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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mild cramps at almost 39 weeks pregnant...Aibu to agree to husband working 2.5 hours away today?

24 replies

Thepursuitofhappiness · 22/02/2013 03:29

Realise that this really sits in childbirth... But would appreciate quick responses before husband leaves for work...

I'm 38+5 days pregnant (first baby) I've had mild cramps for a few days now. Tonight they are stronger, but I'd still describe as mild (no need for paracetamol etc).

My husband is due on a work meeting 2.5 hours drive away this morning, due to last all day. If he didn't go it would be a faf but not the end of the world, although its probably last time he would realistically be able to go before baby came.

My cramps are still mild so I guess it could/could not be a sign of early labour (not had a show etc). Also guess labour may well be a week away still, I just don't know.

AIBU to agree to my husband going on work meeting? He doesn't want to miss anything baby wise but I'd guess likelihood of labour today is still fairly small, and 2.5 hours isn't too long in terms of most 1st time early labours (baby is back to back so prob won't be the quickest!)

OP posts:
ripsishere · 22/02/2013 03:32

I never had a labour, I was a lazy cow and took the cesarian route.
IMO, 2.5 hours isn't that bad. It's doable if necessary.

MyCannyBairn · 22/02/2013 03:45

I got very mild pain, I had a show ( tho you could miss it ... ) ... I was gobsmacked when the mw checked me ( was expecting to be sent home ), I was 5 cm.

Whereisthesnow · 22/02/2013 03:47

Mmm, hard to say. Like you say could be a week away! I'd tell him to go on condition that he keeps phone with him at all times, and then make sure you've got another way if getting to hospital I.e stash of cash and taxi numbers or someone that can drive you. Is he driving I.e would rush hour slow him up in coming back? If things ramped up at all, you shouldn't be afraid to call him back even if it's a false alarm

anonymosity · 22/02/2013 03:52

You know that being to term is officially anywhere BETWEEN 38 to 40 weeks. You are term. I think personally, I'd err on the side of caution.

wtf1981 · 22/02/2013 04:07

hi all,
Wimp here-would an elective c-section be ok???

honeytea · 22/02/2013 04:30

How exciting for you :) I'd say get up and have a shower and if you are getting regular painful contractions ask him nit to go. The last few weeks of pregnancy I had contractions every night that disappeared when I got up

Good luck :)

McNewPants2013 · 22/02/2013 04:35

Do you have any one else to go with you just incase you do go into labour.

If you haven't then I would hope he would stay closer to home.

Original poster
Thepursuitofhappiness · 22/02/2013 04:43

Thanks for the responses Smile

Still feeling crampy but no worse.

Although the only person I would really want is husband, I'm supported if he wasn't here, 2 neighbours have offered help if required (one a nurseSmile) and other family/friend are 30 min away.

I think I'll see how I feel before he leaves (7am) and we'll discuss it then. Like the idea of a shower to see if that helps.
x

OP posts:
BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 22/02/2013 04:50

If he could skip the meeting without it threatening his job, I would suggest he did. Whereas it is unusual for first labours to be so quick, it is not unknown..

MoetEtPantsOn · 22/02/2013 05:25

I'd say let him go (if no change in the morning when he's due to leave) and have phone on all day. Not on silent! Work will understand. Worse case he just comes straight back and spends a lot of time driving.

RedHelenB · 22/02/2013 08:16

Of course he should go - he's not flying to the other end of the world & he has plenty of time to get back if necessary!!!

CailinDana · 22/02/2013 08:19

I'd make him go so that sod's law would kick in and I'd bloody well go into labour! 40 weeks today, been cramping for, oohhh, three fucking weeks Angry. Perhaps I should send DH to the moon...

katiecubs · 22/02/2013 08:30

Has the same situation last Tuesday! Was having mild cramps and DH had a meeting in London.

I suspected baby wouldn't come in a hurry so off he went - I started getting a show when he was at clapham junction but still thought it would be fine. He didn't so got off the train to head back.

Good job he did - waters quickly went and had meconium in them so had to go straight to hospital. He probably wouldn't have missed the birth (2 hrs later) but I would have had to get a taxi to hospital and endure some of the horrible contractions alone!

Anyway DS is now 10 days old and all is good Grin.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 22/02/2013 08:41

Wondering how OP is getting on? maybe her next post will be telling us she's had her baby!

CailinDana chin up, not long to go now, fielding the "Have you had it?" calls are the worst bit - hospital or home birth?

Congrstulations on your DS katiecubs Thanks

Original poster
Thepursuitofhappiness · 22/02/2013 09:04

Hi all,

Husband went in the end, on the understanding that phone is always on. No more work meetings away after today so that will be good.

Ill say if anything starts happening in next 8 hours though!

OP posts:
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 22/02/2013 09:24

Sounds like you've got good support available should he not be back by the time things do kick off, Smile

ksrwr · 22/02/2013 09:30

i had mild cramps on the monday and gave birth on the friday, which obviously isn't going to be the same with everyone... but i should imagine you've still got a couple of days left yet.
and as for being 2.5 hours away... i wouldn't worry about it, labour tends to last a lot longer than that for first babies, so he'll have plenty of time to get back. try and relax and keep yourself occupied while you wait

bedmonster · 22/02/2013 09:33

I was reading this then skipped to the end to see if you'd had it! Sounds like everythings moving along in the right direction though, good luck. Does your dh usually work closer?

Adversecamber · 22/02/2013 10:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chattymummyhere · 22/02/2013 10:46

I would send him as its your first but be prepared for a fast labour anyway..

My first was 4 hours start to finish on a weekend so we was fine.

Second I had a few cramps nothing strong sent him to work (takes half an hour if you drive by the law) he got to work I had to ring him to come home just as he got there hour and half after that baby was born. Midwife only got here 25mins before the baby was born 5-10 in minutes lol

OHforDUCKScake · 22/02/2013 10:52

I had mild contractions from 36 weeks to 41 weeks when I was induced. Because of that, if it was me Id say go.

Funnily enough, despite DP being sat next to me when I went into labour it would take 2.5 hours for him to get to me be because he had to wait 2 hours for his mum to ours to look after DS1. He got their in the last 15 minutes of the birth after his car broke down three times en route to the hospital, whereon in the end he ditched it and ran the last mile.

I digress.

I hope youre ok today OP good luck with the birth, but cross your legs today and perhaps only really worry if/when you get a show.

StephaniePowers · 22/02/2013 11:03

Eek, that's a 5h round trip.
I went from mild cramps to full on labour in that time, it was 7h from first mild cramp to birth.
Basically it's impossible to advise, isn't it?!

sparkle12mar08 · 22/02/2013 11:11

I'd be uncomfortable with him being that far away tbh. But then I had exceedingly fast labours. Looking back I can see that with ds1 I'd been having mild contractions that I mistook for Braxton Hicks for about 36hrs. It didn't occur to me at the time that this was in fact early labour. However when my waters went and we called the midwife I was 5cm dilated when she came, and ds1 was born 4hrs later. With ds2 I recognised the contractions for what they were straight away and told dh he needed to be glued to his phone. Waters went just six hours later that time and ds2 was born less than 2hrs later. So a 2.5 hr trip would be too far for me to be happy!

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes · 22/02/2013 11:56

My first labour was 3 hours from first contraction to birth so for me 2.5 hours would have been too far, especially when you add in time trying to find a space in the hospital car park.

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