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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he should have washes the dog's feet?

16 replies

rain2012 · 22/02/2013 13:13

I am a sham but also work pt. I am responsible for all house chores ie hoovering, laundry, cooking etc. Today Dh didn't have to start work until 12 for a 10 hour shift and I am only working 3 hours later but also doing all house chores. I was going to the gym in the morning so asked him to walk the dogs before work. He also had to pop into town before work for new trainers for his sport he does on a Saturday morning. I got back home while he was still in town to find that he has walked the dogs - great - but not washed any mud off them so they have walked mud all through the house! We have guest this weekend so I will have to quickly clean before work. I sat down to have my breakfast before starting to clear up the mud. Dh came home from town eating his breakfast as well. I asked him to clean the dog's feet before going to work as I don't feel it is my responsibility as I will also have to clean the mud from the house. He told me to "fuck off. Don't fucking speak to me like that. You can fucking do it as you have fuck all else to do all day. You are being a fucking bitch"
I don't think iabu but maybe I do have more time before I start work? Usually I would clean them before letting them walk through the house muddy.

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 22/02/2013 13:26

YABU to live with someone who speaks to you like that. Bloody hell!

thebody · 22/02/2013 13:29

I am sorry but my dh wouldn't speak to me or anyone else like that.

I do hope you don't have listening impressionable children?

I couldn't live with your 'dh' afraid. Surprised you can.

ScarletLady02 · 22/02/2013 13:30

Agree with PPs, I wouldn't put up with being spoken to like that, not in a million years.

Sugarice · 22/02/2013 13:34

The way he spoke to you is completely unacceptable!

How are you going to deal with this, does he verbally abuse you on a regular basis?

countrykitten · 22/02/2013 13:46

Er....why are you with him?

Bejeena · 22/02/2013 13:49

When you asked him to clean the dogs feet can you honestly say you asked him nicely and politely without any sort of annoyed or angry tone in your voice and that it did not come accross as nagging at all?

If you did and were polite to him and he spoke to you like that then I don't think YABU.

However if it was me personally in this situation I am pretty sure my tone would have been annoyed and would have gone something like

'For F*s sake can't you bl**dy clean the dogs feet after you walk them, I'll have to clean up this mess. Grrrrrrr'

Then I don't think he was so UR for swearing back at you. IYSWIM.

BambieO · 22/02/2013 13:52

What a bizarre response! Sounds like a prize twunt

Original poster
rain2012 · 22/02/2013 14:08

I said " did you clean dogs feet? " he said " yes I don't know where he got that mud from" so I said " can you go and wash them as I don't think I should have to do it" he then started a conversation about something else so I said " I would rather you wash dogs feet (than have a conversation as I knew he was cutting it fine to get to work) he then said the things I wrote in my op

OP posts:
BambieO · 22/02/2013 14:47

That's a tough one, seems he thinks you were being rude and you think he was ignoring you. Maybe tell him you don't appreciate being spoken to like that either and agree to disagree. But he should apologise for his language to you, not on at all.

DublinMammy · 22/02/2013 15:04

He sounds like a complete arse.

countrykitten · 22/02/2013 15:06

There is no justification for the way he spoke to her full stop.

peeriebear · 22/02/2013 15:08

If my H spoke to me like that I'd be bagging up his clothes right about now.

BambieO · 22/02/2013 15:10

I agree countrykitten he definitely needs to apologise whether he thinks OP was being rude or not.

I too would not tolerate that at all, DH would be wearing the dog and the mud to work Grin

Bejeena · 22/02/2013 15:10

Hmm in that case no YANBU.

Sometimes my husband speaks to me in a way that I really don't like, shouts and swears (although he has never called me names) and he does always apologise afterwards and says sorry but he gets so mad with all the criticism. So I stop trying to be so critical and it helps no end. Shame he doesn't always make effort changing his way, but this is another issue.

countrykitten · 22/02/2013 15:37

Bejeena your husband sounds like an arse too. It is not YOUR fault that he shouts and swears at you, it is his bad behaviour so don't excuse him.

countrykitten · 22/02/2013 15:38

And your post has made me worried about you too. Do you have people who can support you?

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