And nothing is ever easy, all I want is a nice simple life.
This is my life in the past year.
I'm 31 weeks pg, first baby.
My dad is only in his 50's and has leukaemia. He had chemo and a bone marrow transplant last year. A year ago he was so sick in hospital me and my mum were told he wouldn't make it through the night. He did pull through much to our relief.
He was in a hospital 50 miles away, so we did a 100 mile round trip every day for weeks.
My pg wasn't planned but welcomed.
I got married in Sept, but DH and I fell out with the in laws and they did not attend our wedding (they said they would not come if we invited an auntie, so we said fine don't come then). We have not spoken to in laws or siblings properly for a year now.
Beginning on our honeymoon I had severe HG and was off sick for 4 months, even had to live with my parents for a bit leaving poor DH at home to fend for himself.
I'm main earner and DH has min wage job and can't find a better paid job. He's also getting his own business up and running but it's nothing to rely on financially.
I pay all household bills. We need a car that has 5 doors as the 3 door car I have now will be too impractical for baby stuff. My MOT is on Monday and I know it will fail (as it has for the past 3 years running)
My dad for past three months has suffered with side effects from transplant, started on high dose steroids which made him very temperamental and has mood swings.
The steroids have caused him to have temporary diabetes so is on insulin injections four times a day which are unstable at times and he has hypos.
He's been off work and his boss has kindly paid him full time, whilst my dad works when he's well enough and even from home. In fact he even did some work from his hospital bed. But this week his boss has told him he can no longer afford to pay him only the hours he actually works. (Fair enough, he's been very kind so far)
I feel I have to do what I can to help my parents out as much as possible as I don't want my dad to feel pressured into going back to work when he's not well.
They can't afford for him to only receive sick pay.
At the moment I am unable to work extra hours as I have been struggling throughout my pg.
Then we have an elderly family friend who is like a grandfather to me, he has no family. I've known him all my life and all my dads life.
I have financial power of attorney as he can no longer manage his own affairs. He's in a nursing home after a stroke.
Since the beginning of this year he's been admitted to hospital 4 times and each time been fobbed off by doctors. Just today he's been back in A&E after having collapse and seizures but the doctors don't really know what's going on. He has a deep vein thrombosis in his leg diagnosed a week ago.
His health is very bad and to be honest I can't see him lasting much longer.
He owns a house which as power of attorney, I am selling on his behalf. He is not safe to go home and needs 24 hr care.
He's the sole owner but his ex wife is owed some more money from their divorce, which she initiated about 8 years ago before his health problems.
To sell the house she needs to sign to release the charge on the property and get her money.
But she has so far refused to sign to release it, she gives various excuses but at the end of the day she did the same with the divorce settlement and refused to sign anything. In the end a judge had to sign on her behalf.
So we have gone to court to a judge to ask them to release the charge and have had a hearing, in which she sent her daughter saying they did not know what the hearing was for, and she couldn't attend in person as since the stress of the divorce (that she initiated) she has panic attacks and poor mobility and can't travel from her town.
After this hearing, because until that point she didn't know our friend, her ex husband was in a home, she turned up to see him at the care home. So she did travel and could have attended court! She's just delaying things. As it happens he was in hospital, we told them he was in hospital but obviously didn't believe us.
If she doesn't sign the papers, which her deadline has been and gone, we have another hearing scheduled in a couple of weeks.
We already lost a buyer because they were waiting so long and because of paying his ex wife off with an equity release scheme each month that goes by he pays hundreds of interest.
His property is being sold for just under £100k but he'll be lucky to have enough to pay for his funeral by the time he's paid the ex wife, legal aid and equity release.
I'm trying to support my mum to support my dad, trying to be there for a very dear friend who's coming to the end of his life, I'm working full time but unable to earn extra hours as I'd been off sick so long, I'm iron deficient, ferritin levels are 8, HG is under control but on a tonne of medication still, I've been diagnosed with a vaginal prolapse which is rare for someone who's never given birth and very sure down below and dribbling wee a lot....
Is this what life is about? I just want a normal simple day to day boring old life!
Am I being too negative or is all this shit just happening at once?!