Ok, possibly not the biggest issue in the world, but have just got back from picking my DS up from pre-school, and this has really upset me.
This morning, while we were waiting for the nursery gate to be opened, myself and DS were stood in the street, along with all the other parents. One of DS' little friends was sitting in the car with his dad, as they often do. Dad had wound down the passenger side window so that DS could talk to his DS. I wasn't really paying much attention to what was being said, it's usually silly 3 yr old type nonsense, but I did hear my DS say, 'Your sister is your mum' in a joky, messing around kind of way.
This little boy and his 2 older siblings are always brought to school by their dad. I've never seen mum. This is the case with many of the children in DS' nursery class - sometimes you only ever see mum, sometimes only dad etc, and obviously this could be for a variety of reasons, that to be honest I don't really pay any attention to at all. However, on some level, this must have occurred to DS, and a few weeks ago he did mention this particular little boy, and said something along the lines of, 'So and so doesn't have a mum, only a dad.' Cue for me to explain that everyone had a mum and dad but all families are different blah blah, mum might be at work, not everyone lives with their mum and dad etc.
Anyway, when I came out of nursery with DS after picking him up this morning, this boy's dad was waiting to speak with me. He said that he'd heard what my son had said this morning, and he wasn't happy. He said that his children did have a mother, and that his older children in the primary had had a lot of bullying from children about this. He said that he'd been in and spoken to the nursery teachers, and that they had told him that if it had happened within the classroom they would have dealt with it, but as it had happened before school, outside the gates they could not get involved. They had also apparently told him that as DS was so young he would only be saying this type of thing if he'd heard his parents saying it!
The dad went on to say that the child's mother wanted to speak to me, and he wanted me to speak to her on his mobile phone there and then. He said he wanted to sort it out, as he didn't want the children's mother coming down to the school and shouting and screaming at me!
I was so taken aback. I tried to explain, that I did not believe DS meant anything by what had been said to his son. I explained that I would never tell my children that particular children within his class didn't have a mother. The father was adamant - where else would it come from. I said that in my opinion, 3yr olds say all sorts of shit, but he either wasn't understanding me, or didn't want to. The dad had quite a strong accent, so I don't know if it's relevant that English might not be his first language, and i wasn't able to explain myself very well?
The conversation ended with him thrusting his phone at me to speak to the boy's mother, and me (close to tears, stupidly), saying, no, I don't want to speak to her, you've really offended me!
Don't know why it's upset me so much - I think the injustice of it all, as in reality I try very hard not to judge others, and hope that I teach my children the same.
Should I try and speak to him again at school pick up this afternoon, when I'll be getting DD and he'll be fetching his other children?