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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be worried about going into labour tonight?

25 replies

peanutMD · 22/02/2013 10:34

I'm 38+1 and DP has decided in his infinate wisdom that he really needs to head out with friends for an afternoon at the pub because they are off work for 2 Weeks.

I understand he wants to go out but they are all in their mid 20's and an afternoon (which isn't often to be fair) at the pub usually turns into a massive drinking session until atleast 11pm which doesn't normally bother me but I'm getting stressed as we have a 6yo to think about if labour does happen and the only family we have nearby are my mum and her DP who are going to be 10 miles away at a wedding and my friends aren't nearby and all have children too so not much use really.

I an really scared that I will be hone alone at night, go into labour and the only person I can call will be a drunken DP but apparently I am being unreasonable and over thinking things as I'm not going to go into labour tonight just because they are out enjoying themselves

OP posts:

magimedi · 22/02/2013 10:37

YANBU

He is being a massive fool & a selfish pig.

PeppermintPasty · 22/02/2013 10:39

YADNBU

I would kill him.

Spoonful · 22/02/2013 10:40

It isn't really so much to ask that your DP doesn't go out for a few short weeks, when him missing the birth would be a huge thing. It isn't worth the risk.
He is being stupendously immature.

Original poster

peanutMD · 22/02/2013 10:45

I was starting to get paranoid that it was me being hormonal he just keeps chanting that he's not that stupid or selfish so won't be getting pissed and he'll only be a 5 minute taxi away if I need him but I know myself its too easy to get carried away when ask of your mates are going on.

Its the drinking aspect that bothers me and the uncertainty about timing if that makes sense.

OP posts:

PeppermintPasty · 22/02/2013 10:47

Is he always so selfish peanut ? And good luck for tonight, or whenever the baby arrives.

Bluebell99 · 22/02/2013 10:55

I don't understand why your friends with children couldn't help? I went into labour at 7 am over the Christmas holiday period. All my friends on standby for had children themselves. My mother in law lived over 250 miles away but set out by train and bus! But we left my 2 year old with a friend until mother in law arrived. (my own parents only lived an hour and a half away but didn't bother fetching my ds from my friend but sat in my house drinking tea until mother in law arrived hours later . I also had another friends dd over night when she went into labour. Could you not ask friends to be on standby for you? I think I would be asking dh not to get drunk.

DinglebertWangledack · 22/02/2013 11:02

Get a grip its one night and odds are unless you have been told otherwise you will not go into labour.

Bogeyface · 22/02/2013 11:04

Going out for a drink is one thing, an afternoon sesh that stretches into the evening and leaves him no use for anything is another. Has he said that he will have 2 drinks and then come home? Does he drive?

Tbh it probably wont happen tonight, but it might and the fact that it might is enough. Is the 6 year old his child? What happened when you had older one?

Wolfiefan · 22/02/2013 11:04

Can he not go but only have one drink or even stay sober?

Bogeyface · 22/02/2013 11:07

Get a grip its one night and odds are unless you have been told otherwise you will not go into labour

And what medical knowledge of the OP is that based on?! I had no knowledge of my first 2 labours at all, my waters broke and I was 5 cm with #1 and 6cm with #2. Less than 8 hours with both, which is not enough time for anyone to sober up and be any fucking use at all if they have had a skinful. I am deeply suspicious of anyone who puts a belly full of booze of the safety and well being of their partner and unborn child. This seems to crop up fairly regularly on MN, and the selfishness astounds me.

Bogeyface · 22/02/2013 11:07

urgh, on tab, sorry about typos.

WhatsTheBuzz · 22/02/2013 11:10

get a grip? what a charmer.

Original poster

peanutMD · 22/02/2013 11:12

Peppermint in his defence he's not usually so selfish but then I'm not normally so uptight it generally doesn't bother me and this doesn't happen often like I say.

Bluebell the only reason I mention friends with children is that none of them live less than a 30 minute drive away and my best friends are all single parents with children under 3 so I'm not sure I could ask them to come out in the middle of the night just because DP fancied a drink!

Dinglebert are you my DP? :o I've been told it could be anytime after 36 Weeks because I had to have an Emergency CS last time and have had pains on and off for Weeks.

Which I'd another concern if DP is drinking and I need another CS then I would have no one as I doubt they'd let him in :(

But yes I do think this is over thinking things a but...

OP posts:

TheCountessOlenska · 22/02/2013 11:13

I've been quite relaxed for my second pregnancy - am 38 weeks and would probably be ok with DH popping put for a pint (first time round I think I banned him from drinking from about 30 weeks ) - but then again I think an all day session is really unreasonable, unless he can stick to one drink.

Let's face it, you most probably won't go into labour but it's more the un-supportive attitude I have issue with. YANBU

Original poster

peanutMD · 22/02/2013 11:16

He has agreed he is only having a few as he understand how stupid it would be to get even half cut, I'm just not sure how seriously his mates will take that and I can only hope that he is as stead fast out as he is here.

Yes DS is his we were living at my mums when I had him as we were saving for our own place and didn't have to worry.

Sorry I sound like I'm drip feeding

OP posts:

higgle · 22/02/2013 11:18

It all depends on what the OPs partner is like overall. I wouldn't begrude him an afternoon/evening out with mates . Of course the odds are that this lady will not go into labout on the particular afternoon - it is 13 days to her due date so if you tic the possibility of going a week over even on the basis of statistics the changes are around 5%. As long as he keeps in touch and doesn't get paralytic there is really no problem. What happens when he is at work - presumably he is away for around 8 hours a day during the week?

If this is a symptom of deeper problems in the relationship this is a different matter.

SirBoobAlot · 22/02/2013 11:20

He's being a selfish pig. Seriously, what a total arse. You've been having pains for weeks, how on earth is it unreasonable to expect him to stay sober?!

I'd be making other arrangements for bigger things than just labour if this is how high on his priorities you are.

DinglebertWangledack · 22/02/2013 11:26

I've been told it could be anytime after 36 Weeks because I had to have an Emergency CS last time and have had pains on and off for Weeks.

If that had been in the OP it would have been clearer what the problem was.

Original poster

peanutMD · 22/02/2013 11:30

Higgle generally everything else is fine its not that I begrudge him an afternoon out like I say its normally fine but I know how immature he and his friends can get and I've seen atleast one occasion where they found it amusing to slip dribs and drabs of alcohol into a non-drinkers coke (although I can only hope DP didn't take part in that!)

His work actually closed yesterday for the annual engineering checks so a week off for all, hence the afternoon session, plus he has 2 Weeks paternity leave and my mums normally about so its less of an issue then.

OP posts:

Bogeyface · 22/02/2013 11:31

Dingle every woman is told that 37+ is term and that she could go into labour from then onwards. I had DS the day I turned 37 weeks, the others all went over due. You really cant tell when it will happen. Regardless of past issues, getting plastered when your wife could give birth any day is irresponsible and selfish. Being at work is totally different, he could leave work and drive straight home, but being out and pissed means hearing your phone (I often miss calls in noisy places when sober, never mind pissed) finding a cab (on a Friday night, good luck with that!), and then being some sort of use when he gets there!

Original poster

peanutMD · 22/02/2013 11:31

I did apologise for drip feeding Dinglebert, in all honesty reading back I'd have thought the same as you.

OP posts:

OHforDUCKScake · 22/02/2013 11:43

YABU youre not due for two weeks!

BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 22/02/2013 12:07

If his friends can not be trusted to leave a non alcoholic drink alone then they seriously need to grow up.
No problem going out but I would be at him drinking. The twattishness of some people really is shocking. There's a very real chance of labour tonight.

diddl · 22/02/2013 12:11

I wouldn´t care about him going out but would expect him not to drink.

Tis not much to ask.

ENormaSnob · 22/02/2013 12:39

Yanbu

37+ weeks is term so regardless of your obstetric history he is being a cunt.

Unless he's not drinking.

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