Feeling really low & lonely!

[Nel80]

Hey guys

Sorry about doing such a depressing post! But just need some advice. I have a 13 month old & I'm 32 weeks preg. I was meant to go back to work part time for 4/5 weeks then was going to start my next mat leave.

In all honesty I don't like where I work or my manager but I was looking forward to working briefly as I was getting fed up at home. Anyway LO was totally traumatised by his settling in sessions at nursery (he was going to do 2 full days & hubby was going to have him 1 day) that I haven't ended up going back- have started my leave early.

So I guess I feel like a SAHM, which I have to say I thought I would love! But I have been feeling really low & lonely for some time now.

The fact that I'm heavily pregnant isn't helping as I'm tired alot & not as functional or energetic to do as many things as I would have normally.

I take LO to play groups almost daily, some of the mums that I used to sometimes have play dates with have gone back to work, even though I go to the play groups regularly I've not really made any friends there.

I always try do something in the afternoon with LO too, even if its just a walk or trip to the supermarket.

Friends I had pre baby, are all busy with their own lives so I see them once in a blue moon where we all go for an evening meal together.

I live in a town where there is just hubby's family, mine are an hour & a half away. And to be honest I don't get any pleasure from their company at all- but that's a diff story!

I'm too tired to do things for myself, like have me time, when LO has his nap in the day I eat my lunch & have a brief nap too. In the evenings I need my bed by 9.30/10- after we have had our tea, we watch tv then I go to bed.

Weekends, me and OH always take LO out and we do family stuff.

Yet I still feel low and lonely- I can't shake it off. I'm going to visit my folks for a few days this weekend but I know that isn't going to help how I feel. I have a large extended family, where I have lots of cousins, but they all dotted around the UK & people just get busy with their own lives, work & kids so I don't see them often or hear from them often.

OH is being supportive as I've kind of told him I feel low, he has been at home for a few days, so I went window shopping in town the other day, I did some baking today, I had a haircut last week, he is telling me to get my nails done tomorrow. But nothing is making me feel better!

I feel ungrateful & guilty for feeling like this. I know once baby comes ill have no time to myself & it's going to be hard work with 2 babies. I'm worried that if I feel like this now I'm just going to get PND.

We did want them close together, but I just know its going to be real tough & I'm dreading my overbearing mil being constantly in my face. She is dark cloud over me!

I just don't know how to snap out of this! I think if I had a good close circle of friends or cousins that I saw & heard from regularly I wouldn't feel like this.

Thanks & sorry for the depressing post!

YANBU! I just had my first child, and the idea of having another a year later would be daunting!

I don't really know what to say about being lonely, maybe posting here will help? And you can talk to your GP if this low feeling continues.

While your OH is being helpful, talk to him about your MIL's dark cloudiness.
See if your Mother or another family member can come and stay to help you out?

I'm sure more helpful people will be along in a bit, but you can't always help how you feel, especially with the hormones!

Lol thanks hun, I've tried talking to OH about mil. I was really forceful about it in my last pregnancy, doesn't make a difference!

TBH though she is the least of my worries for a change, whatever I'm feeling is deeper than that.

How can the GP help me? I have thought about that but I'm not really sure what they can do?

As for help OH is a great help with LO & around the house etc. I don't feel like I need any other help, not that there is anyone else anyway!

Just an idea but its worth seeing if there is an NCT refresher course you could get on? They are cheaper than the first time parent courses and designed for mums who want to meet others with children already and who are pregnant again and need to meet people. I've just had DC2 and my new NCT friends have been invaluable to me (i didnt do it first time round) Worth a look maybe?

I had my DCs 18 months apart and found the second pregnancy much more tiring. I thought it was just stress I turned out also to be very anaemic - iron did help a lot, more than I expected it to. Might it be worth asking the MW for a blood test or trying some OTC supplements such as floradix or spatone?

Thanks, ill take a look at the nct course.

I went to see the midwife today, had a cry, didn't talk to her about my actual issues, in fact I haven't really talked about them to anyone.

She is referring me to a clinical psychologist at the hospital, they are there for you to talk too and also offer support after baby is born. So I just need to wait for a letter.

I could have antenatal depression or PND from my first. If they feel i need anti depressants they will give me some.