andro · 25/02/2013 23:48

The lying is what would infuriate me, totally out of order! The fact that they would lie for so long about something they much have known would be important to you, would seriously impact on how much trust you have in them - what else would/are they lying about?

spiritedaway · 26/02/2013 00:34

Just imagine they were trying to protect the hormonal post labour you and not the general you. Has this lie been reiterated over the years? If not then i imagine they were just being kind and i bet they felt emotional at the time baby was placed in your arms because that was the most amazing bit and you were both ok.

HairyHandedTrucker · 26/02/2013 01:57

yanbu

honeytea · 26/02/2013 08:17

It was horrible of them to have done that.

If I were in your situation I would be most angry with my dp, it should have been him sticking up for you really.

13Iggis · 26/02/2013 08:17

OP you haven't said if you've raised this with any of the others there - your dh being the most obvious one?
Perhaps they did not intend to lie, until mil came out with the "we waited for you" line.

HeathRobinson · 26/02/2013 09:10

Have you annoyed mil today? Just wondering what prompted her to tell you.

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