To think that children shouldn't be allowed to jump on this gravestone?

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I was in Durham Cathedral this morning and we were sitting in St Cuthberts tomb area. There is a small altar and then St Cuthbert's stone laid out flat on the floor with him underneath in his tomb.

Along comes mum, grandma and two kids - one looked about 12 and the other about 9 or 10. They just started running all over the stone and around the altar and the adults just ignored them and read the info on St Cuthbert instead You're not meant to go on that area at all and they ran onto the tapestry hassocks which line the tomb area too. Poor St Cuthbert

I almost said something, but bottled it 'cos I didn't want to cause an argument in the Cathedral Instead, I just sat and hoisted my judgeypants and glared at them, but they didn't notice.

AIBU to think this is disrespectful and that the adults should have said something?

(They couldn't do it to St Bede 'cos he's up on a plinth )

st cuthbert is long gone. if he's worried about someone jumping on his gravestone he's a lesser man than i thought.

though elisha dealt effectively with children, using bears.

SelfConfessed - you'd be happy with someone dancing on one of your family member's graves?

I think regardless of religious belief or not, final resting places should be respected.

If the children are bored in church, then that is the fault of the parents not taking them somewhere appropriate, rather than the church's fault for being "boring". Anyway, surely children need a bit of experience doing something which is not entirely focused on them. It's all about balance.

YANBU

My local park is a victorian graveyard and the gravestones have all been moved to rest against the outer walls of the park and there are a few crypt type things dotted around.

Whenever I walk my dog there I spend most of my time chasing him away from the gravestones before he wees on them, there must be at least 100 stones there but it would be so disrespectful. I enjoy tutting at people who let their dogs wee on the gravestones too.

Preach, if it was a family member from 1300 years ago then yes, be my guest. If it was someone close who died twenty years ago then still probably not, but I can totally see why most people would not be ok with it.

Somebody from the cathedral staff pottered in about 2 mins after they'd left. I guess they can't be everywhere all the time.

I'm fine with the kids going somewhere else too. But then no-one can complain that young adults don't go to church much. Make it quiet and boring then people won't go. The hideous local super church with rock concert style services here seems to have zero problems drawing people in. There are so many people they need parking attendants for a mile around to steer people to the car parks. They try very hard to make religion fun and down to earth and apparently that serves people's needs very well, from young to old.

It wasn't just the fact that it was a tombstone, that area also contains an altar.

I'm all for kids having fun in church, but not running around all over the place showing disrespect for the alters If they want to run around they have the cloisters.

It's the Cathedral and a World Heritage Site not Disneyland Selfconfessed

eh, about the only church I've ever liked spending a lot of time in was the one where my mum used to do the flowers. I went all over that place, we played hide and seek in it and looked at every part of it in great detail including the organ and yes the altar. I feel very comfortable in there and got married there :)

Now, there were no services and no one praying or anything else I could have disturbed.

If there is a Jesus, from what I've read he would be telling the older folk to give a little. He didn't say only suffer the quiet, well behaved children.

It's not a normal church though - I see the whole happy clappy thing, but we are talking about something over a millenium old, that is actually an altar. Not a normal grave.

I'm shocked that anyone with any awareness can behave that like, child or not. I am an atheist and I lve going to the cathedral because it is just so peaceful and...sublime.

If it wasn't in a church it would be behind glass in a museum.

I think that children should be taught manners and respect in places such as Cathedrals, museums etc.

Oh, I'm sorry, that's old fashioned though isn't it? These days it's all none stop fun and frolics regardless of the situation and environment

Exactly Britta. I very often go to the Cathedral to light a candle and have some quiet thought about people no longer with me. I wouldn't appreciate being disturbed by children chasing about.

I did acknowledge it was a relic.

Well, you can't go running around on relics or altars I thought these two women were very rude just standing there reading their bit of paper whilst these two ran amok on something that's of international importance and regarded as holy by many folk. I felt sad and wish I'd said something. I'm normally quite gobby. I must be losing my touch.

YANBU my two can be boisterous but no way would I let them run around in a Cathedral.

Its manners and respect at the end of the day

My lovely granny used to take me and my little sister with her to the cemetery every Sunday. She used to put fresh flowers on the grave of her son who was only young when he died. She told us to only walk on the paths between the graves as it was disrespectful to stand on the graves. This wasn't as mawkish as it sounds, by the way. We used to take squash and crisps and have a picnic and a run about in the fresh air - it probably gave my mum a break too.

The grave next to my dad's grave belongs to a stillborn baby and the verse is from Yeats "Tread softly because you tread on my dreams". It reminds me every time I visit of my granny's instruction to be respectful.

my first thought when i read this was "shit, was that me and my kids??!", as they were running riot respectfully soaking up the ambiance in the cathedral today, an we paid a visit to st cuth.
I'm not sure if i think yabu or not....but i do wonder why we are so respectful of certain medieval celebs, whilst we trundle rough-shod over the unmarked, scattered graves in and around the cathedral, of the poor feckers who actually built the thing.

YAnBU

1.it is massively disrespectful, religious or not.

2.It damages the gravestone

YAnBU, my arse

1.it is massively disrespectful, religious or not. Visit a city like York and you would find it quite hard not to step on the odd gravestone occasionaly.

2.It damages the gravestone Gravestones have been re-used for centuries.

EndoplasmicReticulum mentioned whitby graveyard, there's actually a 'pirate' grave in there that kids are encouraged to stamp on. It's got a skull and crossbones on it and you're supposed to stamp on it to stop the pirates from resting in peace. I used to love doing that as a child, now I feel bad!

pirate gravestone

YANBU.

At that age, they can be taught and expected to behave.

just a little way from the cathedral is st. oswald's park, an old graveyard where all the gravestones etc. have been moved to the edges. There's a playground, kids running and shouting, dogs being walked etc. etc. Is that disrespectful?
Not being goady, but am genuinely interested at what constitutes disrespect? The fact that graves are marked?

Next time start recording with your phone and post it on youtube to shame them.