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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this school girl talk a bit depressing

29 replies

whoneedssleepanyway · 25/02/2013 08:55

On the way to work this morning three school girls were talking on the bus (prob about 14/15) and two of them were saying their dads had promised them a car at 17 if they weren't pregnant and hadn't been kicked out of school.

Each to their own I guess and yes none of my business but just to me a reward like a car surely should be for some big achievement and it kind of makes it seem the expectation is for them to get pregnant and get kicked out of school so if they don't that is exceptional...? How does that teach them to aim high and have ambitions and goals and about earning things not getting something for nothing.

OP posts:
WheresMrMonkey · 25/02/2013 08:58

They are probably just exaggerating, lying, showing off etc. Remember all doing it at that age! In a few years I bet they would be embarrassed to know they had been heard

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 25/02/2013 09:03

YABU don't eavesdrop. Or at least eavesdrop on something more interesting & less likely to be exaggerated/made up

MadCap · 25/02/2013 09:05

Meh...my parents bought me a car for my 16th. My dh's parent gave him their old car when he turned 17. We'll probably give our two a car to share when they're old enough. Cars are a bit of a necessity if you don't want to ferry your kids about constantly once they're old enough to drive.

I do agree with you about the pregnancy/kicked out of school thing. Not very ambitious. That said if I wanted to drive my car I had to stay on the honour roll at school, but that was mostly because it got my parents a discount on my insurance.

Patchouli · 25/02/2013 09:05

Do you think there's a chance they knew they were within earshot of miss-judgey-pants-eavesdropper?

Original poster
whoneedssleepanyway · 25/02/2013 09:05

Babies do you travel on packed public transport in rush hour? You don't have a choice what you overhear!

OP posts:
Original poster
whoneedssleepanyway · 25/02/2013 09:07

Crikey might of known having an opinion on something would get me a flaming...!!!

OP posts:
melika · 25/02/2013 09:09

YANBU. T'is so depressing.

weegiemum · 25/02/2013 09:13

It is depressing, but I've taught some girls who I wish had as much ambition as these girls Sad

Patchouli · 25/02/2013 09:25

I was hoping you'd Grin
not feel flamed

sorry.

livinginwonderland · 25/02/2013 09:26

yanbu, and i wouldn't be so sure that they're exaggerating/lying either. i do know girls who got cars/money/new computers for finishing school without getting pregnant.

i also don't think cars are necessarily rewards for a lot of people. if you live in the middle of nowhere with no transport system, a car is generally a necessity if you want any kind of job or social life.

BlatantLies · 25/02/2013 09:28

I bet they were having a laugh......

badtemperedaldbitch · 25/02/2013 09:28

actually... you dont know thier background... or their siblings... or thier family situation.

Personally I heard... My Parents care enough about me to want me to stay in school and will reward me with a car.

in this day and age kids thier age are being rewarded for being pregant with thier own HOME!

Yes i think its sad, but crikey, good on those parents for AT LEAST TRYING

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 25/02/2013 09:29

Likewise. ^

But yes, travelled in smelly man's armpit tube for many years. If not listening to iPod, I would hear many convos. Rarely took a teen chat v seriously or shared.

But here, have an extinguisher. If its true, which is possible, but not THAT likely, then it is very sad. Would only be depressing if it was endemic. Which it's not.

babiesinslingsgetcoveredinfood · 25/02/2013 09:30

Ooh, other posts overtook. I meant likewise with patchouli

mamalovesmojitos · 25/02/2013 09:30

What badtemperedaldbitch said.

FellatioNels0n · 25/02/2013 09:30

To be honest if I had teenagers daughters and their peer group consisted of loads of pregnant school refusniks I'd be quite likely might try that method as well.

Missbopeep · 25/02/2013 09:37

YANBU

It only goes to show what low expectations their parents must have.

Why should giirls be rewarded for avoiding situations they should bloody well be avoiding anyway- through their own behavour not parental bribes?

How much better if they had been promised a reward for doing really well in their GCSEs or A levels.

Original poster
whoneedssleepanyway · 25/02/2013 09:37

Grin at babies and patchouli

Maybe this is what it takes...!

OP posts:
AlfalfaMum · 25/02/2013 09:44

I sort of get where you're coming from, but I suppose it's just trying to provide an incentive to stay at school/not get pg (if it's even true). Ironically, they would need the car much more if they had a baby! In fact, I think that's the only circumstances under which I would give one of mine a car Grin

Teenagers do talk some bollocks at times, though.. DH was giving DD1 and her friend a lift and overheard this conversation about Chris Brown: DD1 "I don't like him since I heard what he did to Rihanna" Friend: "oh she probably asked for it". Now that's depressing!

Eliza22 · 25/02/2013 09:51

I find teenagers impossible not to overhear. They seem to shout everything. There's nowt subtle about this generation! Perhaps it's all the iPods and loud music....they're all a bit deaf and have to shout. Or, perhaps they think they're so interesting, they need to share everything with everyone.

FellatioNels0n · 25/02/2013 09:58

I agree. Impossible not to overhear and yet, impossible to decipher. Confused

Rhiannon86 · 25/02/2013 11:06

This reply has been deleted

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flaggybannel · 25/02/2013 11:11

I think at least the parents are trying.

All i was promised for the day i finished school was a hand packing my bags. I was expected to move out on my last day of term- where to?- no idea.
I spent the time i should of been studying worrying about where i was goin to live , thanks mum and sdad.

I have told ds he can live with me how ever long he likes and even though money is tight he gets a treat every half term he is in school. Most of his peers have dropped out or been excluded .
If a promise of a car is what it takes then so be it.

ivykaty44 · 25/02/2013 11:13

perhaps not getting pregnant and staying in school is aiming high where they come from and there fathers are trying hard to get them to achieve one step at a time

ATJabberwocky · 25/02/2013 11:24

Yes I am going to say this ... back in my day ... I, or any of my friends did not get bribes rewards for normal things like not getting pregnant, and working hard in school.

If we wanted a car when we were 16 we got a part time job.

It's the 16+ equivalent of a star chart for a spoiled toddler, and i don't see why any of you are indulging them for 'normal' behavior, and allowing them to sit in and watch TV whilst you slave away at work to provide them with all the items they want.