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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be worried about someone I don't even know

95 replies

Edlyu · 23/02/2013 18:38

I take calls from people who claim benefits and help them navigate their way around benefits & understand the rules for claiming etc.

I dont process any benefits so can only signpost them to where their problem lies . Mostly my help is all that's needed but sometimes its beyond anything I can effectively do. Most days I have crying people trying to hold it together to describe their awful circumstances and often have to tell them that sadly there is nothing I can do and that there will be no money forthcoming for some time due to the processing of information etc. It makes me so annoyed that people with no experience of being on benefits blithely uphold what the government is doing based solely on whatever the daily mail chooses to portray.

But I do my job well and help where i can . I try to keep one step apart from the callers as I just cant take on so much sadness on top of my own day to day worries.

But.

I took a call yesterday that I cant get out of my mind. Its was from a man in his 50's who lived alone and had had his benefits stopped for not doing enough to seek work. He said it was a mistake on the part of the work trial provider who didnt give the information to him in a way the jobcentre could access. He spends his week looking for work in a supervised situation so this should all be documented by them.This is what they are paid to do.

For this offence he had a sanction placed on his benefit. This means he gets no money at all for the period of the sanction. In this case it is 4 weeks . That is NO money at all. So no food or any way of paying for heat. He is not allowed to get a crisis loan and has been refused a hardship payment. His housing benefit has stopped and he has no family in the area.

I tried to signpost him to foodbanks and the salvation army but he said he would rather die than be reduced to this. I offered to find contact details of his MP so he can try to get some help from him but he said he couldnt access a computer to do this .

This is a far as I could go on the phone but his beaten voice just haunts me . He wasnt crying -just downtrodden and without hope that he would have food or heat any time in the near future. He lives in a relatively affluent area near the south coast and I am so troubled that behind a clean and presentable front door someone is slowly starving and is very cold tonight .

OP posts:

recall · 23/02/2013 18:42

Is there any thing that can be done ? do you have his address ?

recall · 23/02/2013 18:43

Mind you, on second thoughts, he did have the opportunity to access food.

timidviper · 23/02/2013 18:45

How awful for you OP. Do you get some form of support or counselling for your job? It sounds as though you should.

I work in the NHS and occasionally get upsetting stuff to deal with but, as colleagues, we support each other well. Do you have a manager or colleague to talk to?

Sorry no words of wisdom but didn't want to read and run

ScarletLady02 · 23/02/2013 18:45

YANBU at all to be worried....I would be. I've worked on a help-line before and there have been times when I've want to just reach through the phone and hug someone. It's difficult. The new sanction rules are harsh on many people.

Original poster

Edlyu · 23/02/2013 18:45

I have his address but I dont even know why I took it as I have no idea who to contact and what they would be able to offer anyway.

Plus of course there is the data protection thing and I would be in so much trouble if I used a persons data outside of the office.

OP posts:

hiddenhome · 23/02/2013 18:45

I don't know what you can do if he's declined food from the foodbank. That is so sad and I'm not surprised you're thinking about it.

hiddenhome · 23/02/2013 18:47

Do you have enough money to make up a hamper for him and drop it round during darkness? Leave it on his doorstep. You can buy a lot from Aldi for not a lot of money.

Original poster

Edlyu · 23/02/2013 18:48

Support? Whats that?

No, we have target times to get people off the phone in less than 6 minutes and a telling off if its more.

I can deal with most things including the name calling ,abuse and swearing . But its the sadness thats the worst part I think.

OP posts:

Imaginethat · 23/02/2013 18:49

Oh no, it would almost be better if he had told you he felt suicidal, then at least you would have a duty to tell police who would have a duty to inform mental health services and he might get some help.

That's a really tough job you have.

hiddenhome · 23/02/2013 18:50

The world is a hard, shitting place

ParsingFancy · 23/02/2013 18:53

Can you send him a card containing his MP's full contact info and details about how MP's surgeries work?

And repeat that foodbanks are for people who have been let down by the system, not those who have done anything wrong?

It's well outside your remit, I know.

But it's terribly, terribly hard for people who have played by the rules all their lives and expect to be treated fairly in return, when they fall foul either of completely unexpected bad luck, or of the corrupt cesspit that is the DWP atm, where JobCentre staff have targets to sanction people if they can find any way of doing so.

The honest and dutiful suffer most.

Lucyellensmum95 · 23/02/2013 18:53

Oh, the poor guy - i don't have any advice but just wanted to offer you some and you sound lovely. Its just not your responsibility though - you have done your job and pointed him in the right direction. Can he appeal the decision? How can they just leave people with nothing??? its beyond belief. Yes are some lazy arse scroungers who play the system but to leave someone with nothing is sick.

Original poster

Edlyu · 23/02/2013 18:54

hiddenhom Gah ! Its so frustrating. I would love to be the good fairy who could drop a food parcel by the front door ( I actually made up a shopping list of essentials and costed them out in my head) but I am many miles away from him .I looked up the address on google maps and see that its a well looked after area near the sea. Almost idyllic

I almost contacted his MP myself but then he would know that the person he spoke to in confidence had passed his information on.

OP posts:

NC78 · 23/02/2013 18:57

If you know his phone number, can you ring him from your home?

CabbageLeaves · 23/02/2013 18:58

How really sad :(

hiddenhome · 23/02/2013 18:58

That's a shame Edlyu If I lived down there I'd gladly take something round anonymously, but I live too far away as well. What a sad situation. Let's hope that he does approach some foodbank people.

CelticPixie · 23/02/2013 19:00

YANBU you sound like a very kind and sensitive person who cares about others.

It's so tough out there at the moment and I genuinely think that a lot of people don't realise just HOW bad things are. I saw a report the other day about a new Costa Coffee that is opening soon where over a thousand people had applied for only eight vacancies. That is how bad it is. And what really fucking pisses me off the most (excuse my language as I rarely swear) is how people who have worked hard their whole lives are being tarred with the same brush as scroungers and other layabouts.

OnlyWantsOne · 23/02/2013 19:02

Can you send a tesco shop anonymously

Just some beans / bread / tea bags cheese milk etc

twofingerstoGideon · 23/02/2013 19:05

I've PMd you Edlyu.

Latara · 23/02/2013 19:11

The area where i live is quite affluent, near the sea... and we have a foodbank that is used by so many people. There are rich and poor living side by side here.

I would send a typed letter about the foodbank to this man, encouraging him to use it. Also include details of any other help he can access.
Don't sign your name, just say the letter is from the helpline.

hiddenhome · 23/02/2013 19:13

If you have a shopping account, can you arrange for food to be sent to an address in one part of the country, if you live in another?

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 23/02/2013 19:16

The letter is a very good idea Latara

sunshine401 · 23/02/2013 19:24

This is a disgrace!! I hate the ideas of "Sanctions" anyway I think they are horrible.
I went to see a weekly family not long ago (Support only) and the single mum had been "Sanctioned" for missing a job focus interview at the job center. Reason for missing was because mum had to take the youngest child who is 2 months old to A+E and because she did not call before she was marked down as a non shower. This resulted in her losing her income support for 2 WEEKS!! We did however resolve the issue with a lot of paper work and long phone calls but still putting that on her was terrible she was in floods of tears at the time!!

This poor bloke can not be left to starve or be frozen into illness. Disgrace!!

Dothraki · 23/02/2013 19:26

Edlyu - this is awful. I would get in touch with his mp anyway. Fucking fuck off to data protection. That poor man will be sitting all alone, with no heating what has he got to live for ? Absolutely nothing. Its freezing tonight.

hiddenhome · 23/02/2013 19:27

I think this is the government's answer to the unemployed. Kill 'em off Work the workers to death by abolishing retirement and kill off the sick/unemployed by various other means. Feckers.

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