to wonder if it really is possible to 'have it all'??

[2anddone]

Before anyone says anything I am not judging anybody just genuinely interested!
I am currently studying for my degree and eventually hope to have a career. Up until now i have had jobs, been a sahm and have finally plucked up the courage to study for something i have always wanted to do. Ds is at school and dd will be in year 2 by the time i qualify. I am already freaking out that after years of being able to drop everything to be there for them if they are ill or doing something at school i will have to miss it as will be working. Don't get me wrong i am looking forward to getting back to the 'adult world' and actually earning a decent salary but can i do that and still be there for my dc when they need me? I know i probably Abu as i really can't see how i can have a career and be there at the drop of a hat for my dc!

I couldnt handle it. Mainy my home life suffered and I was a snappy irritable parent. I quit. There shouldnt be any shame in not being able to handle it....we put ourselves under so much pressure as a generation.

I'll go back to work eventually, but right now...not for us.

I think it is easier to say that as a couple you can have it all, I think DH and I have it all. Wonderful family, I am a teacher so have the holidays and most of the weekends with them. DH had flexibility in the working day so he can stay at home if that are sick or go to concerts . We have a strong marriage and are both healthy .We have been able to have as many children as we wished and hope to have at least one more.

We both earn good wages , have a beautiful home, lovely holidays . We can afford quality in the home childcare when it is needed.

We are lucky , although to have all the above we have very long days.

What kind of shifts would those be that means your dh has never done any childcare? Surely there must be times when he is at home and awake?

I think it is perfectly possible to combine children with working, but it does require a shift in attitude and one of the most important things is everybody being flexible in their thinking. So your dh needs to be on board, he needs to see what he can do to enable this, have an attitude that sickness and emergencies are also his responsibility, and that even at times when he can't physically be there, he has an equal responsibility for coming up with a plan.

My dh has a 6 hour daily commute; so it would take him 3 hours to get back in an emergency. Naturally, it would normally be me who were to rush home in a daytime emergency (at least while he is new in his job as he is now), but he is involved in the whole planning operation, knows where everybody ought to be and what they ought to be doing, keeps in touch on his mobile.