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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my neighbors are making too much noise?

19 replies

SmileAndPeopleSmileWithYou · 21/02/2013 15:13

I'll start off by saying that I think I probably am over-reacting and being emotional about this but just wanted some opinions...

I have a 12 week old DS, he's really good with sleep and we have got him used to sleeping with noise from the start (I can even hoover the house while he naps). But my neighbors (adjoining semi-detached house) are so very noisy all of the time and make sudden loud bangs which seem to make DS jump and wake him up sometimes.

Now, I'm willing to accept that they are not bad people to live next to. It is in the middle of the day or early evening (never after 9-10pm). They don't play loud music or host parties etc. They have 2 children, between 10 and 13yo who never seem to cause any trouble.

The mother is a SAHM and she seems to be stupidly loud during the day, she is the only one in and seems to ALWAYS slam doors, which wakes DS up because its a sudden noise.
The boys are loud after school (to be expected) but whatever they are doing involves thumping on the other side of the wall to DS's room, yes, another sudden noise.
The dad likes his car very much and likes to sit on the drive and rev the engine for a good 20 mins (don't really know why). This always seems to be at DS's bedtime and it takes ages for me to get him to sleep.
There are many many other sudden noises they seem to make.

None of this would normally bother me, and until today I have just shrugged this off and got on with it. But DS has had a particularly bad day and not slept well, I feel like everytime I have managed to get him to sleep today she has slammed a door. Just before this post I got DS to sleep and the engine revving has started earlier today... I'm praying DS stays asleep!

AIBU to think that they could perhaps be a little more considerate to the fact we have a young baby? All I'm thinking is that I have never slammed doors or knocked on the wall...why would you do that?

OP posts:
MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 21/02/2013 15:15

I can see where you are coming from but I do think yabu. It sounds like normal household noise to me.

sneezingwakesthebaby · 21/02/2013 15:17

YABU. Normal household noise at normal household times unfortunately. Could you maybe get some white noise or nature sounds? We had a neighbour a while back who was very noisy when she was getting rudey. All we did was pop the nature sounds on (a nice babbling brook) and it covered the noises up enough for us to get back to sleep again. I think as well when you are stressed by noise from neighbours you get hyper sensitive so every noise feels so loud and annoying especially if you still have a relatively new baby to look after.

sneezingwakesthebaby · 21/02/2013 15:18

And will be annoying even!

Original poster
SmileAndPeopleSmileWithYou · 21/02/2013 15:28

Thanks for the honesty, I'm an emotional wreck today and I suspected I was being unreasonable.

I know I'm lucky really that they are just making normal household noise at appropriate times, who am I to tell them what to do in their house!
I think its just the sheer amount of sudden bangs etc that seem to come from their house continuously. Other noise they make doesn't bother us or DS.

I'll soldier on and wait for a better napping day with DS yawns

Just goes to show how people get stressed and emotional while looking after a young baby! I guess I'm allowed to have my unreasonable days ey!

OP posts:
Original poster
SmileAndPeopleSmileWithYou · 21/02/2013 15:29

haha sneezing... just read your post properly. I'll consider myself lucky then.

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 21/02/2013 15:30

YABU mainly but not about the car revving for 20 mins...I would have to say something about that!!

Original poster
SmileAndPeopleSmileWithYou · 21/02/2013 15:44

Do you think? I wasn't sure about that one, from what I can gather while spying from behind the curtains his car is his hobby. He is always doing something to it. I can understand that but I don't really know what the benefit of revving it everyday is.

I get the impression that any request to stop will be met with hostility though.

OP posts:
honeytea · 21/02/2013 15:51

I have the problem that ds (9 weeks) won't sleep without constant noise, when it is silent he wakes up because of tiny sounds but if tgere is constant noise like dp snoring or tge tv or music he sleeps like a log. There are aps you can download with lovely classical music that yiu can use as background noise :) might be worth a try :)

saycheeeeeese · 21/02/2013 15:54

My neighbours are the same so I feel your frustration, next time he has a screamingfit hold your ds up to the wall for some sweet revenge :o

I honestly don't think my neighbours are aware how noisy they are so I make sure im just as noisy back now!

Original poster
SmileAndPeopleSmileWithYou · 21/02/2013 15:59

honeytea Thinking about it, my DS may be the same as yours. He's fine at night because it is silent with absolutely no noise (very quiet street). And he sleeps if we are out and about, used to nap in moses basket in the living room and I would leave music or TV on to get him used to noise in the day.
I have only started having this problem since putting him in his own room (too big for moses basket).

I will try the background sounds as suggested. Thanks all.

saycheeeeeese tbf, I reckon I've got my own back today with the screaming he did this morning!! Grin

OP posts:
VinegarTits · 21/02/2013 16:07

They probably dont realise how noisy they are, next time she asks how you are just drop some hints, tell her youre very tired as the baby is not sleeping properly because he is terribly sensitive to noise, hopefully she will take the hint!

TheFallenNinja · 21/02/2013 16:12

My neighbour closes every door like the gates of Mordor and her teenage daughter and her scrote boyfriend seem to have two or three hour screaming arguments when she's not there, lord only knows about what.

She's nice enough to talk to but I get the impression that its not a terribly happy house.

It's the downside of a shared wall. Hmm

Pigsmummy · 21/02/2013 21:01

Car revving might be harmless, our car has a leak and it takes a bit of revving to get engine warm enough to get the warm air to clear windscreen.

Pigsmummy · 21/02/2013 21:03

My HV said that the volume of noise in womb from heart beating, blood etc was equivilent to a vacuum cleaner in same room and to noisy around the baby. Tumble dryer works for us

minesapintofwine · 21/02/2013 22:14

Bless you op I know exactly how you feel every time I get my dts to nap my neighbour revs his pick up and the shouty rag and bone man comes down the street. I swear a lot and vow to change their naptime a bit later to miss these events and they sleep through anyway! But the swearing helps me Grin

Original poster
SmileAndPeopleSmileWithYou · 22/02/2013 10:05

Oh yes, had the rag and bone man too! I can't blame the neighbours for that one I guess...

OP posts:
kimorama · 22/02/2013 11:53

Neighbour noise is a major largely hidden problem. Especially in terraced houses.

specialsubject · 22/02/2013 11:56

revving the car for 20 minutes? Ask him where he gets the free petrol from.

slamming doors is not normal household noise. Choose your battle and ask if he can get in the car, start it and drive straight off like the normal people do. Good luck with that, I'm afraid.

Original poster
SmileAndPeopleSmileWithYou · 22/02/2013 13:06

He doesn't even go anywhere in the car! He has a work van, comes home and messes with the car on the drive!

I was thinking about the doors too, how many of you slam your doors everytime you go through them? I don't slam mine...

OP posts:
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