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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Exchanging gift cards

15 replies

erowid · 24/02/2013 15:19

My mother gave me a £50 M&S gift card for Christmas just gone and told me to get something nice for myself. I've had a look round the store but I couldn't find anything I liked the look of. So it was sat in the drawer doing nothing.

A friend of mine mentioned she found a dress in M&S for about £60 that she wanted to get. So I asked her if she would buy the gift card off me and use it and use it towards buying the dress seeing as she was going to buy it anyway. She agreed and gave me £50 cash and I gave her the gift card.

So last week I went to the charity shops and got myself 3 pairs of jeans, 2 tops, 2 knitted cardigans, a scarf and just enough left over for a haircut at the local hairdressing college and a chocolate bar. Brilliant! or so I thought....

Mum then comes round and asks what did I buy with the gift card. I told her I sold it and bought lots of other things from the charity shop instead and she was livid! She said it was rude and ungrateful to sell it on and she wanted me to buy something nice for myself. I tried explaining to her that the gift was surely just a cash value and I just changed where I would spend the money.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
lurkerspeaks · 24/02/2013 15:21

I wouldn't have confessed. I'd hae just said I hadn't spent it yet....

I often use giftcards for food.

In fact my Dad gave me his Christmas M&S one the other day to buy food as he owed me money and knew I was going to M&S on the way home.

BambieO · 24/02/2013 15:22

I don't think YABU, it's hard if you don't like the style of the shop. Would she rather you spent it on food or homeware? As it was you got some lovely things. Maybe she was just hurt that she got you a gift you couldn't use. Are you close? Maybe she thought she knew what you liked and is a bit upset she doesn't.

squeakytoy · 24/02/2013 15:25

You probably shouldnt have told her. I would have been a bit hurt if I had been your mother. It sounds like she wanted you to treat yourself to something NEW...

erowid · 24/02/2013 15:44

I would have just not told her but she asked to see what I had bought.

I'm not a big clothes shopper and I knew she wanted to treat me so I thought buying lots of cheaper second hand stuff and a haircut would be a better treat than just 1 or 2 new items. (same reason why I didn't want to spend it on food or homeware items)

I just always thought a gift card is like giving cash. Is it not up to the recipient how they want to spend it?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 24/02/2013 15:46

Well it is upto the recipient what they buy, but you would expect them to spend it in the store it was given them for..

I do find it hard to believe that there was nothing at all in M & S that you could have got..

MrsLouisTheroux · 24/02/2013 17:23

She probably wanted to buy you something you wouldn't usually buy yourself (yes, one or two new items rather than an armful of second hand things). She's disappointed as she probably wanted to treat you to something special and you chose to buy ordinary stuff.

I can't believe that in the whole of M+S you couldn't find anything you liked yet managed to find loads in the charity shops.

MrsLouisTheroux · 24/02/2013 17:24

YABU.

CloudsAndTrees · 24/02/2013 18:24

YABU. She got you the gift card because she wanted to get you something new.

stifnstav · 24/02/2013 19:16

I have done exactly the same as you OP, but for different reasons. Got a £20 voucher for a very expensive shop I never go in, where £20 wouldn't actually go very far so I'd end up putting more money in. Plus it would've cost at least £15 in petrol to go to said shop!

Colleague was going there to spend a fortune on makeup so I sold it to her. Win win!

mynewpassion · 24/02/2013 19:19

Sometimes its just better to lie and this case required a white lie.

montage · 24/02/2013 19:41

You have to make sure you select something new-looking with an M&S label from the charity shop when you do this OP Wink.

Oxfam tend to carry a fair bit of M&S stuff (due to those vouchers they give people who donate M&S stuff to their shops).

Jengnr · 24/02/2013 19:52

I don't understand the problem tbh. YANBU.

breatheslowly · 24/02/2013 20:06

YANBU - this article demonstrates that ifts of vouchers are valued by the recipient as less than the cash equivalent. You are lucky to have found someone to buy it off you for face value.

Fluffeh · 24/02/2013 21:35

YANBU a relative has an obsession with m&s and buys me and other family members gift cards for Xmas and birthdays etc. I have yet to find one item of clothing in there that I would wear anywhere other than bed so I usually swap it with a friend/family member.
However I don't tell the voucher buyer that.

midastouch · 24/02/2013 21:38

YANBU I would have brought chocolate ,cakes and wine with the gift card though!

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