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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to get why people get angry about being overtaken?

65 replies

tigerdriverII · 21/02/2013 21:03

I have seen this a bit but....

Today, I overtake a car on the way to work. It was safe and legal to overtake. I drive this road every day and know that if there is no one in front of you you can make good progress (country B road). I don't mean speeding, I mean just driving safely but not hanging about.

The driver (middle aged woman like me) speeded up and stuck herself to my bumper. Fine. Then there is more traffic in front of us than normal so of course I drive according to the road and traffic. Ie I can't fly over the cars so drive behind them normally. No chance for me to ver take nor could she have done had she been in front of me.

Get to a t junction with a STOP sign. So guess what? I stop. Cue beeping horn behind me for the whole 5 seconds I am stopped (if that).

A couple of miles later I turn off the road at a point where about half the local traffic turns off. There is no way I could have driven faster at this point and the one or two overtaking opportunities weren't safe if I'd wanted to take them. Cue massive beeping etc. When I got to work I checked the car just to make sure there was nothing hanging off it that they were trying to tell me about. Nope. Can only assume that this lady didn't like being overtaken and spent about 15 minutes in a state of total road rage seething over it.

Don't get it at all. AIBU?

OP posts:
BimbaBirba · 21/02/2013 21:07

It does sound a bit like you overtook her and then drove painfully slowly for one reason or another.
However YANBU in general. People are stupid when they're at the wheel and I just don't get road rage.

drjohnsonscat · 21/02/2013 21:08

Is it possible that your overtaking her was completely unnecessary because the road conditions meant you'd both be stopping shortly anyway? I confess that does really annoy me - but then I am in London where it really is completely pointless and the sign of a tosser who just wants to be one car in front and to get to the red lights first Hmm.

Even if it was that, there's no excuse for her behaviour. Otherwise, no. I can't imagine why she would give you grief, unless you drove up her bumper more than you realised?

LRDtheFeministDragon · 21/02/2013 21:10

She was being a wanker.

I suppose it is possible you overtook then slowed her down but more likely she's just one of those people who're offended that you overtook.

Thisisaeuphemism · 21/02/2013 21:10

DS - aged 5 - gets angry about it too. He says, 'you're not winning anymore'

I suppose they feel like five year olds.

XBenedict · 21/02/2013 21:11

Sounds like a very silly angry woman. I can't believe how agitated and angry people get behind the wheel of a car. So dangerous in itself.

countrykitten · 21/02/2013 21:11

Why bother overtaking if you ended up so close together on the road in any case? Bit pointless wasn't it?! I have never understood the whole 'swapping position' overtaker who knows we will be approaching - let's say - a stop sign soon but has to overtake anyway. Got something to prove....?

countrykitten · 21/02/2013 21:12

drjohnsonscat cross post.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 21/02/2013 21:12

But the OP says the other driver sped up. So if the other driver had continued at the same pace, presumably the OP would have been well clear of her.

Nothing wrong with speeding up after being overtaken IMO, but it's stupid to honk and fuss like that.

Original poster
tigerdriverII · 21/02/2013 21:13

Not painfully slowly at all. [Smile]. Just more traffic than usual so physically impossible to drive quicker - usually it's a pretty empty road but there was a lot more traffic than usual. Had I known at the point I overtook I wouldn't have bothered tbh.

Nt on her bumper at all, she pulled into the road in front of me (perfectly ok, she didnt cut in) and I overtook her shortly afterwards.

Anyway, glad I'm not BU

OP posts:
XBenedict · 21/02/2013 21:14

She overtook because she know that if there is no one in front of you you can make good progress but she couldn't predict what was already in front of her. The woman was driving slowly but in her anger decided to catch up with her and "make a point" what point that was!

CarpetBagger · 21/02/2013 21:15

id rather someone safely over take me than stick to my bumper - THIS drives me insane. Sometimes I pull over so they can pass.

what does annoy me is when someone over takes in a dangerous manner then they end up infront of me - when we come to a junction or something.

really - is risking all our lives worth it? really? Confused

LRDtheFeministDragon · 21/02/2013 21:17

I will never understand some people's attitudes to overtaking. You'd think it was a personal insult what order they were in.

Drive a crappy 1.2 for a long period and you will either become unfussed by people overtaking whom you then catch up to slowly, or you will die of repressed rage. The first is a better option.

CarpetBagger · 21/02/2013 21:20

Who drives the crappy 1.2 LDR.

I dont - I just like to drive as safely as possible having been in - and witnessed many a stupid and pointless accident.

drjohnsonscat · 21/02/2013 21:21

Yes I quite often just pull over to let people overtake me because I am passive aggressive I cannot bear to have people driving up my arse. I had that yesterday - the car was so close to me I couldn't see their headlights. Hate that. I fantasise about having a voice activated dot-matrix system in my back window that can flash up "back off you moron" at a moment's notice.

But OP, it sounds like she was just being an idiot.

BimbaBirba · 21/02/2013 21:23

Recently I was doing 30 mph in town so I couldn't possibly legally drive any faster. This car from behind tries to do all he can to overtake me. Not easy because there were traffic lights, cars coming in the other directions, bikes and pedestrians, you name it. Well eventually he manages to overtake me and as he's doing so I'm so cross at the wanker that I give him the finger. Then as he speeds past me he raises his hand to apologise and I realise that we're very near the maternity ward and it all makes sense!

XBenedict · 21/02/2013 21:25

You get the loons on the other end of the scale too. We have a lovely fast open road just up the road from us. It's a very wide road and easy to overtake. (It's also a known speed trap). I am astounded on an almost daily basis at the number of cars that speed pass me while I am traveling 60mph. Hey ho it's their licence!

CarpetBagger · 21/02/2013 21:25

Dr Johnson,

I don't see how pulling over is PA?

Its surely the safest thing to do?

Esp on country roads, I had a huge red kite literally fly straight into my window once, if someonee had been up my arse there would have been a very nasty accident indeed and I have a baby in the car.
There are always cars in ditches and accidents on the roads near me.

I also fantastise about having messages flashing up - a little more strong than yours!

" Back off my Butt: BItch"

CarpetBagger · 21/02/2013 21:26

Bimba - bless!

LRDtheFeministDragon · 21/02/2013 21:28

carpet - oh, no, sorry! Blush

That was me commenting on me - I have only very recently upgraded from 1.2 bangers to, erm, a marginally faster car. Really only marginally.

My point was that, because I've driven so much with very slow cars, I've got used to the fact that often people will overtake, and you will catch up to them later on, because they can't immediately tell whether you're a slow driver by inclination, or just someone who doesn't have much acceleration.

I was meaning that it's in a way quite a good thing to get used to, that people aren't passing implicit comment on your driving by overtaking.

So long as it's done safely, IMO it's not an issue.

But I certainly didn't mean to suggest anyone else drove such crappy cars as me. Sorry! Blush

specialsubject · 21/02/2013 21:29

she was entitled to be laughing at you because you wasted fuel by speeding up and slowing down, and then didn't get to where you were going any more quickly than she did.

however she should not have sat on your bumper (dangerous) nor should she have used her horn to prove a point (illegal)

I get tossers overtaking me regularly because I do about 55 on a road which has a 60 limit. This is because it has regular points where it is necessary to slow down, so it is far less wasteful to drive at a steady speed. Quite often the overtaking is dangerous, I let them get on with it and lo and behold, there they always are, just in front of me at the roundabout at the end.

I can only conclude that petrol is still too cheap, given how much is wasted.

greenplastictrees · 21/02/2013 21:29

YANbU. I've been there. Faster (but within speed limit) than car in front. Over taking is allowed by law. I wait until it is safe to do so, check mirrors, signal, pull up along side and overtake the vehicle, move back in. As I go pass the other driver toots a long toot of displeasure and sometimes a few toots after. One time the driver then appeared to speed up and follow me so I drove further than I needed to ot of slight concern that they were going to stop and try to pick an argument with me. I can't understand the offence. If people are faster than me, why not overtake me. I'm fine with that.

Original poster
tigerdriverII · 21/02/2013 21:30

Ooh. CarpetBagger. Can you imagine? My road rager's head would have exploded if I had a sign like that!

Am cheered up a lot now, was pretty baffled this morning but thought I must have piqued someone's pride.

OP posts:
CarpetBagger · 21/02/2013 21:31

sorry LDR mis read.
our car is crappy too but not slow - but i dont really care.
i just worry on the roads and want to get somewhere alive!

HorizonFocus · 21/02/2013 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

drjohnsonscat · 21/02/2013 21:32

Well yes, it is the safest thing to do. But what they don't know is that, while I appear to be modest in my road useage, I am fuming and raging at them and muttering rude words under my breath. I pull over in a slightly martyred way, you see. There's a lot going on in the psychodrama of my driving.

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