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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

was i being rude to tidy away jigsaws

25 replies

fluckered · 23/02/2013 21:14

met my sis at her sil house today (we live far apart and was only chance to meet up havent seen her since xmas nor my niece/nephew whom i adore). her sil is lovely with 3 kids and beautiful home. gets a cleaner in once a week.

anyways kids were playing in play room and the floor was FULL of at least 12 different jigaws all scattered everywhere. while her sil was preparing lunch i played with kids and just started tidying them away in their right boxes. i am a bit ocd over ds's jigsaws and convince dp that the only reason i order chinese take aways is to keep the containers for jigsaws. plus i really dont see the point of them if not seperated and in a box surely the child can play with them properly. threw a few big toys in toy boxes off the floor also.

my sis comes in and says "will ye stop, dont be so rude!" i then felt embarrassed and stopped. i left later on but would hate to think her sil thought i was rude or that i thought her house was messy. its not. its a beautiful home. but just toy room was upside down imo and was doing it before i realised.

was i being rude?

OP posts:

HobKnob · 23/02/2013 21:15

no.

BamBamAndPebbles · 23/02/2013 21:18

No, not rude.

Considerate. If the dc had finished playing with them.

Original poster

fluckered · 23/02/2013 21:19

they werent bein played with at all only walked on!! they were everywhere all mixed up. but thanks anyways. was trying to think how i'd feel about someone i hardly know kinda rearranging and tidying up in my home and tbh think i'd be thinking "jaysus she think my house is messy or something?" was that close to feckin them all back on the ground was so embarrassed.

OP posts:

Cherriesarelovely · 23/02/2013 21:20

Not rude at all I am not tidy at all and would welcome a guest like you! X

BarbarianMum · 23/02/2013 21:20

I think its rude to tidy up other people's houses unless invited to do so tbh. If you wanted to help it would have been better to ask her if she would like a hand with anything. But it doesn't sound like a very big deal - not like you got the hoover out

itsakindarabbit · 23/02/2013 21:20

Ywnbu.

Though i felt the same when i escorted my young dc to a party the other week - birthdsychild took all the presents upstairs and opened thrm with noone around.

Later on 8 four yr old girls were messing about taking all of thetiny pieces out of the present we had broughti took said present off themand insisted on building itproperylrather than let them scatter pieces everywhere but ifelt like a right mesly mouthed killjoy for doing it!

wonderingsoul · 23/02/2013 21:22

wow.

this is the norm for us in my circle of friends. if there's lunch or before we leave. we do a quick pick up. it's rude not to imo

changeforthebetter · 23/02/2013 21:23

Hmm, I might feel a bit "organised" if you did that here.... But n the other hand, feck it, I could use the help No one ever comes and helps me with anything house-related (though lovely cousins did mind the kids while I dashed out to buy food for friends' coming round for dinner-no-kids)

Original poster

fluckered · 23/02/2013 21:24

at parties amongst family they are always so good to help clean up but they fuck everything into the toy box. i say "ah dont bother sit down and have a cuppa" where as i'm really thinking i have to fish half of them back out and put them back where they normally go. am realising i sound unhinged. but i think i would have got the hump if a visitor left and i walked into a room later on that night and thought who tidied up here and realised it was the visitor. tidying up after your own kids after a play date is one thing but it was a bomb site to begin with and no hiding the fact someone tidied up.

OP posts:

JeeanieYuss · 23/02/2013 21:33

I'd of been glad of the help, boring job seperating and then putting away jigsaw pieces!!
Your sis was BU not U :)

apostropheuse · 23/02/2013 21:41

The SIL will probably presume you thought your niece and nephew made the mess with her children and that you were just being polite by helping to tidy it up.

I wouldn't worry about it.

She's probably neither up nor down about it.

SquinkiesRule · 23/02/2013 22:48

I wouldn't care, you can come and sort puzzles in my house any time
I tend to absentmindedly sort toys/puzzles while playing with the kids. I can't stand lego in the Playmobil, it just makes me itchy.

MrsMushroom · 23/02/2013 23:32

Come here and sort out ours! Not rude at all. I have a friend who waters my plants! I don't ask...she also weeds my lawn. She can't help it she hates the sight of weeds on a lawn and I don't care!

MortifiedAdams · 23/02/2013 23:35

people let their kids have more than one jigsaw out at a time? And let the peices become mixed up?

«faints»

Backtobedlam · 24/02/2013 00:44

I think its far ruder when people turn up, let their kids trash the place and then swan off home without even asking if you need a hand. You were just clearing some space for them to play in, I'm sure she appreciated the help.

Mrsrobertduvall · 24/02/2013 08:54

I was about to post that, mortifiedadams
i was very controlling about jigsaws. I remember the time when ds's friend got all the Thomas jigsaws out and mixed them up.

HecateWhoopass · 24/02/2013 08:56

I think that it could certainly be seen by someone as rude if you got down on the floor in their home and started tidying up.

I would imagine that she knows how tidy you are and how you feel about mess/clutter?

how was she not supposed to take it as a criticism?

KlarkyKat · 24/02/2013 08:59

Not rude at all! If you'd got the duster out afterwards it might have been a bit much but I would put a few toys back in boxes if they were no longer being played with and I have friends do v thorough tidy-ups in my house!

HecateWhoopass · 24/02/2013 09:00

Oh sorry, reading again it was your sister at her sister in law's house.

So you were in the playroom (clue is in the word play - they tend to be messy ) of your sister's sister in law's home with the children and started to tidy it up?

Ok, so even more rude then 1- taking it upon yourself to tidy your sister's sister in law's home and 2 - doing it while your sister was where? in the other room? your sister's sister in law was cooking, ok, but wouldn't the most polite thing to do to have either helped with that or sat chatting with the other adults rather than tidying the playroom?

Maybe your sister just meant rude as in in there and not in the other room with them?

TolliverGroat · 24/02/2013 09:01

I think quite a lot of instances of tidying up in someone else's home would be a bit rude, but jigsaws isn't really one of them.

HecateWhoopass · 24/02/2013 09:04

oh, and hand on heart - did you go in there to play with the children or because some part of you knew you'd get your hands on those jigsaws and bring a bit of order to chaos?

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot · 24/02/2013 09:10

Just forget about it.

It wasn't rude at all, but if she's taken the hump, so what? Nothing you can do about it now and you can hardly send a 'sorry' card can you

It was worth a 'Oh feck - I wonder if that appeared rude' thought on the way home - but not to still be thinking about it. Truely.

Anyone who gets upset at someone tidying up a few toys needs their head examining anyway - so really, don't give it another thought.

lurkerspeaks · 24/02/2013 09:32

I too am a bit obsessive about jigsaws (the ones in my house are in labelled takeaway containers too) so you have my sympathy. I don't think I'd have thought it was rude. I am however probably a freak as I only like the children to take out one jigsaw to build at a time to try to avoid the mix ups. If there were lots of kids they could have one jigsaw each on a separeate geographical area of the floor.

Don't get me started on the '4 in a box' ones which aren't colour coded. I almost caused WW3 once by putting a colour code on the back so that you could easily separate the 12, 18, 24 and 36 piece ones at a friends house (she is as obsessive as me, and I've already done it at home).

Interestingly the objector wasn't my friend (who liked the idea) but her 4 year old. I then felt bad.

Typing this out has made me realise I may have issues.... we all have them. My own mother was obsessed about not having sand in her (shitty old) car. So we always went to the beach in my Dad's (shiny new) car.

momb · 24/02/2013 09:41

So you went for a catch up with your Sis and her sister in law and left them in the kitchen to go and tidy up the chidlren's jigsaws?
Really? Yes, a bit rude tbh. Different if it was a children's play-date and you were there as a supervising parent.

ajandjjmum · 24/02/2013 09:50

Were they completed jigsaws that had been left by the children of the house, to show what they'd done?

Or were they random jigsaws that your DC had been playing with?

First is rude, second is not.

But yes, you should have been chatting with your sister!

Flip