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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

publicly naming rape victims....

40 replies

trashcanjunkie · 19/02/2013 19:41

I realise I should know better than to read the Daily Mail online.... for that I'll accept IABU, but ffs, some utter twunt columnist has decided it would be a good idea to get rid of anonimity for women who have the courage to report a rape! Seriously, my blood is boiling. This is a fucking stupid idea..... No?

OP posts:
MurderOfGoths · 19/02/2013 19:44

Ridiculous, but the kind of shite the daily fail like to print in order to cause maximum outrage.

mrsbunnylove · 19/02/2013 19:45

lovely. public as well as private humiliation.

Original poster
trashcanjunkie · 19/02/2013 19:47

daily fail!! I like that Grin

OP posts:
ChairmanWow · 19/02/2013 19:48

They really do hate women don't they.

bowerbird · 19/02/2013 19:50

Well... I didn't read the article you refer to, and the columnist may indeed be a twunt, but there might be a case for ending anonymity for rape victims. Women were granted anonymity because of the "shame" of rape. No other victims of assault, including murder are granted this. So it could be a step forward.

Original poster
trashcanjunkie · 19/02/2013 19:53

words fail me bower. NO NO NO

OP posts:
poppypebble · 19/02/2013 19:54

If this was the case I'd be dead.

Original poster
trashcanjunkie · 19/02/2013 19:57

oh poppy Sad

OP posts:
ChairmanWow · 19/02/2013 19:58

So women don't feel shame at being raped any more then?

Hardly the same as other crimes. I've never heard of anyone unable to tell the world about their burglary because they feel dirty. The focus has to be on getting more rapes reported and more rapists convicted. This will have the opposite effect.

bowerbird · 19/02/2013 19:58

Why? Seriously, why is it a bad idea? Why is rape still considered shameful, rather than a vicious assault?

Tweasels · 19/02/2013 20:03

I think you're missing the point Bowerbird.

poppypebble · 19/02/2013 20:03

I don't feel ashamed. I feel violated and broken and vulnerable and scared.

I'm pleased for you that you can see this as an interesting debate. Some of us live it and don't have that luxury.

bowerbird · 19/02/2013 20:03

What point?

MrsBW · 19/02/2013 20:04

I don't believe accusers should be named.

But then, I don't believe the accused should be either unless they are proven guilty.

Booyhoo · 19/02/2013 20:08

bower when people are murdered, no-one tells them it didn't happen or that they're 'crying murder'. when people are beaten up no-one tells them they wanted it and then changed their mind afterwards so 'cried assault' when someone is mugged no-one tells them that they'll be ruining an 'innocent' man's life by reporting it. no-one threatens to mug a mugging victim again in order to show them what 'real mugging' is.

Narked · 19/02/2013 20:09

YANBU at all.

This will attract some interesting opinions. Best to leave them to howl at the moon.

Original poster
trashcanjunkie · 19/02/2013 20:10

Okay, bowerbird, let me explain. I'm 35 now, and have had years of on off rape counselling. I was sexually abused by my dad from as early as I can remember. This led to me having a very skewed idea about what was 'normal' sexual development. I put myself in very risky situations as a teenager. The result of this, was that at age 15 I went to a flat with a man I met whilst out drinking under age. He drugged my drink. Whilst I was in and out of conciousness, he and two other men raped me repeatedly over a period of eight hours. It took many years for me to even acknowledge to myself what had happened, and the thought of going to the police actually makes me physically sick. Too many years have passed for me to report now, although I have felt the burden of responsibility many times.

Having anonymity is something women need, as reporting a rape is so fucking appalling in the first place, that the idea you'd have to publicly do this will put off many more women.

excuse stupid typing. very emotive issue. Want to explain as best I can.

OP posts:
bowerbird · 19/02/2013 20:13

Poppy, I'm very sorry that you've had this appalling experience. I really hope that you recover your sense of ... self, equilibrium, security, health and happiness soon.

Please don't assume what other people have or haven't experienced. The OP invited discussion on this topic which I have mixed feelings about and responded. I certainly didn't mean to offend you personally or politically.

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 19/02/2013 20:13

trashcan that is such a horrific experience. So sorry.

If the victim is named less women will report and more scum will be out there to offend again.

It's no-ones business but the victim's.

WorraLiberty · 19/02/2013 20:16

If the victim is named less women will report and more scum will be out there to offend again.

It's no-ones business but the victim's

This ^^ entirely.

It's an outrageous idea but then what to you expect from a rag that makes money out of people reading this shit?

thezebrawearspurple · 19/02/2013 20:17

It's ridiculous and nasty. The only outcome would be that fewer victims would report their rape.

HollyBerryBush · 19/02/2013 20:18

rape is very emotive - I do believe the accused should also remain anonymous until convicted.

I think rape is possibly the worst crime where 'mud sticks' even when acquitted.

Original poster
trashcanjunkie · 19/02/2013 20:20

Thanks hohoho. Worra, I'm totally hearing you, I asked for it looking at that bloody rag! I think a support group may be in order for those of us who cannot stay away from the sodding website we love to hate!

OP posts:
bowerbird · 19/02/2013 20:22

Okay, trashcan I accept that anonymity is necessary if we want to encourage more reporting of rape.

Very sorry to hear about your earlier experiences. I wasn't in any way seeking to diminish the pain and singular nature of the crime of rape.

poppypebble · 19/02/2013 20:25

I haven't recovered in 15 years, bower, so I think it unlikely I ever will. Being left for dead naked in an alley will do that to you though. So obviously I would have been totally happy with my name splashed all over the newspapers, because I hadn't been violated enough so what I needed was people talking about it and speculating.