Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to need sleep too!!

39 replies

midastouch · 21/02/2013 22:01

Im a SAHM with 2 DC, my 10 month old DD still doesnt go through the night she wakes up at least 3 times crying for no apparant reason and I have to sit with her anywhere from 2 mins to an hour to get her back to sleep. Im shattered, i do this every single night. DP leaves for work at 7am and gets back 4.45pm ish. I do all the housework, the shopping, everything for the DC and DP for that matter
I can understand during the week when he has to get up and drive all day but surely at the weekend i deserve some sleep?

OP posts:

Original poster

midastouch · 22/02/2013 00:47

Move him to the cough, not a bad idea i worry that i'll still have DD in my bed when shes 3 if i start that. How can children be so different. I like the naughty step idea for him (now hes wondering why im laughing!!)

OP posts:

Original poster

midastouch · 22/02/2013 00:48

cough?? couch!!

OP posts:

NandH · 22/02/2013 01:04

I know how you feel!! I have a 22 month old dd who sounds simular to your 10 month old and a nearly 3 week old ds who may aswell be a hamster/owl because he is awake all night and asleep all day!!!... just talk to your dp, I did and he's a lot more forgiving and helpful!

NandH · 22/02/2013 01:04

TheSkiingGardener · 22/02/2013 05:16

Can you go away for a weekend, or at least out for a full day and leave him to it. He needs to understand that you aren't lying on the sofa eating grapes all day!

CheerfulYank · 22/02/2013 06:06

He definitely needs to help you more in the evenings. He can do baths etc. My DH gets home at 6 and does bath and bed for DS, plus takes him to tae kwon do 2 days a week.

They both get up at 7 and DH gives him breakfast so I can sleep in til 7:30. We split lie-ins...I get Saturday mornings, he gets a long nap after church on Sunday.

ledkr · 22/02/2013 06:28

I hate this shit on mumsnet. Of course if you are at home you end up doing the lions share of nights but being at work doesn't make it entirely impossibe to help out. My dd still wasn't sleeping well when I returned to work and I often goto work now after a dodgy nights sleep.
It's not very nice no and I'm shattered by the end if the day but its doable and I'd rather that than expect my partner to cope with it all while I sleep.
In fact I'm sat here now with early riser because dh worked late last night and he will give me a lie in tomorrow.
I can't understand anyone allowing their partner to run themselves ragged while they get a restful night every night.
It's just bloody selfish beyond belief.

willesden · 22/02/2013 10:00

He isn't lazy, he's at work all day FFS. SAHMs can get a nap in during the day. Stuff the housework.

OxfordBags · 22/02/2013 10:41

She's not stubborn, she is far too young for that. She just has a different and not-so-tweakable sleep pattern than your first child.

But onto the main point - he is being a lazy twunt. He works shorter hours than my DH and when DH is home, everything is 50-50 and he does loads at the weekends around the house and with DS because he wants to. It's hardly going to make your kids feel good about themselves when they get older to realise that Daddy can't be bothered toput any effort into being with them or doing stuff with and for them.

I dunno why you say you tolerate all this for a quiet life. Doing too much and being treated like an unpaid skivvy and nanny is hardly what I'd call a quiet life. I think, if you can be honest with yourself, what you really mean is: I don't want to make him show his true colours because then I won't be able to ignore the fact that the man I love and who should love me is treating me like crap and taking me for granted. And why? Because he sees me as inferior to him.

It's also setting a very bad example for your children for them to see a man doing fuck all and a woman doing too much. And you're as responsible for that as he is. Time to have serious words with him.

dreamingbohemian · 22/02/2013 11:01

You can't train a man. You just have to hope they're decent people. Your DH unfortunately is a lazy fucker. YANBU and start insisting on at least weekend lie-ins.

Original poster

midastouch · 22/02/2013 11:04

Its the way my mum and dad were, I guess that's why I've thought its how it should be, but your right I don't want my kids thinking that at all.
williesden I'd quite like to know when I'm suposed to get this nap in? My DS is 3 he does not nap

OP posts:

SirBoobAlot · 22/02/2013 11:13

Firstly as much as we might think that a ten month old should be sleeping through, babies haven't read the books. Some babies aren't ready to sleep through at that age. 10 months is prime separation anxiety and teething time, so let's not add to the OPs stress by telling her that bollocks.

OP no, you're not unreasonable. Strangely enough, they're his responsibility too, working does not excuse him from looking after them at all.

OxfordBags · 22/02/2013 11:17

Midastouch, you experienced this dynamic as a child and now you're being taken for granted yourself. If this carries on in your home then your DD will end up being treated like that when she becomes a mother. Do you want that for her too?

YouTheCat · 22/02/2013 11:20

You say a lot of 'him doing things for YOU' but that fact is he should be doing things for his FAMILY and everyone in it, including letting you have a rest now and again.

I know how impossible it is to grab a nap during the day. I had twins who never ever slept at the same time. I also had a lazy arsed husband who did nothing at all with the kids or any housework (unless he was making a point about how easy it all was and how crap I was at it).

It builds resentment and that is why he is the ex.

Flip

1 2