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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel like I want a week off?

13 replies

IncredibleGames · 21/02/2013 19:37

I'm just so tired, have been since Christmas really.

I feel like I just want a week to myself to sleep, have long undisturbed baths and watch rubbish tv, but I've not a chance.

I'm a single parent to a ds and he exhausts me. He's a good boy but he is just so full of energy. He's 4 and he doesn't stop talking, and asking for things from the minute he opens his eyes to the minute he goes to sleep. He's just a typical little boy, perhaps especially talkative, but doesn't do anything wrong really, I adore him and when I look in on him while he sleeps I can't quite believe that I felt so exasperated a few hours before. Just usual stuff like constantly asking for things I've said no to only 5 minutes before, having a poo, I help him wipe his bum, flush the toilet and wash his hands and mine only for him to realise he needs another one/hasn't finished! Making mess in every room he goes in.

I wouldn't say I can't cope or anything, I found the baby days a breeze, and I wouldn't even say I find things very difficult now, I know what I need to be doing, but I just don't want to, I want a break, and not a few hours but a week, selfish I know. Ds is great company and we do lots of nice things together, but I want to be able to get in from work without coats and uniform being strewn across the house and immediate demands for drinks and food. I want to lie in until 10am.

I'm not in the worst position for a single parent, my parents help out sleepovers probably once a month and he can go round for a few hours. I have a boyfriend who will look after ds if I want to go out. But sometimes I wonder can I really do it all?

Does anyone else ever feel like this?

OP posts:

zenamm · 21/02/2013 19:49

Hi, why dont you take a week off when he is at school, that way you have some time just for yourself, drop him off and go back home, gave a good sleep or lie in bed with a cuppa and a good book. I felt the same this week and took a week off and though my ds was off on half term I booked him in for two days in after-school club and left him in from 10.30 - 4 so I could have a little time to myself, meant we had a really great time the other days as I was not knackered and also he loves the company of after-schools for a while too. I feel renewed! (Previously I would have never taken time off just for me as I would have felt guilty but it has been great for both of us - I will def do it again, depending on what leave I have left mind you)

CrunchyFrog · 21/02/2013 19:50

All the bloody time. Single mum to 3 here, and completely knackered since I was ill in January.

I am luckier than you, I get 2 nights a week off due to XH taking them, but I work a 13 day fortnight, only 4 hours a day, but still. Today was a day off and I'm STILL knackered.

Original poster

IncredibleGames · 21/02/2013 19:53

I work in a school so I only get the holidays off. Otherwise that would be a really good idea.

OP posts:

catgirl1976 · 21/02/2013 19:58

YANBU at all

Could you put him in a playscheme or something for a few days in the Easter holidays?

Could you talk to your parents and ask them to have him for a full day?

Nagoo · 21/02/2013 20:00

YANBU.

I am lucky in that I can take a sneaky day off every 3 months or so, put them in their usual childcare and have a me day.

I would recommend that to anyone.

In a year or so he'll be 'nintendo ds' age and not bother you for hours on end.....

Original poster

IncredibleGames · 21/02/2013 20:13

Yes I could definitely look into playscheme although I'd have to know he was happy to go there, and I can ask parents, they are doing a big DIY job right now so probably not convenient but I'm sure that they will once they're finished.

I feel guilty for feeling like this and hope it doesn't last. I've always been 100% happy with my mum status, but I'm starting to become irritated by it, I love my ds and will always do my absolute best for him. But recently I envy childless friends and colleagues. But I'd never wish him away as he's just such great fun, but selfishly I want the best of both worlds. In fact I envy celebs who can have a brood of kids but all the money to never have to worry, can pay for top nannys to help out when they need.

OP posts:

gordyslovesheep · 21/02/2013 20:15

don't feel guilty - he'll have a blast YOU need a break too

I take the odd day off work when the kids are in school just to recharge - also a single parent - I get you x

catgirl1976 · 21/02/2013 20:16

Don't feel guilty! Wanting a bit of downtime is normal, natural and reasonable - it has nothing to do with how much you love your DS

Getting some downtime will be good for both you and him as you will be more refreshed afterwards

Original poster

IncredibleGames · 21/02/2013 20:30

I work in a school so I only get the holidays off

Just read that back, didn't mean it as I ONLY get the holidays off there's no only in 13 weeks, but meant I don't have annual leave to take during term time.

Thank you for saying it's normal. I always feel like I shouldn't moan, there's people a lot worse off or who just have it harder.

OP posts:

verytellytubby · 21/02/2013 21:04

Definitely book your DS into a holiday camp. You need a break too.

larks35 · 21/02/2013 21:24

OP, I feel your pain. My DS is 4 and is exactly the same wrt the non-stop talking, questions, needs etc. DP is with us too but we also have a 10mo so no real chance of a break. I'm also a teacher so when I'm off the children are too. Our half-term was last week and in many ways it was just as, if not more tiring as working full-time in school!

Can you plan a couple of days at Easter where your DS goes to stay with GPs, his dad, any other relations to give you a bit of a break? If not, then can you have a friend over for him to play with to just give you a little break from the ear bashing chatter? I've done this few times now and last week the mum of one of his friends had him at hers for the day, it was bliss (although DD chose that day to really suffer from teething, but it was nice to give her my undivided attention for a change).

orangeandlemons · 21/02/2013 21:28

I'm a teacher too, I also find the holidays more exhausting.....

Whatsthatnoise · 21/02/2013 22:01

I have a 4 year old DD who also never stops talking and have been feeling exactly like this the last couple of weeks. I have DP but DD has additional needs, she's only at nursery 2 hours a day and when DP gets home from work I go to work. Its so hard I never get a minute to myself I finally cracked today and asked my boss if i can reduce my hours, we can't really afford it but I need a break

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