To feel pushed out by this?

[Baroozer]

I am supposed to be going out for a meal with friends in a month. I said from the beginning that I couldn't do Friday because it's my parents' wedding anniversary. Yesterday Friend A said she can't do Saturday. Friend B immediately suggested Sunday as we are all free, but Friend A said they should do Friday, just the two of them, and then do another meal in few months which we can all go to.

Friend A and I live quite close to each other, but Friend B lives over an hour away and looks after her elderly mother, so it's unlikely that she'll be able to get out for another meal any time soon. She's only able to come over to visit us because her mother is going into respite for the weekend.

AIBU to think that Friend A is being really selfish about this?

It does seem a bit selfish, but could it be that she was hoping for a night out rather than a Sunday lunch type things?

YABU.

You don't all need to see each other at the same time. Can you not go and see friend B instead at a later date, it may be easier for her to see you if there's no travel time involved. Perhaps Sunday isn't particularly convenient for one reason or another for Friend A.

or

do you have to see your parents on their anniversary? Can you not go out with your friends instead and see your parents beforehand (obviously, if it's a big anniversary with a party then I could see why not)

There may be other reasons that Friend A needs/wants to do the Friday, completely separate from your being able to make it or not.

Tbh, I'm trying g to persuade myself that noyhing good comes from over thinking. Don't analyse it too much - take it at face value - or you'll just get really worked up about something that probably doesn't need to get worked up about.

Sorry, I realise I didn't explain enough.

I can't go and visit Friend B easily because her mother has dementia and gets very upset if there are people she doesn't recognise or can't remember in the house. I have offered several times.

It is my parents' 40th wedding anniversary and family are coming from all over. I really can't leave because me and my sister are hosting it.

Friend A has never said that Sunday is not convenient for her. Originally we had agreed that Saturday was best for all of us, and I am not cross that she can't do Saturday. Sunday isn't that convenient for me, I have a presentation a work on Monday so I was planning to spend Sunday tweaking it.

I wonder how Friend A would feel if I'd said that Friend B and I should do Saturday without her.

Test it Say you can wait to see friend B and can you all stick to the saturday as arranged.

Turns out I don't need to, Doris. Friend B has told Friend A that she would rather do Sunday and see both of us. Friend A has sent a curt email asking if it would be better if she didn't come at all. I am very glad I didn't say anything and I will keep out of their discussion.

she doesn't like it when the boots on the other foot- well done friend B!